TheCatSite.com › Forums › Our Feline Companions › Cat Behavior › Why isn't my cuddly kitten cuddly anymore?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Why isn't my cuddly kitten cuddly anymore?

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
My little Jasmine, now about 12 or 13 weeks old, was sooo cuddly and sweet when we got her, she was about 8 weeks old at the time, with problems like earmites, worms, fleas, cold and undernurished. She was a sweetheart, always purring. She's now healthy. She still is sweet and purrs alot, but doesn't hardly want to be held anymore, and doesn't want to cuddle much. She plays a bit with our other kitten, they get along real well. Jasmine is very social, but just doesn't want to be touched much. She's active and seems healthy. Very curious.

If she lays down to snooze or just to rest and look at what's going on, she will mostly move away if I start petting her. She just doesn't want to, and it breaks my heart!

What happened to my little sweetie pie??? Is it her age, or is it personality? Does this mean she probably won't be cuddly as an adult either? She is so pretty, soft and so nice and sweet, I just want to hold her and cuddle her...
Is there anything I can do?

I am home a lot, but don't really play with her that much now that we've got another kitten, cause they play with each other so much. But I always talk to her and offer my affection if she wants it. Now and then she becomes reallly cuddly, but it doesn't happen often and doesn't last long.
post #2 of 19
I have had several cats throughout my life and believe me, they can go through stages. I imagine that your little kitty is getting ready or is in a very busy time in her life. They have "too much to see and too much to do" to be bothered with petting and cuddling. Megan is still this way and she is almost 18 mos old now. Some kitties are just that way, though, I only have one true cuddler in my family right now. It's O.K. - they still love you If you try to force hold them so you can cuddle, it only makes matters worse, but I bet after she cuddles again. I would expect that she will calm down a little after she is spayed.

Have you posted pictures of Jasmine? I can't remember seeing her picture.
post #3 of 19
Thread Starter 
http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=62096
I'm not sure if this works, but here is a "link" to a post with pics of my kitties.
By the way, do you think the white kitten, Senja, is a Siamese mix? Her mother is a domestic tabby and white.
post #4 of 19
I read a story about a dog that two children 'adopted' from the street. It was all scarred up, and had obviously had a hard life. The children took food and water to the place where the dog made its home for weeks. The dog loved the children, but it seemed to not have much energy.

The childrens' mother eventually ended up taking the poor dog to the vet, and it had some medical problems... antibiotics and a few other treatments cleared them up quickly, though.

Two days later, the dog attacked one of the children. Why did the previously sweet dog turn on the children who had been feeding and caring for it for weeks? Because it was from a dog-fighting ring, and the only reason that it had been so 'sweet' is that it was too sick to attack.


I'm not saying that your kitty is mean, but that animals behaved differently when they're sick than when they're well. I can't tell you if she'll become a lap kitty again, but sick animals do seem to be very affectionate.
post #5 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by GirlieQ
I'm not saying that your kitty is mean, but that animals behaved differently when they're sick than when they're well. I can't tell you if she'll become a lap kitty again, but sick animals do seem to be very affectionate.
Very true, Max was a lot more cuddly when he was slightly under the weather (due to horried worms!)

Mind you, neither of mine are lap cats at the moment. They come for the occassional cuddle, but mostly they just want a bit of loving, then they wander off to lay down close by. They may change when they get older (not even 5 months old yet) and after they are neutered, but if they don't then I don't mind! I'd love a cuddle kitten, but that in no way diminishes how much I love the two I have! Some cats just aren't as cuddly, but as captiva already said, doesn't mean they don't love you
post #6 of 19
My Toby, who will be a year old in a week, was also very cuddly when he was a tiny kitten....then when we got our second kitten, Tedy, this spring....and when they became BEST BUDS....he stopped wanting so much human attention. (In fact , even though Tedy seems to need more petting, they both prefer each other) However I have found times that they love to be petted, even though they are neither one "lap cats'.
If I try to give them attention when they are busy playing with each other they will usually slink away from my touch (too busy for me I guess)....but if I wait a bit till they are tired out and ready to groom and nap...then they`ll even roll over for me to pet their tummys..and at that time they will even lick thier own paws while i`m petting. (I think that is suppoed to be their way of telling me that they are content with the affection.)
On occassion one or both of them will decide to settle down on me or my hubby for a nap in the recliner...and we both feel "honored" and will GLOAT to the other one about having the kitty`s attention. He he he
I have been told by other people who have cats, that sometimes they become more affectionate during the winter months....and when they get a bit older and don`t need to play as much. I`m waiting yet to find out if that is true.
Anyone else out there experience this???
post #7 of 19
My cats aren't cuddlers either.
But she is young, as they get older, they can get a lot more affectionate. She is probably just going trough a teenage stage. What teenager is cuddly?
post #8 of 19
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by elizwithcat
My cats aren't cuddlers either.
But she is young, as they get older, they can get a lot more affectionate. She is probably just going trough a teenage stage. What teenager is cuddly?
Good point!

