Ugh...why does this still bug me??

Hey everybody! Just thought I'd share.

Back when I was in college, I had a boyfriend - my first. We dated all the way through college (with a couple of breakups in between - I loved drama!), and were hoping to get married. Anyway, that fell apart a couple of months after we graduated. We have kind of kept in touch - his last email was "congratulations on your apparent marriage."

I have been married for almost a year now, and dated my husband for a couple of years before that. Now WHY DOES IT STILL BOTHER me to find out that he just got married too? I mean, it doesn't make me upset per se, just that my stomach dropped a little when I heard.

I do love my husband very much, and have no doubts about our rightness for each other. Is this just first-love syndrome? Or am I crazy?? I'm calling for a little back-up in the OKness sector!!

You know, I guess the past never is completely forgotten... did or does anybody else have this syndrome sometimes? Thanks for any advice or stories!

It's your first love - they are different - they will always be special!!

I go through the same thing, especially when I'm single! I recently broke up with someone, and found myself once again in memory lane with some of the guys I dated back when. Call it a moment of desperation or whatever, but I decided to contact two of the ones I had the best times with. One was married, but one was actually delighted that I had contacted him, as he had thought about me over the years too, and we are actually dating again!!! Life is too short for "what if's", and maybe it will work and maybe not, but as of right now, I'm glad I had the guts (or was desperate enough, lol) to write him! I guess that's a little off the subject, but my point is, yes, I still think about them and would be a little jealous to hear about their relationship successes, when ours didn't work out!

...No comments! ( sorry.. ..) But I´m here to listen to you when you needed!

It's understandable that you feel that way. It's kind of a finalization when your first love gets married...even if you never had any plans of being with them again. It kind of stings...

It happens to the best of us! I have been in the best relationship of my life for the past 5 years and every now and again I'll think of a past love or I'll see them and I get all antsy and wierd. Though I wouldn't trade what I havefor anything in the world, I guess it's normal to be a bit begrudged about your ex being successful in love with someone other than you... ) Hope this helps!

I sorta dated (long boring story - he was ALMOST my first boyfriend) a guy about 3 years ago, I wasn't in love with him but I did really quite like him, and then it all fell apart. He's rooming with a friend of mine right now who occasionaly mentions him and for some reason it makes my stomach drop when I hear about him. I really don't WANT to be with him, I'm with someone I really love, but for some reason he still gets to me.

Glad to know I'm not the only one!

Originally Posted by Pepper Girl

I don't know about you blueberrybeth but it's almost like somewhere deep down I knew that if my bf and I didn't work then he'd be there. Not as a "back up"...just there... I know this probably sounds really dumb and imature but that's how I felt. I hope this helps you a bit...I know it's helped me actually, saying or writing this outloud. I've never acknowledged it to anyone before. Thanks.

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You're welcome, and I know how you feel. I guess I never really considered my ex a backup person, but I know how you wonder "what if..." even though you know it wasn't right. I did that a lot after we broke up, and it took me over a year to get over him (I was dating my husband at the time...talk about a mess!). To me, it seems like it's all about the romance - to be young and not know what it's like to be heartbroken or jaded. I had that with my ex, and that part of me is gone. My husband is fabulous in the way that he understands that and loves me anyway...he knows the difference between puppy love (ex) and real love (him and I).

But I guess that tinge won't go away...not today anway.