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post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
My little girl passed away at 1630 today.

Two weeks ago she stopped eating. I took her to the vet who believed it was due to an infected tooth. In the past two weeks, she ate less and less and become gradually more and more withdrawn. She would sleep under the covers with me every night, but I would have to put her there. She drank constantly, until the last few days.

She went into the vets on saturday and was diagnposed with CRF. Her numbers were astronomical. She did not react to two days of IV. I made the decision to have her put to sleep but before I could get to the vets she passed away in her sleep. This evening I dug a grave with my hands in the woods above our home and read a poem over her after filling in the grave.

With Carmen, a part of myself has died. I can think of no other way of expressing my grief. For now, the part of me that laughed, and joked, and was able to smile at life's quirks, has gone. She was my companion for seven years. She was that rare treat, a female ginger, companion to Emily, Caitlin and Anya, and bevoled "toddler" for myself and my wife. every night I would go to sleep with Carmen around my neck. Every morning she would have migrated to my head.

So what can I say about her personality. Well, we have three other cats, and they are all different. Carmen was the lady, the distinguished one. She would always be impeccably groomed. She would never get into fights. Whilst the others came back caked in mud, she was above that. She loved being near me. I once walked nearly two miles before turning round and seeing her still pottering along behind me. I once drove fity miles before I nose was pressedint my ear from the back seat, and loud purring signalled that it was now time to turn around and go home again.

Se loved Christmas decorations, but rather than making a mess of them, would simply curl up in the box of tinsel and fall asleep. Now she has gone to sleep, ne'er to wake, and I miss her dreadfully. A piece of my soul has been lost her her passing, and in my grief I cannot see happiness at the end.

I loved my little girl, and she hasbeen ripped painfully from me.

Passed Away 19/09/205 aged 7 Years.
Resting Where no shadows lie
post #2 of 20
Sorry for loss , i know it hard
post #3 of 20
I am so sorry Gareth

RIP Lady Carmen
post #4 of 20
I am so sorry for your loss!!! Carmen is an now. Playing with my baby Averee! My thoughts are with you!!
post #5 of 20
Oh my dear!! I am crying with you!! I just recently lost my dear Rotten, and I feel your grief!! My your sweet girl find peace over the Rainbow Bridge. and may you find comfort from your other fur children and the others on this site!
post #6 of 20
Oh Gareth i somehow had a feeling you would be in here soon after your thread the other day

You've shared some lovely stories with us of Carmen and she's been a wonderful friend and companion to you But you keep those thoughts of Carmen in your head and she will never die!.

Carmen will be well over the bridge now and back to health, and don't worry, she'll be there to meet you one day and wrap herself around your neck again

RIP Carmen Play until you see your mum and dad again
post #7 of 20
I am so sorry for your greif, it is never easy when you loose a loved one, I hope and pray in time you will feel better as I know you will. You are in my thoughts and prayers at this very tough time RIP Sweet Carmen and enjoy RB be free and healthy, and watch over your sweet careing Mom.
post #8 of 20
My how you did love this cat. Take comfort in all the precious memories you have.

I know what you are going through as I recently lost my cat, Max, to renal failure.
He got sick on Thursday and was gone by Monday. I feel like a part of me has died too.

One thing that I did that helped was I wrote a story about my life from day one with Max. I am so glad I did because sometimes as time passes we forget things. I would never want to forget anything about my precious Max. Maybe you could do that too.
Another thing is, just go ahead and cry whenever you want too. It helps.

We are thinking of you and hope the pain gets easier.
Carmen, you were a blessed cat to have a family who loved you so dearly. Rest in sweet peace dear kitty.
post #9 of 20
I am so sorry for your loss of Carmen..she sounded like quite the lovely lady.

RIP Carmen
post #10 of 20
Condolences, Gareth, on the loss of dear Carmen. As I read your post, I thought of the thread in the lounge about cat soulmates. Maybe when you are feeling better, you can post about Carmen there?

Many have posted of that one special cat, but unfortunately many have already crossed the Rainbow Bridge, like your Carmen.

You were blessed to have that sweet relationship with such a special friend as Carmen, but it does make her loss a stabbing pain. I am very sorry for you and your family at this difficult time. May God reach into your heart and provide you with a healing peace.
post #11 of 20
Thread Starter 
thank you all for such caring thoughts. I have indeed posted a little story about carmen on the soul mates thread, and have plenty more stories like that when I feel up to it. right now, I still feel pretty traumatised to be honest.

Thanks again everyone, it is really appreciated.
post #12 of 20
Thread Starter 
I found this version of the poem, which has me in tears by the first verse, and floods by the second. I can't believe I'm crying so much, how long can this pain last!

By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.

For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.

No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.

They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.

For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
The time of their parting is over at last.

The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.
post #13 of 20
Awwww Gareth Just take it one day at a time because you've lost a loving friend and companion in Carmen

And i think this is your poem
post #14 of 20
Gareth, I know what you mean about the pain. It's been a week since I lost my Rotten and the faintest thought of her brings tears to my eyes. The Rainbow Bridge poem never really hit me in an emotional way until now. Reading it, like you said, brought on a flood of tears and emotion!! I sincerely hope things get easier for you!!
post #15 of 20
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Amandaofcols
Gareth, I know what you mean about the pain. It's been a week since I lost my Rotten and the faintest thought of her brings tears to my eyes. The Rainbow Bridge poem never really hit me in an emotional way until now. Reading it, like you said, brought on a flood of tears and emotion!! I sincerely hope things get easier for you!!
As I indeed hope things get easier for you. thanks for your thoughts.
post #16 of 20
Gareth, what a special bond you had with Carmen, and what a hole she leaves behind. The hole will never go away, but you will learn how to move around it without falling in. For now, let the tears happen -- they will cleanse the wound. Be gentle with yourself, and know that we are all here with you.

RIP sweet Carmen
post #17 of 20
it's even harder when they die so early in their lives, so unexpectedly... Mouse was also only 7. i share in your grief
post #18 of 20
What a loving tribute to Carmen. I am sure she is looking down on you purring, waiting to be reunited. I understand the grief is overwhelming right now, and that is normal. Slowly it will ease and soon you will be able to think of her with smiles rather than tears. She will always hold a special place in your heart.

RIP Carmen.
post #19 of 20
I'm terribly sorry about your loss. The pain you feel right now will go away even though you feel like it never will but the thoughts, the love and the memories you shared with your cat is something irreplaceable. I don't really know what to say, I'm just really sorry
post #20 of 20
Oh, Gareth, I'm so so sorry. Let yourself grieve for awhile but also take some time to snuggle with your other pets and hug your human friends. No, nothing will ever fill that hole Carmen left but you'll find with time, that your heart is bigger than you ever thought it was and when you form bonds with new friends they will fill the spaces around it.

Honestly, your posts on Carmen have reduced me to tears. I'm so so sorry for your pain.
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