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WOW what a long week! ~vent~

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 

Sorry I haven't posted alot. It's been rough getting settled in. I have been having problems with my "supposed" best friend across the street.
She's ALWAYS over here everyday, eating my food, drinking my soda, smoking my cigarettes and frankly, it's pissed me off..
Last week I offered to pay her $15/month if she let me use her washer and dryer to do laundry. At the time she was fine with it. A couple days later she came over here crying saying they dont have any food in the house and said instead of paying her the $15, to have me buy her like $100 in groceries off my food stamps... (yes I get food stamps, Im not working yet). That totally threw me for a loop. Of course I said no, I can't afford that even if I am on goverment assistance.I asked her last week if I could come over and do laundry and she told me I could but I would have to stay outside because her husband was off work and SHE not him, but SHE didn't want anyone over. :censor::censor::censor: Im not standing outside in 100 degree heat to do laundry! Then I started to come down with a cold and asked her for some advil for my headache, and she made the comment that she had it all last week. (She was over here the whole time with a cold?!) Then I am getting paid $50 by my landlord to put in my carpet, which is cool with me, I could use the money. She caught wind of it and wants to help me and split the money, so she can by face wash and make-up. (I thought she needed food?!) And Then today she came over here sat her happy ass in my house and criticized how hyper my 3 1/2 yr old is and how sweet, neat and clean her son is. I finally got fed up with it and told her "At least my son doesn't cry over a dirty look" She just laughed it off and I was being serious. My phone rang and it was my friend that helped me move asking me if I wanted to help him go pick up his new truck. She answered the phone like it was her house and called him a nasty name and handed me the phone. The only reason she came over was not to visit, or see me or the kids, but was to find out when I was doing the carpet so she can split it with me. I never offered to split it nor did I ask her to help in the first place. She got mad at me today because when she was over here I ignored her and stayed on the computer or phone the whole time, hoping she would leave.
Im getting very upset with her about all of this. She doesn't even call before she comes over and if my door isnt locked, she would walk right in w/o knocking first. So I make sure I lock my door at all times. I want SO bad to just go off on her and tell her how mad she has made me but she is the one who is going to be babysitting while I work for a couple weeks.
Oh I forgot! I told her I have a Dr. appointment wed morning and asked if she could watch my son for an hour or so and she told me she would "let me know" because her husband is off work, so I dont know if I can even rely on her to babysit while I work. She promised myself and my mom she would help with this and that when she found out I was moving but now it seems like the only way she will do anything is if I pay her or buy her food. I could understand if it was me bringing food for my son to eat while she watched him but its not.
I just dont know what to do. I have done everything but just lay into her and Im afraid Im just going to have to let her have it!
Does anyone have any advice on what I should do?
post #2 of 16
Doesn't she understand your financial situation??? To me it sounds like she is trying to take advantage of you. I would not do your laundry at her house either-what if the machine "breaks"?
I would set her down and explain your situation to her and she doesn't seem to understand.
post #3 of 16
I agree with what GailC said *nods*
post #4 of 16
This woman sounds like she is sucking you dry!, I would be having a serious sit down chat with her because she obviously doesn't get it.
post #5 of 16
Not much of a friend! If it were me I would tell her that I don't appreciate being used and that I don't want to friends wit her anymore.
post #6 of 16
Looks like you are between a rock and a hard place.

Is there a subsidized daycare that you could use while you work? First of all, I really wouldn't trust this woman with my child, especially since she's already been negative about him.

I agree with the person above that said what if the machine broke! She would demand you replace it since you broke it would be my guess.

How close is your mom to you and does she know of anyone who could help you out with babysitting until you get established and on your feet? Check out the local church - talk to the pastor about your situation and he may know of some church ladies that could help you get on your feet.

I agree with you keeping the door locked. If you don't want company, just don't answer the door when she comes - if she complains just tell her that you know she must understand you need your alone time for you and your son just like she doesn't want you there when her husband is home. Can't imagine what she would respond to that.

