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I'm so Furious I could scream....

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 
A lot of you know that I have been sick for some time now. I get up everyday to go to work. L I even go to work when I feel like I can't hardly put one foot in front of the other and struggle through the day.

Most of the time my boss is great but lately he has been nit-picking about things. Okay I understand what my job is and how to do it. I have worked for him 5 years and I really should know what I am doing by now. In the past 5 years he has only given me a raise once.....once...

Today he started in on me again about various things. When he raised his voice at me I drew the line and told him that right now would not be a good time to discuss anything with him. I was Fuming He told me if I felt that way I needed to go home. I told him that I thought that was a D@mn good idea. I got my stuff and came to the house.

I don't know what will happen now nor do I care right about now whether I have a job or not. I will not be talked to in that tone of voice. It may work with his children but I am not one of his children. If I am wrong I will apologize but I don't feel like I am wrong at all. So now we shall see if I will be working on my resume in the hunt for a new job or am I still employed.

Am I wrong?????
post #2 of 27
Oh Cathi, I think we've all been through those times with our bosses! There have been times when I just want to stomp out, but since I have bills, I don't. As long as you know you were right, then stand your ground with him. But I would update my resume and have it ready just in case.
post #3 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by kittylover4ever
Oh Cathi, I think we've all been through those times with our bosses! There have been times when I just want to stomp out, but since I have bills, I don't. As long as you know you were right, then stand your ground with him. But I would update my resume and have it ready just in case.
You are not wrong!!!
post #4 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kittylover4ever
Oh Cathi, I think we've all been through those times with our bosses! There have been times when I just want to stomp out, but since I have bills, I don't. As long as you know you were right, then stand your ground with him. But I would update my resume and have it ready just in case.
The sad part is I do have bills a lot of doctor bills and medication bills. Resume is updated as of right now. Basically I am too tired to care anymore. I think it's time to take a vacation since I haven't had one since Ken and I was married 3 years ago.
post #5 of 27
you are definetely not wrong!

I dont have any advice but here is a
i hope you get better soon!
post #6 of 27
You weren't wrong Cathi. I bet your boss will apologize tomorrow after he has had time to think about it. I remember you talking about him before and he seems like a good one.
post #7 of 27
I am sorry but if he is paying you to do a job and he wants to yell at you, that is his right. It doesn't make it right, but if he wants to do it you can. You dictating to him that on his time when he is paying you out of pocket to do a job, and telling him not to speak to you was wrong. In the army they would call it insubordination.

I have been yelled at by bosses before, and you just take it if you want to keep the job. If you don't like the job, don't need the job then you hit the door. But be sure, especially now when so many employers are reaching out to the survivors of Katrina and offering them jobs instead of their local people, that you have another job waiting in the wings when you do.
post #8 of 27
I dont think an employer has a right to say or do anything he wants simply because he/she knows you need that paycheque. You should respect a boss not fear him/her.A good boss will treat you with the respect you deserve not use you as his personal stress punching bag. If I were you, Iwould look for another job simply because he treated you that way...whether or not he seeks to fire you at this point..
post #9 of 27
I don't have any good advice to give you so I will send you hugs instead
post #10 of 27
I tend not to agree with Hissy on this. No body has the right to disrespect you in anyway, shape, form or fashion. And don't even get me started on our military and their ways... However I would start the job search fairly quickly, like yesterday. Hope everything works out well for you in the end!
post #11 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by hissy
I am sorry but if he is paying you to do a job and he wants to yell at you, that is his right. It doesn't make it right, but if he wants to do it you can. You dictating to him that on his time when he is paying you out of pocket to do a job, and telling him not to speak to you was wrong. In the army they would call it insubordination.

I have been yelled at by bosses before, and you just take it if you want to keep the job. If you don't like the job, don't need the job then you hit the door. But be sure, especially now when so many employers are reaching out to the survivors of Katrina and offering them jobs instead of their local people, that you have another job waiting in the wings when you do.

Now here is where we will disagree. Not speaking to me at that time was so I wouldn't say or do something I would regret later. Just because he is paying me does not give him or anyone else the right to yell at an employee. I do like the job if I had not I would have left over 4 years ago during tax season when it was a living hell to work in.

