Oh Gawd, I did not read your post about "getting rid" of her - perhaps you could rephrase that to rehoming her? Getting rid sounds so awful! Actually, her behaviour after the other kitty came home from the vet is perfectly understandable. Cats use their strong and finely honed sense of smell to determine where they are and who's who. The other cat smelled iof the vet's office with all those medicinal smells and other cats besides! Of course he would be a maniac. Here he was presented with a new cat in his domain and one just propped into huim, not properly introduced as cats need to be when this happens (and it is not unusual for kitties to not recognize their sibling or bewst bud after one or the other has been to a vet visit.) You could try the vanilla or towel solution - let each adjust to the other by rubbing the same towel on them or placing a bit of vanilla on each in the strategic locations so the smell is not as foreign.
I think with some work, you can turn this around. I have had cats bite me on occasion - sometimes the most loving and kind kitty and I would never think of "getting rid" of them. It was usually because they were scared or upset or ill. You have to think like your cat. She has been traumatized (unknowingly I realize) by your family and she is fighting back the only way she understands and for this you are willing to shove out the door to a pound that will in all liklihood eutheize her - because you will describe her as vicious and not a cat who is safe with children. That makes ME cry!!!! Because the truth is it does not need to happen!!!!!
Start over with this cat. Give her a chance at life PLEASE!!!!! If you love her as you say you do, assume that this is a traumaitized cat who needs much TLC and to be reintroduced to your family. Teach her nor to bite. We antrhopomorphise cats sometimes and we should not do that because they think like cats, not humans!! So she does not understand in the least why you were spraying her - and that sort of thing never really works with cats anyway (unless you happen to catch her in the act right then and she does not associate you with the water bottle). When she goes to bite, direct her attention elsewhere. Find her activities to do that will engage the kitten in her - and be kind and soothing to her. NEVER yell at her. Tho a loud yell sometimes works when a kitten bites and we are teaching her or him not to bite, this will not help your cat now because she associates yelling with trauma and bad things. So you will have to direct her to other things.
Cats and small children should ALWAYS be supervised and I say that professionally as well as someone who adores cats. And teach your children (I do not know their ages) how to hold her, how to be nice to her. And ask your husband to for God's sake be a better example! Yes, cat bites can be dangerous but cats are smart and can learn NOT to bite!!
Have you tried Rescue Remedy? Give her some to try to calm her - or a Feliway diffsuer. She will need it now. No doubt, she sense the bad vibes you are sending in her direction and this poor baby must be scared out of her wits now. Please don't add to her newly learned fear of humans by bringuing her to a cold pound. Animal control orgs are overworked and will NOT go the extra distance for a cat that is traumatized, bites, has fleas - all through no fault of her own - and needs medical attention. She will be on one of the first rounds in the euthenasia room. Please at least save her life by reintorduing your family to her and vice versa or finding a cat rescue organization that has a no kill shelter and can work with her.
She needs help, not the pound!!!
I am so sad as I write this. I know you say you love this kitty - you have her life in her hands and you CAN help her and she will change. If she was once loving, she will indeed be that way again but it will take time, patience, love, prescription flea treatment. You may choose not to believe us - and the people on this site have a plethora of accumulated cat knowledge (I do not include myself, I mean the ppl who run the site) and know all too well - after working with hundreds of cats what is toxic and what is not. Scientific studies demonstrate sadly that these products are useless and worse, known to cause adverse neurological damage in some cats. This thread is but one example so in a way, you are fortunate that your cat is just misbehaving and is not dead. (But she sooo needs to see a vet asap!!!) http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=64870
You may have to think of her as a domestic cat turned feral being severely traumatized but if you work with her and engage the entire family, you can help this cat and save her life. Nor am I being overdramatic about the pound. I work with extremely ill children for a living - I see melodrama every day of my life - and I am astonished and sick that you would bring a cat to Animal Control simply because of something your family created. What about the dog? He has fleas yet he gets to stay? There is something inherantly unfair in that but this whole situation is unfair to this cat.
And yes, you need to protect your children but you can reteach this kitty and turn back the horrible message you are sending them by caring for this poor animal, not disregarding her like yesterday's trash because she hurts them when she is scared. Children with psychiatric probs - some caused by neurological probs - sometimes bite and scream but we heal them. We don't bring them to a place that rates one by how they behave - and even the best behaved kitty can become morose or aggressive in the shelter environment. With her as stressed out as she is, she is also prone to colds and other kitty diseases that can spread like wildfire in a pound. This cat needs to be healed - and your children need to know that our furry friends with four legs are not disposable items who we "get rid of" when they are ill and do not behave in the way we want. Sending that message to children is an even worse dis service than presuming the solution to a cat's unruly behaviour - which is the result of some of their own actions - is to bring her to the local pound where she is likely to die. (SPCA and municipal pounds sometimes have very high kill rates and they determine a cat's adoptability by how socialble and healthy she is. Thx to your family, your cat is on her way to failing that test.) I suppose the only good thing is that they would not giver her to a research lab since labs demand docile cats wellsocialized by the families they come from and many tax supported pounds are required by law to give a certain percentage of their animals to research organizations.)
I apoligize in advance for some of the sarcasm - I am just offended by the notion that you would bring a family member to a place like that without giving her a chance and admittedly, you have not. You sound like you love this kitty - please try to help her. If you cannot open your heart to her, at least find a cat rescue organization that will at least help her. You do realize the fee you pay at the pound for bringing her in is prob the cost of a vet visit (it is here anyway) that would in all liklihood have prevented this disaster!!
And tonight, just arriving home from working to help my fellow oncologists in Lousiana, I do not use the term disaster lightly. I will hug my cat a little more tonite knowing there is a kitty somewhere whose family would abandon her because she bites and needs help!