This isn't a friend dear, this is a bloodsucker. Break the ties that bind for your own good. You just got out of a bad situation, please take care that you don't get into another different kind of bad situation with her.

Prayers and hugs go to you that you will be able to resolve this situation to your advantage.
post #7 of 16
Thread Starter 
Yeah I think I am going to break all ties to her. After 15 yrs of friendship, it's come down to this. But then again, who needs enemies when you have friends like that.
Tonight after telling her many times that I didnt feel well and didint want company and that I wanted some alone time with my boys, she still came over.
She knocked on the door, and since I was waitng for my mom to bring me some cold medicine, I thought it was her and said "come in". Well it was "the mooch" I told her before she came in, I didnt want company. She said he was only going to stay for a min and that her son just wanted to see my sons. After about 20 mins I told her again, I thought it was time for her to go home. She made the comment "well your mom's coming over." I said yeah, thats my mom and she's bringing me cold meds too"
She left finally and it wasnt 15 mins later, she called. I told her mom was here and I would call her back... That was around 8:30 and since then she has called 4 times and messaged me on yahoo 3 times to which I just ignored until she made a comment of " what, are you too busy for me?" I responded with, " I feel awful Im laying down"
She said "well fine, bye" and logged off.
It upsets me because for the first time in my life I am living by myself, with my kids w/o a husband or boyfriend and Im not really able to do it because she's always here! So I think after Im over this cold I am going to sit her down and tell her how it is.
It's not wonder I was her only friend, look how she does people..
post #8 of 16
That's an awful position to be in! If I were you, I'd make sure you had facilities and/or money to do laundry, and someone to watch your children before you burn that bridge because at this point, it seems like you need her as much as she needs you. It's sad to lose a friend after 15 years. Maybe y'all just have different ideas of what friendship is, and how close you are to each other. Well, the bright side is that when you start working you'll meet new people!
post #9 of 16
I would find an alternate location to do your laundy and tell her politely that it upsets you that she is rude in your home (answering the phone - if anyone did that in my house, they would hear about it right then and there! Even my housekeeper won;t do it even when I am not there) and could she please not do that? I think you need to gradually find friends who are true to you. If she is truly needy, it would be one thing - but she is still really obnocious and that needs to be challenged regardless of her financial situation - but it seems like she is taking advantage of you. She has no sense if she gave you a cold and then brings her own children to visit you when you are ill!! And sne needs to be told that too - in some polite way, like reminding her colds are contagious!

Good luck!!! Do you have any relatives or other friends who can assit you with daycare or are there social service agencies that could help you with it?
post #10 of 16
This is another one I would cut out of my life. And I would tell her don't let the door hit ya in the butt on the way out!
post #11 of 16
A lot of TCS'ers are being taken for a ride ATM.
post #12 of 16
It sounds like you have a "psychic vampire" too. I am in the process of cutting out 2 people that are using me and thinking nothing of it, like it is their right. I hope you can work it out like you need and want it to be. Good luck!
post #13 of 16
did i just misread something
Didnt you just say that her husband was working? If so that means he is getting an income right?
I am sorry that you have to put up with it, It is a mistake to move too close to family and friends
post #14 of 16
Thread Starter 
Yes, she has a husband who works for a rather well known electronics store and is a manager. Thats what baffles me about the whole thing, he makes GOOD money so why is she mooching off me?
Maybe he doesn't give her money because he knows she will spend it on stupid trivial things instead of the essentials?
post #15 of 16
Thread Starter 
OMG! First thing this morning, before I even had my coffee, she calls and asks "hey can I come steal a cup of coffee from ya?"
I told her "sorry, Im out myself"....GOD this is too much
post #16 of 16
Next time she calls or comes over, tell her that she has her own food, phone, and child accross the street that need tending, and you're doing rather well withyour own food, phone and child without her "help" If someone answered my phone like they were at my house, I'd garotte them with the cord, darnit!
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