How do you quiet the "should-of, could-of's"?

I lost Tigger yesterday and had a sleepless night doing the "should-of, could-of" game in my head. My best friend who is another cat mom goes thru the same agonizing process whenever she loses her cats. Doesn't matter if your heart tells you it was the right thing to do, or that there were no medical options for that cat, your mind kicks into overdrive on all the things you could have done differently that would have kept them with you longer. Maybe its because I've lost 5 cats in the last 18 months (2 ferals, 1 to CRF, 1 to a stroke and Tigger to heart failure), that I'm overly sensitive right now.

Is this just me? Does anyone else have this problem and what do you do to quiet your mind?

It is so hard to get over those thoughts, I've had them many times over the years...the only thing I've found that helps to quiet them is time. Once again I am so sorry for your loss.

alot of people come in with those thoughts (i work at a vet) just keep in mind that your furry ones are in a better place

I'm so sorry for all of your losses. We lost Molly in November, and I still question myself sometimes, even though I know we always took the best care of her that we could. It will ease over time.

It is so sad that you lost Tigger. Please don't try to blame yourself. I don't know the circumstances, but I do know that you are a very loving responsible Mommy to all of your furbabies. What if... well, what if Tigger had a different person? It would be hard to find someone who would come close to taking care of your sweet kitty as well as you did. I'm so sorry for your loss, but know that you made Tigger's life the best it could be. RIP sweet Tigger. Run free.

Amy, it's just part of the process- a part of grief and is perfectly normal. You did all you could and Tigger knows this

Originally Posted by hissy

Amy, it's just part of the process- a part of grief and is perfectly normal. You did all you could and Tigger knows this

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I agree with Hissy. I totally do the same thing. Sometimes it is helpful. We lost a year old pup once, we had not kept up on his shots, and he died a painful death from distemper. I tried to use this as a learning experience, so no pet of mine ever has to go through what Jack did, from to me procrastinating on his shots.

But usually, it is just second guessing. As time goes on, and you play it over in your head, you will see that you provided the best home possible for Tigger. Condolences!