What to you do?

I am at the end of my rope with this. I dont know how many other ways to tell Steve that I need to spend more time with him or he at least needs to CALL ME when he is going to be as late as he was today. AGAIN. *sighs*
Anyways he was supposed to work from open-5 today. Than head out and pick up a MO for me for horse board.

Well it gets to be about 8 oclock. No sign of him. no voice mail at work (like i always ask him to leave) nothing.. so i am getting super worried. well he comes walking in the door at 8:24 like nothings wrong. His big reason for being so late? "I had to wait for a deal to roll" AGAIN that is always the reason. and 3 hours? 3 HOURS! I would hand it off to someone else after an hour. *sighs*

We dont get to spend anytime together. Hes always more concerned about whats going on at guitar center and is becoming less and less interested at home.

Can you say " lay it on the line?" tell him how you feel and how it is upsetting you. Give it to him in one fell swoop, don't sugar coat it, don't lie, just put it out there for him to see. If he really cares, he'll change. if not, then well.......

My bf does the exact same thing. After I called him sobbing at 4am because he wasn't home yet and hadn't bothered to leave a message he started wising up. It didn't help that it always used to be 20 minutes (HOW DOES 20 MINUTES TURN INTO 6 HOURS!?) Unfortunately his work just takes over like that sometimes. I've told him I'll be less angry at him if he at least calls me to let me know he will be late. So now he is at least calling me more, even if he still rarely gets home before 7-8.

I'm not sure I helped. Try sobbing maybe?

Oh i have been sobbing. I am not as mad if he calls me either. but thats been a battle too. Got new cell phones maybe that will help I dont know. I just feel like right now the job is more important. I know its because he wants to make a living. I know his hearts in the right place and he doesnt want me working so much..but

My husband it the same way!!! I am so at him lately. I don't know what to do anymore...

Originally Posted by ScamperFarms

Oh i have been sobbing. I am not as mad if he calls me either. but thats been a battle too. Got new cell phones maybe that will help

I dont know. I just feel like right now the job is more important. I know its because he wants to make a living. I know his hearts in the right place and he doesnt want me working so much..but

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I understand. I deeply resent Kirby's work, especially when he has to go in on weekends or doesn't come home until 4-5am. But sometimes I'd rather have less money and more time with him.

I would much rather have less money. plus that would mean the wicked witch whos getting HALF his check right now would get less...GRRR

Originally Posted by ScamperFarms

Oh i have been sobbing. I am not as mad if he calls me either. but thats been a battle too. Got new cell phones maybe that will help

I dont know. I just feel like right now the job is more important. I know its because he wants to make a living. I know his hearts in the right place and he doesnt want me working so much..but

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It hurts doesn't it? I'm celebrating 18 years this upcoming Monday and I can totally empathize with you! I suggest you tell Steve what you are feeling and why. He's not a mind reader and is obviously unaware of how hurt you are feeling. If after discussing that with him he continues to disregard how you feel, then maybe you should give him an ultimatum. Just my 2 cents. Been there, still doing it! It comes and goes.

I have told him how i feel. and its not that he is disreguarding it. or doesnt care. it just doesnt seem to change anything...oh well at least i got some chocolates.. :/

Okay I aint dr Phil..hehe.. but I would suggest a date night that he has to attend where you can talk ... and just hang ...

Been there, done that.

I'm the last person to give advice though because I handled it very poorly.
I became passive aggressive about it.


Hope you find some way to make him understand.

well we had a long talk. Sunday is going to be US day for the morning. I know he has to go to band practice and I have to work for four hours. I think i might go to band practice with him. He watches football and Nascar on sundays but he agreed sunday night after band to watch a sappy movie with me.

Yippy that is progress

Yeah lets just hope he sticks too it. big bla head lol

I hope everything works out.......

But most importantly....please please please...do not compromise your feelings..... if something hurts you...you need to YELL it outloud....ya know what I am saying......

I understand that it is a step in the right direction that you guys are gonna watch a "sappy" movie together on Sunday.... but please dont let it end there...even if everything is fine and dandy on Sunday...this issue needs to be addressed.....

sorry i just think ou're super cool, and i would hate for someone to take your sweet nature for granted....

just please please please stick up for yourself...belive me it works.... John never pulls this kinda crap with me....and a big part of that has to do with the fact that we are honest with eachother all the time...

good luck on sunday

My bf always contacts me when he's going to be late and gives me an apporximation of what time to expect him because he doesn't want me worrying. I could not imagine him coming home late every night without calling me to say he'll be home late. I do not think I would hang around for very long if that were the case.

well so far today he has called twice to check on me and see how i was. So thats a good thing. I think one of the biggest issues we are working with is. Steve being 10 years my senior, has been married twice. And neither woman really cared. Hes not used to someone careing, so we are working on it.

Its not that he doesnt love me and that he doesnt care for me. Hes a wonderfull guy. We are working on the small things before they become large ones. He really did listen to me last night and has made an effort to be more affectionate today. My feet hurt so bad right now, LOL. ah well I had fun at the Husky Hike

I feel for you. When Neil takes a day off he would go up and work on the farm, then stop and visit one of his sisters, start driving home then stop at one of his brothers-then they would play cards for a hour or so!!!! Once at 11:30 I called his sister to find out where he was-he had left her house several hours earlier and just so happened to drive into the garage while I was on the phone with his sister. I keep trying to remind him to pick up the phone and call me so I know what's going on. I don't mind that he is doing this stuff just the fact I do not know where he is.
I can't seem to ge that through his thick skull!!! Its got to me the midwest men???
Simply maddening!!!!
I hope communication improves between you two...
BTW how did the dog thing go today???

Steves a southern man LOl so it must just be men in general.

The dog thing went GREAT! Isis had a BLAST! and shes tuckered now very very tuckered. So am I. It was a three mile hike and when i got home I had to take Athena to the lake for a walk so she didnt feel left out.

Glad you had a good time today...hope the rest of the weekend is just as good.