I need some help (sorry, I only ask if I really need it!)

I am about to lose it. I am under so much stress, I feel like throwing my phone and computer across the lobby. My job has gotten 100% time more stressful since the end of July. We are short staffed now, and I feel like I have taken on an insane amount of work while answering the phone (which rings about 200-400 times a day). I have gone from being able to do my homework at work, to having little or no time...which makes home life even more stressful. I am about to start my internship on the weekends too at the Children's Museum. Also...my mother's side of the family...well it's complicated...there is a lot of dirt and nonsense going on and its really putting an extra strain on me. My heart is overstressed because at night, it beats really fast...I seem to be going to the bathroom more (bladder)...I just feel like I am falling apart. Does anyone have any advice?

Candie my nextdoor neighbour is a legal secretary and is going through more or less the same as you because their place is short staffed, and she's even working her lunches, and i can see by talking to her that she's stressed.

She's in bed sometimes at 7.30.p.m because she's so drained, and last night she burst into tears because it's all getting on top of her.

What i told her is, theres only so many hours in a day, and you can only do so much, and the companies not going to collapse if you can't get everything done that day.

Your a long time dead so don't make it happen too soon because seriously, it's just not worth it!

Well I've been in your shoes before... world on your shoulders, dirty & insane family issues, very stressful stuff at work, all that and a bag of chips thrown in & just enough stuff to make you really consider padding a room in your house, ditching society, and wrapping up in a nice jacket to drool the day away.

Before you do that though, try SCREAMING. I mean really scream. It lets out a LOT of frustration, anger, and it truly VENTS you. If you have to go out into your car, turn up the stereo to some really grungy, heavy metal thumping type music, and just scream, who cares if anyone sees you? At least you don't have to kill anyone or lose friends.

Also buy a punching bag. And some bag gloves. I did and it worked WONDERS because my temper was spiralling out of control. If you beat up an inanimate object, you'll feel way better.

So scream alot and hit something real hard.

As far as your heart being overstressed; maybe lay off that 2nd cup of coffee? I usually don't recommend this because coffee is my only key to Enlightenment most days, but it supposedly causes palpitations.

As far as peeing too much, hey at least in the bathroom, no one will follow you in there, and usually there's no stress while you're on the john. So, pee more.

I can sympathize & empathize, I've been at those breaking points, too.

Alot of times I think we tend to be our own worst enemy...by that I mean putting so much pressure on ourselves. I have these same problems myself and I'm trying to work through them. First off, it might help to get an organizer or planner to help you organize what needs to be done.

Then what I have done is given everything I need to do a priority number

#1 urgent
#2 ASAP
#3 low priorty

and most importantly...take time for yourself (I know sometimes easier said than done) but try and go out into nature or read a book...or my fav a big bubble bath.

Candie, I just want to put in my 2 cents here. You have to slow down and realize nothing good and nothing bad lasts forever, so just remember, this stress that your feeling will turn itself around......but in the meantime, i agree with Susan......it's just not worth it. Do what you can do and don't worry about the rest. As for the family matters, I hope they resolve themselves too. My job and the people that work here mean nothing to me in the grand scheme of life, but my family, now that's a different story.

I would take a moment to remember that it is not your problem that you are short staffed. Its managements. Are they trying to do more work with less people to save money?? Do they really know the situation. You can only do so much and if everyone is stressed its not good for anyone. Are you taking to many classes now???Could you drop one or discuss the siutation with your teachers. To me it sounds like your current job isn't going to be the job you will be at forever. Maybe you could remind yourself of that. I would take a note from Oprah. You come 1st and you won't be good to anyone if you aren't in good health. Can you try to make yourself a priority even if its only say 15 minutes in the morning to sit and enjoy that cup of coffee and the kitties.
I can only hope that all the stuff going on in your life improves . I hope for the best.

Thanks everyone. I'll try to slow down, it's just hard taking 4 classes, working 50 hours a week and doing an internship. I have to take these classes or I won't graduate in May. I have to work, or I won't eat. My family problems are so stressful, and my family is my rock, I think that's my problem. Something really bad has happened to a cousin of mine that has progressly gotten worse over the years. He's in jail now, and the family is telling lies and secrets and I can't take it anymore. I don't like talking to that side of the family. I feel like I am going to break at every little chance that comes around....I've tried to exercise, I don't have the energy to though. I don't want to. I don't want to wake up in the morning. And, the worst part is, I am not myself anymore. I am also having problems inside my own household, I just can't take any of this anymore.

