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Young, free and single!!

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
Is it wierd to be single? I find that my female friends are constantly trying to set me up on dates, and most men seem to think single = desperate and therefore assume I'm and sure bet! No one seems to believe me when I say I'm happy as I am

Is it still odd in this day and age to prefer to be single? Do you look at single people and assume they're on their own because they can't get a man, or do feel sorry for them?

I love my independance. I like knowing that my home is my own, no one can kick me out (except the mortgage company!), no one makes a mess and expects me to clear it up (except the kitties!), I have no one to answer to if I stay out late, or if I stay in bed the whole day. I earn my own money and spend what I want.

Things have changed so much from 50 years ago when women needed a man to support them, and yet society still seems to look down on singletons. Why??
post #2 of 23
Good for you!!, what a wonderful attitude you have and I couldn't agree more. I think it's very important to be able to be an independant woman without a man.
post #3 of 23
Clare take it from one who's lived on her own now for two years, I LOVE IT!!!

Like you i have my own house, own money, can spend it when i want, on what i want, i don't have to explain where i've been, who i've been with or what i've been doing!.

So no i don't find it odd at all, in fact when i hear the next saga of 2 of my friends relationships it makes me pleased that i am single.

As long as you have good friends thats the important thing i think.

Right, who's for a girly holiday?!
post #4 of 23
I know what you mean. Being single sure has its advantages!!

My mistake is that I went directly from living with my parents to living with my boyfriend. Since it was such an improvement (I couldn't stand my parents!) I thought it was as good as it gets. Then about a year ago, we broke up and I ended up on my own. Wow!! That is so much better! I've been happier, doing all the things I want to do and I'm actually a much better student now.

I don't necessarily want to be single all my life, but now that I know how good it is, I'll be a lot fussier about men. Unless a man can make things better than they are now (which isn't gonna be easy) he's out! No more of that "dating just about anyone who's interested" for me

I think being happily single is a very healthy thing.
post #5 of 23
Ohhh I am in the single club too - have been for the past 4 years... AND I love it

I have my own flat, my own money, my own cat and I can do what I want when I want to!! If I want to paint the walls bright purple then I can. If I want to walk about naked then I can

I really do like being on my own. I suppose I miss the company of a partner but it really isn't the main issue. If someone came along I really wouldn't or couldn't share my space because I love it to bits!

I have had 2 weddings this year of school friends and another 3 friends got married a few years ago. So 5 school friends are married, one is living with her girlfriend. Out of all my friends I am the only single one... so it can get like when I went to the weddings I felt so left out, like the odd one out. But I am proud of what I have done and have achieved being on my own.

I can decorate, put up shelves and my recent project has been putting up coving on my bedroom ceiling!...

Yay for girl power!
post #6 of 23
I have an ENORMOUS amount of respect for any woman who is single and loving it. It shows you have self-confidence, interests and hobbies of your own, and an overall healthy view of life.
Clare, you deserve a big YOU GO GIRL for this thread!
post #7 of 23
post #8 of 23
Me and my partner have just recently split (last week actually). Already im loving it. I dont have to answer to anyone but me and I seem to have alot more energy and the house seems much cleaner (even with the 3 kids 2 dogs 1 cat and 3 kittens) I just hope it stays this way as can see myself feeling rather lonely sooner or later but im going to try not to worry about it and hopefully that wont happen . im just enjoying the peace and quiet and being able to do what i want when I want for now. So I dont think theres anything wrong with being single and think its rather silly of those that stay in a relationship thats wrong rather than be alone.
post #9 of 23
Quote:
Is it wierd to be single?
Certainly not! I certainly never expected to be married, it just sort of ... happened ... and I was 29 when I did get married. But then it was the norm with my circle of friends to be single and no one tried to set anybody up. Apparently there just wasn't anybody with the "matchmaking" gene in their make-up LOL in my group. I did have to tell a couple of guys to b*gger off (nicely) as I wasn't interested.

Just tell 'em you're happy as you are thank-you-very-much!
post #10 of 23
Thread Starter 
Awww thanks to you all!!

Not feeling like such a weirdo now


Susan I know what you mean about friends sagas! I have two friends who talk constantly about their trials and tribulations when we go out, and it really makes me glad I don't have the hassle!

I do miss not having someone to go places with sometimes, but like Gilly said I just love my own space. I can't imagine sharing my flat with another human, I think I'd go crazy! And if we sold up and moved somewhere bigger, then I'd have lost my independance, and if we split I'd never be able to afford to buy again with the way the housing market is. Lots of people think this is a very pessamistic view, but it's also practical in my opinion. I don't know, maybe i'm just too selfish!
post #11 of 23
I'll start by saying I love my husband to bits. He's been one of the best things in my life, BUT if anything ever happened to him or our relationship, I would NEVER get married again.

I have been cleaning for, cooking for, cleaning up after people my whole life, actually since I was 12 yrs. old as I had a sick mom and there was nobody else to do the work on our farm. I was the only daughter so I got to do the cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, etc., etc.

Well let me tell you, I could really enjoy being alone and cooking when I wanted to, cleaning and having it stay clean for more than an hour. I have two very special female friends, one a widow and the other thinking about striking out on her own in the near future so I don't think loneliness would be an issue. In fact the 3 of us are off next week for 4 days of golf.
post #12 of 23
Good for you Linda because i think it's important for everyone to have some quality time.
post #13 of 23
Well I'm young, free & single, but I do have a boyfriend who totally wants to change that (the SINGLE part, anyway... he still wants me to be young & free). He's all-ready for marriage and has been talking non-stop about it but I told him there's a reason why I'm where I'm at, and I'm not budging (re: singleness).