This all makes sense, all though I still have my hopes up... At the very least she is very social, which I love, and my other kitten is seeming to be more of a lap cat, so that helps too.
Thank's for any and all input!
post #9 of 19
give her some time, it could be just a stage.
when I got Luna she was Earmites and milk worms galore. GirlieQ is right though, cats act very different from when they are sick versus well. She still likes her space and her privacy, but she comes back for cuddles every now and then. She probably won't be 100% cuddles again, but I'll take what I can get.
post #10 of 19


My Tinkerbell, before she became FINALLY my own baby, used to head butt me. Now she doesn't anymore, sniff. She does, however, tend to wake me up at 3am flopping her fluffy little butt right up next to me as if to say "Ok, NOW you can shower me with cuddles".

I wonder why she stopped head butting me? Is it a phase she's going through? We found out by the vet that she is 5 months old. She is going to get spayed in November. And even though my family says to get her declawed, I'm not going to. She is purrfectly fine how she is.

Hopefully your cat will come around! Hugs!
post #11 of 19
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by TinksMom
:Hopefully your cat will come around! Hugs!
Thank's! Well, I hope so too, but even if she doesn't, I'll always love her. She is such a wonderful cat even if she doesn't cuddle, she is very special. And it's a good feeling to have saved a cat from a lot of misery; who knows, she could have been put down if she had stayed at that shelter. Only 30% of their cats find new homes, the rest will be put to sleep... SOOO sad!

Anyway, I am learning about Jasmine what she likes and what she doesn't, and I will not force my affection on her if she doesn't want to. Instead I'll talk to her and just keep her company, and maybe touch her cheek a little and her paw tip, and then let her be; and she will then be happy with that attention. I guess I'm concluding that real love is the loving that they appreciate, not just how we feel like showing it.... KWIM?
post #12 of 19
Thread Starter 
Good for you, TinksMom! I used to think I was the only one who was against this terrible practice, but then I met all of you! I am Native Norwegian and over there it is not done at all. I had never heard of anyone doing that until I came here, and I couldn't believe it!
I now keep telling people about what is actually done, but some still want it done... Sad!
post #13 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by captiva
I have had several cats throughout my life and believe me, they can go through stages. I imagine that your little kitty is getting ready or is in a very busy time in her life. They have "too much to see and too much to do" to be bothered with petting and cuddling. Megan is still this way and she is almost 18 mos old now. Some kitties are just that way, though, I only have one true cuddler in my family right now. It's O.K. - they still love you If you try to force hold them so you can cuddle, it only makes matters worse, but I bet after she cuddles again. I would expect that she will calm down a little after she is spayed.
post #14 of 19
I have found when a second cat is added, the two cats will form a special bond. The first cat will be more independant.
Hope this helps.
post #15 of 19
The temp has dropped quite a bit here in the last few days, and my boys have become cuddle kittens! They sleep on my pillow, and every time I sit down they jump on my lap and actually stay there. I may be nothing more than a glorified hot water bottle, but it's such a nice change
post #16 of 19
My Josie gets more cuddly during the winter. She loves it when I have fleece pants on and she's right up in my lap.
post #17 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by TinksMom


My Tinkerbell, before she became FINALLY my own baby, used to head butt me. Now she doesn't anymore, sniff. She does, however, tend to wake me up at 3am flopping her fluffy little butt right up next to me as if to say "Ok, NOW you can shower me with cuddles".
Sorry for the 'jack, but Cassie used to do that all the time with Charles...just flop on him and purr so loudly, it would wake both of us up!!!
post #18 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyViking
http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=62096
I'm not sure if this works, but here is a "link" to a post with pics of my kitties.
By the way, do you think the white kitten, Senja, is a Siamese mix? Her mother is a domestic tabby and white.
They are so cute!! Jasmine looks like a longer-haired version of our Sunny, and Senja sure looks a lot like Sunny's second "mama" did. Our babies were raised by two mama kitties. Sunny & Hobbes' birth mama, Soupie, didn't take much time at all to feed her babies, so her "sister", Sarah, took over and fed her own litter of four, as well as Sunny & Hobbes and their brother & sister. Sanja looks a lot like Sarah. WHAT CUTIES!!!
post #19 of 19
I think its a combination of being a teenager, and the warm weather. My furkids are 1-1/2 years old, and ever since it got real warm, they don't sit on my lap anymore! But when we get a cold dip, one or the other will climb on up!

Festie was born here, and handled since birth, cuddled upside down, etc. But she wants nothing to do with that now. However, she is the one to lay close to me, maybe a foot away, with her paws stretched towards me. That always makes me feel good.

I don't like winter much, but I am looking forward to having lap cats again.

I'm working on making my foster Sugartoes into a lap cat...she allows me to hold her and pet her, then as soon as I let go she walks off. She loves pets when sitting on the floor. But it is hard to adopt them out unless they are lap cats, so I'll keep encouraging her. She doesn't hate it, its almost as if she will allow it since I enjoy holding her. (Silly girl!)
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Cat Behavior
TheCatSite.com › Forums › Our Feline Companions › Cat Behavior › Why isn't my cuddly kitten cuddly anymore?