A friend just sent this in an e-mail, and I thought I'd share it
>>GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
>>1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
>>2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
>>3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
>>second person.
>>4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
>>5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
>>6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
>>7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
>>8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
>>9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
>>10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
>>
>>
>>
>>GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
>>1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
>>2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
>>3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
>>4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
>>5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
>>6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
>>
>>
>>
>>GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
>>1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
>>2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
>>3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
>>there.
>>4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
>>chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
>>5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
>>ask you the questions.
>>6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
>>7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
>>
>>
>>
>>THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
>>
>>1) You believe in Santa Claus.
>>2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
>>3) You are Santa Claus.
>>4) You look like Santa Claus.
>>
>>
>>
>>SUCCESS:
>>
>>At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
>>At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
>>At age 16 success is . having a drivers license.
>>At age 35 success is . . . having money.
>>At age 50 success is . . having money.
>>At age 70 success is . . having a drivers license.
>>At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
>>At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.
>>
>>
>>Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.
>>
>>Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER
>>forget the blessings that come each day.
>>
>>Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Take the time to live!!!
>>GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
>>1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
>>2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
>>3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
>>second person.
>>4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
>>5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
>>6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
>>7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
>>8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
>>9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
>>10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
>>
>>
>>
>>GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
>>1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
>>2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
>>3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
>>4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
>>5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
>>6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
>>
>>
>>
>>GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
>>1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
>>2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
>>3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
>>there.
>>4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
>>chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
>>5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to
>>ask you the questions.
>>6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
>>7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
>>
>>
>>
>>THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
>>
>>1) You believe in Santa Claus.
>>2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
>>3) You are Santa Claus.
>>4) You look like Santa Claus.
>>
>>
>>
>>SUCCESS:
>>
>>At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
>>At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
>>At age 16 success is . having a drivers license.
>>At age 35 success is . . . having money.
>>At age 50 success is . . having money.
>>At age 70 success is . . having a drivers license.
>>At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
>>At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.
>>
>>
>>Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.
>>
>>Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER
>>forget the blessings that come each day.
>>
>>Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Take the time to live!!!
