Dear Husband:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for
good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to
show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell
me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last
week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and
nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore,
you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't
love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is
a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown
out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice
when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to
mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say
anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite
meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I
stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you
had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed
that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty
dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all
of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I
discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit
my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you
were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the
filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that
you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was
born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Signed Rich and Free!
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for
good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to
show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell
me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last
week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and
nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore,
you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't
love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is
a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown
out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice
when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to
mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say
anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite
meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I
stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you
had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed
that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty
dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all
of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I
discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit
my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you
were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the
filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that
you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was
born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Signed Rich and Free!
