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I really need some support right now. - Page 2

post #31 of 155
OMG! BBBIIIIIGGGG HUGS to you sweetie! I think we are all taken aback by your news.

But as others have said...if it is meant to be, it WILL be.
post #32 of 155
I'm sorry that you are hurting so much.
post #33 of 155
Oh Katherine sweetie, I'm so sorry. Everyone here has given you such great advice, I don't have any more to add. But know you'll be in my thoughts.
post #34 of 155
Oh, Katherine, I'm SO sorry for you.

I'm a little teary-eyed reading this because I remember what it was like to go through. About seven years into our relationship, my (now) husband decided that he didn't know if he wanted to be in a relationship just then. We split up for a while, and it still hurts my heart to think about that time. But we love each other very much and our relationship was meant to be, and it only took him about two weeks to realize that he couldn't live without me. (It was just the worst two weeks, though.)

The others have given you some great advice. Take care of yourself, and a little ice cream and chocolate can't hurt. Try not to be alone if you can avoid it, and be with people who love you. It helps. (I took off for my brother's place downstate. It helped to get away. Even though I was pretty mopey at the time, they understood. And being with my wonderful little niece helped heal my heart.)

Try to keep some hope in your heart, too, though. This may not be the end of your story with Brandon. One of my favorite quotes is from Gracie Allen, "Never place a period where God has placed a comma."
post #35 of 155
Originally Posted by Tari
One of my favorite quotes is from Gracie Allen, "Never place a period where God has placed a comma."
That is a great quote!

I am very sorry for the pain you are going through right now. When I went through my divorce, I had a little book. One one cover, it said "the tough thing about living alone" and that half of the book talked about bad things about living alone. Like if your feet get cold at night, there is no one to put them on to warm them. If you flip the book over, instead of a back, it was another cover that said "the nice thing about living alone" and that half of the book gave good examples. Like you can wear your pjs all day.

It was very helpful, because at the time I saw nothing good about being alone! Sometimes I cried when I read it, but it was a really cute book, and mostly made me smile!

Hugs to you at this difficult time, Katherine!
post #36 of 155
I know exactly how you feel right now: my husband and I broke up several months into our relationship, for seemingly no reason, and I was absolutely crushed.
Fortunately, in our case, the time apart made him realize how awesome I was!

Everything will work out in the end, for right now, eat a lot of Ben and Jerrys, watch sappy movies, and just allow yourself to wallow for awhile, it's really the healthiest thing to do. In a few days you'll feel like rejoining the living and, slowly, everything will start to seem a little less depressing.

Boys can sure suck, can't they?
post #37 of 155
I'm sorry you are hurting right now.
post #38 of 155
I don't know what to say Katherine, but I'm very sorry you have to go through this right now. It will get better, don't worry and take care of yourself during this time. That's so wonderful that you have such a great relationship with your mom. Don't forget to hug Waffle too! I'm sure she will make you feel a lot happier.
post #39 of 155
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this pain Katherine. I am here to support you 100% and I'm sending you a great big hug.
post #40 of 155
post #41 of 155
OMG i am so sorry to be reading this honey... I know how you feel since i just went through this... I wish I were still down there so I could make time to see you and you could cry all you wanted on me... Im currently at a campground in North Carolina using the free wireless connection outside. lol But I'll be home tomorrow night if you need to talk.. Just PM or email me..
post #42 of 155
Oh Katherine, how awful. I can't add anything to the excellent advice that's already been given, just hang in there honey
post #43 of 155
Originally Posted by blueberrybeth
1. Cry as often as you need to
2. Keep yourself busy, even if it's reading or typing here!
3. Take time to EAT healthy food. This is not a good time to either eat too much of junk or develop a mini-undereating issue.
4. Try to sleep - sometimes listening to talk radio or a relaxation tape will help.
5. Keep talking about it.
6. Kiss your kitty, hug your kitty, tell your kitty about it!
7. Remember that there are lots of us looking out for you
8. Do not do anything silly on the rebound!

