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Too Funny! :)  

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

How can there be self-help GROUPS?

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain

If you had a million Shakespeare's, would they write like a monkey?

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

Why do they call it life insurance?

Is Lever 2000 soap Y2K compliant?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, who's the idiot that
said: Quit while you're ahead?

What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell
them to go?

Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all?' - George Carlin

If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand
words, how dangerous is a fax?

Practice makes perfect, but if nobody's perfect, why practice?

After heat killed bad germs, where do they go?
Obviously not in heaven, since they've been bad. Surely then can't go
to hell, for the heat would kill them again(?)...

When it rains, how come cows don't knock on the farmer's door and say,
"Hey, let us in, we're all wearing leather out here!"

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? - George Carlin

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Why are haemorrhoids called 'haemorrhoids' instead of 'asteroids'?

Why are there 5 syllables in the word 'monosyllabic'?

What's the speed of dark?

If it's 0 degrees today, and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow,
....how cold will it be?

May I refuse to inherit the earth?

In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you're
planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

post #2 of 12
Hee hee hee... good one Cat!!!
post #3 of 12
Originally posted by Catarina77777

What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell
them to go?

Work? Sorry hell - work same thing! Just kidding.

Too funny!
post #4 of 12
Thread Starter 
:laughing2 Haha! Good one Adrienne! :laughing2 HAHA! Rhee, I knew you'd like that! haha! I liked "What is the speed of dark?" hahahaha!!

post #5 of 12
Those are great, Cat!
post #6 of 12
Cat thats so funny cos that was my fave too!!! hahaha.... Wonder how to work it out.... hmmmm :laughing2
post #7 of 12
Thread Starter 
Put a tape recorder by your bed while :laughing2

post #8 of 12
My dad used to say "morning comes swiftly" every night at bedtime. Then my guess is darkness moves swiftly! (it was so irritating trying to read at night & have my day say the same thing over and over when he wanted lights out!)
post #9 of 12
If you were to measure the time from when you turn off the light until it gets dark are you measuring the speed of dark or the speed of the electricity?

Also how is it that you can shut off the light and have a cat appear in your bed faster than the room turns dark? Teleportation maybe?

If they built a vehicle that travels at the speed of thought,how would you get to an unfamiliar destination?
post #10 of 12
Thread Starter 
A question similar to your Wayne...if they built a vehicle that traveled the speed of light...if it had a light on it, would the light shine ahead of the vehicle??????? haha! Strange thoughts we come up with...

Cats..definitley teleportation

3rd...I think automatic travel till you find it device.


post #11 of 12
"Humpty Dumpty:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the King’s horses

And all the King’s men

Couldn’t put Humpty together again."

OMG Cat, you're right. How on Earth did we all get the idea he was an egg? From the original artist...wow, I wonder what the rhyme really was about....
post #12 of 12
Thread Starter 
Hi Alicia...

As we all know Lewis Carroll was the writer for Alice In Wonderland and she found good ol Humpty ('member that rap song! hahaha) There so many sites Humpty! hahaha! check it this one out ..\\Humpty Dumpty's Fall....
These pics are so interesting...history implies that Humpty was indeed a person and had to do with medeival times within England...pretty interesting stuff...well, like in all nursery rhymes there has to be a meaning and this one is obvious enough...don't climb high walls; you can fall down and break your bones...eeeks. Did you know that Ring Around the Rosie was a song created by children when the bubonic plauge was an epidemic! Yes, there was a ring that formed around the rose colored sores on the skin ...pocket full of possies...well, that meant "puss" (YUCK) ashes, ashes, we all fall down...that meant that the people that died from the plauges were burned instead of buried. UGH..Believe it or not, I learned that in college! hahaha! That was a hard class! hahaha! Wow, did this Thread take a strange turn! haha :laughing2 :laughing2
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