P.S. Starbucks sounds good right bout now

I don't have any advice. You're a strong person for putting up with all of this. It doesn't seem like you have time to look for another job, but maybe you can start saving as much as you can, and set a date for things to be better by and if they're not, quit. I mean, you can't keep doing this. How much longer can you take it? 6 months? 6 years? Maybe you're planning on getting a new job when you graduate in May, I don't know, but if you are then keep thinking about it and telling yourself it'll be over soon. Don't try to do what you can't. Do things slowly but efficiently. Maybe if you tell your bosses how this is all effecting you, they will try to help out in some way.

I hope things get better for you soon!

Originally Posted by Purr

I don't have any advice. You're a strong person for putting up with all of this. It doesn't seem like you have time to look for another job, but maybe you can start saving as much as you can, and set a date for things to be better by and if they're not, quit. I mean, you can't keep doing this. How much longer can you take it? 6 months? 6 years? Maybe you're planning on getting a new job when you graduate in May, I don't know, but if you are then keep thinking about it and telling yourself it'll be over soon. Don't try to do what you can't. Do things slowly but efficiently. Maybe if you tell your bosses how this is all effecting you, they will try to help out in some way.

I hope things get better for you soon!

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I'll be teaching next school year. I will be done with school and with this place. My boss already knows, he goes through the same stress when he is here. I just work with hard-headed people. I stopped taking calls from people in the office in the last 10 minutes. Now, if I can only find time to write that paper and read another 70 pages before I go home in 1 1/2 hours.

From a wise woman....


I love you. Just hang in there. Sometimes we get thrown a curve and we are expected to hang in there. But it all comes out in the end. PRAY MORE!!!

GOD HELPS YOU!!!

MOM



I do love you!!!!

You have had wonderful replies, my only suggestion is that you address the at rest tachycardia..be sure this isn't impacting your health. Please...and make sure you mention the change in frequency of urination as well.

Oh Candie, like your Mum said Hang in there. You're such a strong person, definitly somebody I look up to here at TCS! ya!! You know it!!

Mums know best Candie!!

Thank you everyone...our family will have to work out everything...I realize no family is perfect. I left the office as soon as I could this afternoon...came home walked Watson, left and got a really relaxing spa treatment. After that, I did go to Starbucks and got a Passion Tea Lemonade, and when I got home Zack and I went to dinner. It's been a perfect evening. Thanks! On my way, I was thinking about you guys...I come on here when I am the happiest and when I am really down. You are all so very important to me, and I know you all care so much! I've decided to sit down with my mother and really ask her thoughts on some of our family issues. And, I know things will get better each day as my graduation draws closer and closer. It's May 7th!

Originally Posted by WellingtonCats

Oh Candie, like your Mum said Hang in there. You're such a strong person, definitly somebody I look up to here at TCS!

ya!! You know it!!

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Love ya too! That means a lot to me, Sam...more than you know!

You've received such wonderful replies, Candie. Just want you to know I'm praying for you! Sierra, Serenity, and I send lots of snuggly hugs to you!

Wow ! You are overloaded! It's impossible to do anything if your concentration is constantly being interrupted by the phone. If you want to stay in your job, then you have received some excellent advice here. Look after yourself first!

I heard something once on the radio, that I thought was great and is something good to remember throughout your working life... When it's all said and done and you are at the end of your life, no one ever remembers you for the overtime and the time spent on your career. Your tombstone will not say "Here lies Candie, she worked really, really hard" I always kept that in the back of my mind because it is so true.

As far as your family, you are doing well just to steer clear of it. You have your own stresses to worry about. Take care!

I understand all the stress. I've had experience with that many times through my life! As far as the fast heart rate at night, I agree with Pat. Coffee, tea and caffienated drinks will greatly increase your heart rate. I have CHF and most of the time my blood pressure and heart rate are way up so I really have to watch those things. Also green tea is really bad to drink if you are having trouble with BP or pulse. (otherwise it's normally a good thing). Another thing that helps stress and heart rate is cardiovascular excersise. I know you are stretched on time as it is. But sometimes we just have to make time for things like that and take care of ourselves. Have you considered finding a different job? Sometimes it isn't realistic but it's a thought.

Candie, I am so sorry! I know it wasn't that bad when we last spoke. I want you to think about changing jobs - and I think you should if your quality of life is being compromised every day. Once in awhile is ok, but if you find it hard to get in touch with yourself, as in: no time to relax at all, constant irritability, fealing like you're on a treadmill every day, headaches and body aches, getting sick for no reason, broken sleep, and no time to be with your pets and Zack, then MAKE a change. You know I'm a recruiter for a national firm, and I have done resumes for a number of people on this site. I do have some contacts in Houston, one of the best recruiters around and Penny specializes in admin support which you do, so send me a PM or send an IM and we can connect. Just letting you know I am here with some viable professional options, in case you want to explore them or talk to a local person in employment. xo
-E.