You will find it gets just a bit easier every day you are apart, and that way you are ready for being on your own for a while or getting back with said boyfriend.

Take care of yourself - or do the best you can!

I'd like to add to this list (great by the way). When I broke up with my husband (after 12.5 years), after I cried my eyes out for a good week or more and didn't sleep at all, I found that walking was the best therapy. I also scheduled an appointment with a therapist (one who specialized in couple counseling) and talked my co-workers ears off! (to the point where even I was sick of hearing the same old same old). I also found great comfort in reading books (mine were about divorce).

"When one door closes, another one opens"

I think your boyfriend is sending you signals (not telling you all the facts here). You deserve so much more. Don't sell yourself short.

Take care. It will get a little bit easier with each passing day. It's very much like greiving the loss of someone close (like a death).
post #44 of 155
Originally Posted by Antares
Katherine, I tell you something, might not be of help now. But I hope, it is understandable.

If you love someone, let him go. If he comes back, he is yours. If not, he never was.

I am so sorry for you, but, think: You ARE a person without this man. Who knows, of what it is good for.

Antares is right. It hurts of course, but life eventually goes on, with him or without him. I'm sorry for you.
post #45 of 155
Katherine I really didn't expect to read this! I can totally feel your pain - remember it well!

I'm not going to add to the advice, so here are lots of for you!
post #46 of 155
So how is our gal this morning?
post #47 of 155
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by ugaimes
So how is our gal this morning?
Well my mom ended up spending the night, so that was a BIG help, but she had to leave this morning. I'm having a hard time already today and right now I'm just about to leave for a morning class. My roommate should be back around noon so at least I'll only be alone at the apartment for a little over an hour. Later on I have a 3 hour night class that I have to go to and I'm really not looking forward to that. My best friend called me last night and I think she's going to come over after she gets off work. I think I'm going to try to convince her to spend the night because it makes sleeping a lot easier with another body in the bed. Thanks again you guys for all of your support, I really really appreciate it.
post #48 of 155
That's good that your mom came to stay with you. I hope your friend is able to spend the night tonight. Just hang in there sweetie!!
post #49 of 155
oh! Sweetheart, I haven't been online enough to have caught this early, but I'm so sorry! but just take care of yourself for the time being - if you're meant to get back together, you will. Maybe he needs the time to sort himself out properly, and will be back with you as son as he's sorted. It'll all work out though, sweetie.
post #50 of 155
I know it feels like you just can't go on feeling like this but I promise it will get better - it is hard for you to see that right now, but it will. Just try and make it to the end of each day then you are a step closer to being fully healed.

post #51 of 155
I'm glad you made it through the night- the first night is by far the toughest. I'm glad Tiff and your best friend will be around with you today and tonight and I'm so glad your mom could be with you last night.
As completely trite as I know this sounds, what's meant to happen WILL happen and I promise the sun will shine again .
post #52 of 155

I am sending you a big hug!!! I feel that your boyfriend is not telling you the full truth. Everything happens for a reason, good and bad. I am very sorry you are going through this.

Originally Posted by katspixiedust
Well today has made a complete turn for the worst and has now become one of the worst days I have ever experienced. Brendan and I just broke up. We've been together for about 3 years and 5 months and this really came out of nowhere for me.

Believe me, he knows what hes doing, he just does not want to look like the bad guy.

I kind of think that it did for him as well, but he basically told me that he couldn't be in a relationship right now. It has nothing to do with me, and I honestly believe that, because I know he still loves me and thinks I'm the most beautiful girl that he knows...but I guess he just needs to be apart right now. He doesn't know what's going to happen. He doesn't want to be with anyone.

I believe he loves you, but maybe not the same way you love him. When someone loves you they want to make you happy, not hurt you. He knows by doing this it is hurting you a lot, and that is not right

It hurts so much I can't even tell you guys.