Mary Anne I am not trying to rub you the wrong way here but what gives you the right to dictate? I am not in the army I am in the real world outside of the military. This job is not the military, it is a CPA firm where everyone should be treated with a little respect. I have always shown the upmost respect to my employer and I only ask that in return. Hitting the door today was excatly what I did. Yes I do need a job but not at the expense of being reduced to a child's level.

I did ask for opinions from every one and I do respect yours as well as everyone elses. With that being said I am taking all of this with a grain of salt.
post #12 of 27
I wasn't dictating, I was just telling you my feelings. Bosses pay for you to do a job. That's what work is- and rather than telling him to leave you alone, and you getting dismissed and losing pay- there were other ways to handle it. I know you are struggling with all the health issues going on, and I don't think you can afford to lose a job? I could be wrong, and I should have worded my post better. I am sorry if I upset you, it was not my intent. You have a lot of people offering you sympathy and I just gave you another view of your situation.
post #13 of 27
I think you should have a talk with him and tell him he's a great boss but lately he seems to be on you about little things that he didn't care about before. Giving a person the benefit of the doubt and having a calm, air clearing discussion can do wonders.
post #14 of 27
If it were me, I would probably go in the next day & act as if nothing happened. Have some things ready to say just in case. Who knows, the whole thing might blow over & you may have earned some measure of respect. But that's me, I can't tell anyone what do do, because every situation is different.
post #15 of 27
Maybe your boss has some things going on in his personal life that you don't know about that caused him to take it out on you? I don't think it is right, but he is human.

I think you leaving may not have been the best thing to do, but it's better than you both getting into a heated conversation that may have resulted in you quitting or getting fired.

I think a nice calm sit down discussion is what you both need. Sounds like you both need a "time-out" from work. I know working retail that when the stress level goes up, everyone deals with it different.

Talk to him when you are both calmed down. You both may learn a lot about each other and end up respecting each other more.

Not every boss is easy to work for. That's for sure!

Hugs to you {{{{}}}}} .

Bobbie
post #16 of 27
Oh for goodness sakes, you do deserve some respect.

Power to you that you make the right decision.
post #17 of 27
I've blown up at bosses in similar situations, but these were people that were my friends as well as employers.

The only time I was in extactly your shoes, I was working a union job, and had issues with my supervisor, and my union would do nothing about it. Told me to speak to my shop steward, well, this supervisor was my shop steward.

She was ragging on me, off the clock, and I took it for about 15 minutes until I realised that she was griping at me on my time, I told her where to put it and left.

Union people called me, wanted me to come back to work, I told them I couldn't do that unless they transferred me since the super and I had obvious personality conflicts.

I do not know where you live, but in all honesty, you have the legal right to be treated with professional respect in the workplace.
Yelling at you, or belittling you are not at all respectful
post #18 of 27
I guess I can see Hissy's point. In general, the boss is the boss. Sometimes we have to do things their way, whether we like it or not.

That doesn't mean you just take verbal abuse, or belittling. But you have to respond appropriately. I don't know your whole situation, but maybe you should go in tomorrow and apologize. Let him know how you were feeling, and ask if you could meet to discuss what he wants for you.

And if you can't tolerate no raises and a mean boss, go job hunting on days off, and replace the job before you leave it.

That said, if you feel abused, and feel he should apologize first, go in and start with a meeting to clear the air. If you can't resolve the issue, best of luck. At least you leave with your head held high!

P.S. Be careful if you are sick and you carry the health insurance. Those pre-existing clauses can be awful.
post #19 of 27
I understand where hissy is coming from, and sometimes we do have to take a lot of stuff from our boss, Lord knows, I put up with disrespect and being talked to like a child, from mine. I don't grin and bare it, I cry and bare it.

