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Could do with some positive vibes

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
As many of you will know through reading other posts of mine, I have Bipolar Disorder. For the last ten years it has been pretty well controlled – I have been on a good medication regimen and have been well looked after by family, friends and a brilliant wonderful psychiatrist whom I really trust and like.

Lately, though, things seem to have been falling apart. I had a pretty bad manic episode at the end of last year after my girlfriend was suddenly killed in an accident (she was run over) and at that time I was doing a lot of crazy things and really putting myself in danger.

It settled down eventually and then I met Max, and since that time things have been running pretty smoothly except for the last two months when I just don’t know whether I’m coming or going, up or down, here or there, or whatever. I have been very non-compliant with my meds which is not like me, and I feel constantly as though I am just on the edge of sanity!

Everything seems out of control – work, money, my house is a mess, I’ve lost my license from some parking fine from a year ago I didn’t even know about, everything seems threatening to overwhelm and I’m not coping very well.

I’m sure it will pass, it always does, I need to just get back on my meds and relax and go see my doctor and communicate with people. I am just so frazzled and mentally disorganised sometimes its hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Anyway, not really sure why I’m writing all of this out but you guys are always so lovely and understanding and supportive and I just felt like sharing the load.

Thanks for listening.
post #2 of 15
I wish I had something I could say that would help make it all better, but unfortunately I don't. All I can say is that I'm thinking of ya and I hope things get better soon. I'm always here if you need to talk. Many good vibes to you
post #3 of 15
I'm so sorry that you have to deal with all of these problems...but you do have a very positive attitude about all of it. Just stick with it and of course you can always turn to us for a big hug!!
post #4 of 15
I'm so sorry...I wish I could do something to make things less overwhelming for you. Here are the biggest, bestest ::::positive vibes:::: I can send you!
post #5 of 15
You're not alone, even though you often feel that way. Sending you hugs and good vibes.
post #6 of 15
Hello, I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. You mention that everything seems out of control like your work, money and your house being a mess.

Make a list if things that you feel need "to be taken care of" to get things back on track. Then talk to a family member or friend and ask them to help you work through your list.

No one likes to clean house or work through a budget, but when you have someone to help, it is not as bad. EVERYONE feels overwhelmed sometimes and when that happens it helps to have someone around to help.
post #7 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thank you - you're right. I am a big list maker and doing that really does help me feel more in control of things.

I guess it's the loss of control that really bothers me - I am not a person who likes to feel like I'm just treading water in my life!
post #8 of 15
Sarah I am sorry...I hope you are ok....
I am not suffereing from any disorder....but my mother suffers from Bi polar and Skitzophrenia, so I can understand a bit about the inner struggle and pain that a person inflicted by Bi Polar Disorder can go through.....

My only advice....It wont last forever, things may seem hopeless now, but with the right meds, and right companionship I totally belive that you can get through this stronger then you were before........

It's great that you can talk openly about your feelings, most can't...you are already on the right track........

Again I hope reality starts making sence again soon, and if you ever need to talk my PM box is open....

Good vibes, well wishes, and happy thoughts heading your way
post #9 of 15
Sending you vibes, i wish you the best
post #10 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnicat
You're not alone, even though you often feel that way. Sending you hugs and good vibes.
.........you´re not alone Sarah...

Sending ((((((((good vibes)))))))))) to you!
post #11 of 15
Just take a deep breath.
Now, since you like lists-perhaps list what needs to be done at home, work money etc... cross a task off when done so you have a sense of accomplishment.
Don't be afraid to ask for help either.
What has changed in the past two months in your that have not kept you on track for the meds???
Just take one day at a time.
Hoping you feel better soon.
post #12 of 15
I know you will go back on your meds when you are ready. Right now, you need to take back control of your life and part of that process is making your own decisions on your own time.
{{{{{}}}}} Lots of calming and healing vibes coming your way!
post #13 of 15
I think, it was a very good idea of her (Sarah), to write it down and let us take part. All the best for you.
post #14 of 15
Sarah, I just caught this thread.

I know exactly what you're going through, as we've talked about it on PM before. If you would like to talk at any time, please send me a message -- my thoughts are with you and hope things will get back to a state of wellness for you real soon. Take care, be well, and plenty of positive recovery vibes are being sent your way.

And please, please, please go back on your meds -- there is nothing worse than falling into the depression that follows a manic episode.

Jenn
post #15 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by ugaimes
I know you will go back on your meds when you are ready. Right now, you need to take back control of your life and part of that process is making your own decisions on your own time.
{{{{{}}}}} Lots of calming and healing vibes coming your way!
I disagree. There is nothing worse than being off of medication when you have bipolar disorder.
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