I am very sorry. I know what you are going through and I wish you didn't have to go through it. *HUGS*

I can't imagine not seeing him and laughing at his jokes or any of those little things about him that I won't get to experience anymore. He's not looking to the future right now so I have no idea if we'll get back together. Apparently he's thrown up a few times this weekend and has cried a whole lot thinking about it, and I have no doubt that this is hurting him as well. I don't know what to do and I already miss him so much. We honestly worked so well together and I just feel so alone right now. I love him so much and I don't want to be without him. I really, really, really could use some hugs and support right now. I haven't been able to get ahold of anyone really close to me yet, and I need someone. Mainly I just want him and I back the way we were before he felt this way, but I know that at least for now that's not going to happen. Please help me you guys.
I am positive I am not the only one that feels this way. I wish I was wrong. You do not deserve to be treated this way.

Do you have children with him?

Heres a little info on me:

About 5 years ago my 1st husband left me after 7 years of marriage and 2 small children. The day he left he told me he was not coming home after work that he needed time to figure his life out. Sure enough he didn't come back I called him the following day, he told me it wasn't me, it was him and he didn't know what he wanted. A week later I found out he was dating someone else, and a month later he moved in with her. After we filed for our divorce I found out she was pregnant. I was hurt big time!!! When his new son was about 1 year old, he tried getting back with me. I just laughed in his face, and turned him down.

Now I am married to a wonderful man. He loves me and my kids to death. I am very happy things worked out the way they did, if they didn't I wouldn't be with Joel now.

Just remember time heals everything. You have a long life to live, live it to the fullest. I wish you the best!
post #53 of 155
Oh, lots of hugs go out to you right now!!

I know how it feels, I really do. Me and my last boyfriend were dating for more than 5 years, and we broke it off b/c he just wasn't telling me the truth about a lot of things. I was a mess for a long time and I still miss him, I dont think that will ever go away. I know how hard it can be to deal with it all right now, but you have to stay strong and believe that God will bring you thru this. If I can make it thru what I did, you can too.

Stay strong, we're all here for you
post #54 of 155
Katherine, I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and sending lots of hugs your way.
post #55 of 155
Katherine, you're seeing two sides of what could happen/is happening.

1. He is being honest and really just needs to figure out his own head and heart. He may realize in short order how much he needs you in your life, and then he will not doubt it any more.

2. He is trying very hard not to hurt you, but he is at the end of the relationship.

I really hope that it is option #1. Only time will tell. You have and will continue to hear stories from both sides, but the thing that is the case in every one of these scenarios...the sun will rise tomorrow. You will survive, and you will be stronger for it.
post #56 of 155

why do men suck so much?
post #57 of 155
Katherine - I'm sending you lots of girlie hugs from Switzerland...
post #58 of 155
Thread Starter 
Thanks again you guys. Having all of this support is so helpful. Today has been really hard for me and reading all of your posts does help! I know things will get better, it's just so hard for me to see that now. All I can see is how sad I am without him and how confused and hurt I feel. I just feel crushed and at this point it's just so incredibly confusing. Thank you all so much, you all are amazing.
post #59 of 155
Katherine, I'm glad to hear you're hanging in there. That's all you can really do right now. I know that going to your classes and getting on with your life is REALLY hard, but it's better to try to do things to get your mind off it. As the others have said, it will get better. In the mean time, just try to take it a day at a time. If a day's too much to deal with, just take it an hour at a time. Heck, I've seen the time where I've had to break it down to the next five minutes! And we're here for you.
post #60 of 155
I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. I think most of us have been there before. I was in a relationship for over 5 years and when I finally ended it hurt.......the nights are too quiet and the days are too long. Now 4 years later I am married to the man of my dreams. Hang in there, everything happens for a reason.....sometime it just takes a little while to figure out what that reason is
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