However, I don't think that just because someone is your boss, it gives them the right to treat you any way he/she pleases. I believe the Labour Board would tell you that. Although the boss has more rights it seems than the worker, they simply can't "abuse" you because you are working for them. If he is abusive,you could have justified reasons to quit. You would need proof that he is being abusive, though.
post #20 of 27
It seems to me your health is the real problem here. I hope you can get that resolved so that you feel better and can go to work and feel like doing a job. I don't know what exactly you are dealing with, but I hope first of all that you soon feel better.
It must be hard to go to work feeling lousy every day. Is your boss aware of all that you are dealing with as far as your health issues are concerned. It seems to me if he does, maybe he would be a little more tolerable.
post #21 of 27
Heres the thing: I dont know what state you live in, but here in Virginia we have a "right-to-hire-and-fire" law. Meaning, a company doesnt necessarily have to have a legit reason to fire you. However, I have to agree with you....no boss should yell at you. Period. And in some states, especially if he has over 50 employees, thats considered harrassment, and he can be sued, right or wrong. I think everyone, including Hissy, had some pretty valid points. You told him he was toeing the line when he raised his voice to you, and he told you to go home. I would go in and try to talk to him about it.
I had a similar situation where my boss yelled at me in a meeting in front of my co-workers without any provocation. I told him privately, that would be the last time he ever did that to me. It was humilitating and professionally degrading.
My husband doesnt yell at me, and neither will a boss.
post #22 of 27
Thread Starter 
I went in on my own time this morning and talked with my boss.

The first thing I asked him was could we discuss the problem without him screaming at me. He said that we could I sat and listened to what he had to say before saying a word. He told me what had set him off and also that it was partly my fault but the other part was due to a bank error. I wasn't totaly to blame for the error in sending the client the balances in their account. Now I am one that can admit when I am wrong with no problem. I just didn't feel wrong in this matter. We talked for about an hour and I went on to work a full day with no problems.

My boss and I also discussed my medical problem in depth as to what is going on with me. Not only has the gremlin been in a nasty mood lately I have passed 17 small kidney stones in a 4 week time frame. Yep a lot of pain there too on top of the gremlin acting up. I went to see my urologist today and he is referring me to Emory Hospital in Atlanta Georgia. Hope they can help me a little more than my present uro has.

I had already discussed this with my boss about the possiablity of going to Emory and he agreed that it would be a good idea. Yes I will have to take some time off for that. But since I haven't actually taken a vacation in 3 years that will be part of my vacation time for the trip to Atlanta.

Thanks to everyone for the support and advice given. You guys are all gems
post #23 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bugaboo1
It seems to me your health is the real problem here. I hope you can get that resolved so that you feel better and can go to work and feel like doing a job. I don't know what exactly you are dealing with, but I hope first of all that you soon feel better.
It must be hard to go to work feeling lousy every day. Is your boss aware of all that you are dealing with as far as your health issues are concerned. It seems to me if he does, maybe he would be a little more tolerable.
Thank you for that. Sadly my problem there is no cure for, we just have to find the correct treatment to make me comfortable and human when I am in severe pain.
post #24 of 27
I have heard good things about that hospital, my sister lives in Atlanta. I am glad you are getting help for your health issues- those gremlins can be tiresome-
post #25 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by hissy
I have heard good things about that hospital, my sister lives in Atlanta. I am glad you are getting help for your health issues- those gremlins can be tiresome-
Thanks Mary Anne Boy you got that right about the gremlin being tiresome I do hope that Emory can help me better than Shands did. Don't get me wrong Shands is a wonderful hospital but the doctor I was seeing there was looking in the wrong direction for answers to my problem.

As far as I know right now Ken will be taking off work to go with me. It is a 4-5 hour drive one way from my home. It really seems like the doctor listens to what I am telling them with him in the room and he can also give his input. Just keep your fingers crossed.
post #26 of 27
Cathi,

I am sorry that you are going through some tough times. I quit my job last month after 17 yrs. I cannot begin to name all the stuff I have gone through in the last few years under his supervision. If you work if wearing on you heavily, then it affects your health and you need to decide if you want to continue working under those conditions. You do have a choice. You can choose not to work there.
post #27 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by captiva
Cathi,

I am sorry that you are going through some tough times. I quit my job last month after 17 yrs. I cannot begin to name all the stuff I have gone through in the last few years under his supervision. If you work if wearing on you heavily, then it affects your health and you need to decide if you want to continue working under those conditions. You do have a choice. You can choose not to work there.

I also quit my job of 10 years because it was starting to affect my health. Best decision I ever made.
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