I am set in my ways; I own my own home and yeah, only the mortgage company can kick me out. I prefer "the single life" as far as SUPPORTING myself. I will never ever never ever EVER depend on a man again for money. Lord what an awful feeling that was.

I don't get lonely and certainly don't get bored with a kid, 6 cats, and that freaking house of mine to take care of & work on. Oh and working 2 jobs. I hardly had *time* for a boyfriend but I'm happy to say I have one now.

Yeah there is a bit of a stigma with being single; I dated around here and there after "the big break up" a year ago, but ditched people off like garbage if they got too close. After a while I did get sick of pushing people away. So here comes Mr. Nice Guy, and I'm letting this one in.

However the thought of living with a man again really makes me feel pukey, mainly cuz, In MY Experience, men are so used to having a woman (Mother, Ex-Wife, or even their own Children!) clean up after them, do their laundry, pick up their socks, pick up their crushed beer cans from the sofa. Yadda Yadda Yadda, until I beat it into the boyfriend's head, I'm not shacking up with ANYONE til I'm sure I'm not going to become a freaking maid again.

Yah the single life rules!!! I am my own boss, and I let everyone around me know it!

So you go girl, welcome to the single life. If ya date again anytime soon, let your stance be known. It surely helps to let guys know where you stand on these issues. They'll respect ya more for it, too. Don't EVER be needy.
post #14 of 23
Thread Starter 
4 days of golf sounds wonderful!

It's amazing that there's so many people who try and set me up on dates, yet many of those same people will say that if they got divorced/widowed they'd never marry again (and a few even say if they had their time over again, they'd never marry in the first place!)
post #15 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by rosiemac
Good for you Linda because i think it's important for everyone to have some quality time.
The funniest part of this is that not one of our husbands likes to golf, just us ladies and we've been going away for a 3-4 day weekend since our children were about 2 years old and leaving the husbands to look after them. We've been lucky to have awesome husbands.
post #16 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Purity
I love my independance. I like knowing that my home is my own, no one can kick me out (except the mortgage company!), no one makes a mess and expects me to clear it up (except the kitties!), I have no one to answer to if I stay out late, or if I stay in bed the whole day. I earn my own money and spend what I want.
Sounds perfect to me!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ugaimes
I have an ENORMOUS amount of respect for any woman who is single and loving it. It shows you have self-confidence, interests and hobbies of your own, and an overall healthy view of life.
Clare, you deserve a big YOU GO GIRL for this thread!
post #17 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Purity

It's amazing that there's so many people who try and set me up on dates, yet many of those same people will say that if they got divorced/widowed they'd never marry again (and a few even say if they had their time over again, they'd never marry in the first place!)
I run into the same thing. It always has me scratching my head. I like being single, I infact love it and have no plans to change my status anytime soon. But unfailingly I have people try and set me up. I have the sneaking suspicion though if I was looking suddenly they wouldn't have anyone available for me.
post #18 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by ugaimes
Clare, you deserve a big YOU GO GIRL for this thread!
.... ......
post #19 of 23
I think its natural for people to automatically try to fix their friends up...i've been guilty a few times in my life time of doing that! lol but i dont think its weird being single...all that matters is that you're happy!
post #20 of 23
I've been single for two years and it's been quite possibly the best years of my life! Not only due to the amount of fun I've had, but also the level of understanding I have of myself and all the things I've learned about myself. I've always been a romantic, fairy-tale-loving princess, so I do wish I had a Prince Charming once in a while because I miss waking up next to someone and just being soooo happy he's there. I love being in love! I still love being single and it's not like I haven't had the option to not be single.

There's a song called "Single" by Natasha Bedingfield that I love. I think it's the single girl's anthem. The lyrics are:

Ah yeah that's right
All you single people out there
This is for you

I'm not waitin' around for a man to save me
(Cos I'm happy where I am)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me
(No no)
I don't need to be anyone's baby
(Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don't need another half to make me whole

Make your move if you want
doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up
you either got it or you don't

[Chorus:]
This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant

I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be
I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be

Ah yeah Uh Huh that's right

Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good
(I like who I am)
I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love 'cos I would
I'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cos you say I should
(Can't romance on demand)
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood

[Repeat Chorus]

Everything in it's right time everything in it's right place
I know I'll settle down one day
But 'til then I like it this way it's my way
Eh I like it this way

Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't
'Til then I'm single

This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant
post #21 of 23
WOW...it is so nice to see in writing that I am not alone in my thinking and living! I am single, happy and the proud owner of a new home. The number of people who's jaw has dropped when i said i bought the house alone...i could just kick them. I am definitely someone who values her alone time and personal space (though the two furbabies don't count....they get to stay forever!).

Good on all of you (all of us!)!!
post #22 of 23
I love my husband. I've never met another man like him. I truly don't think I ever will again ... he's really one of a kind. But I loved being single; he's the only one who could have talked me out of it.
post #23 of 23
Nope...you are not odd at all. Nothing wrong with being single and loving it. Even though I`ve been married for almost 40 years and would`nt change it for anything...I have a 51 year old sister (4 years my junior)who has never been married CAUSE she did`nt want to be, not cuase she was`nt asked. She`s perfactly happy living with her 3 cats, in her own little house, and coming and going as she pleases....I would`nt dream of trying to "set her up " with a guy....if she ever decides she wants one she`ll get one all by herself.
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