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post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
Ookay so I know you guys hear about this all the time from me. But anyway I'm just gonna lay it out..

Last time I was on I told you guys that I was going with a guy from california. Well one night his mom told me he had a girlfriend in washington and that he'd been with her for 9 months. I told her to give Brett the message that it's over and hung up with her. That same night my friend had hooked me up with someone I had liked for a long time named Alex. Alex made me REALLY happy I mean REALLY happy I had fun with him and better yet he lives in Michigan!! Well tonight I was on the phone with Brett and he was telling me his mom is all messed up in the head and everything. I told him I had found someone new and he took it REALLY BAD!! He was telling me he was gonna give up everything including his music and that he was just gonna go in the military even though he really doesn't want to and all sorts of stuff!! At the same time I was talking to Alex and telling him all this and Alex was telling me to just go back with Brett because Alex plans on going to college and yeeeeah!! Brett was telling me to stay with Alex because "I deserve him more." I don't know what to do I'm getting totally confused!! I mean sure Alex makes me really happy but I don't want to be the cause of someone's suicide!!
post #2 of 19
The bottom line really is that it's not worth getting this worked up over people you have never met face to face.

Trust me, chances are remote that someone is going to commit suicide over this.
post #3 of 19
You had a boyfriend for 9 months that you never saw? I must be old-fashioned because I can't understand why you wouldn't want someone closer to home that you could go out with and do things with.
post #4 of 19
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite
You had a boyfriend for 9 months that you never saw? I must be old-fashioned because I can't understand why you wouldn't want someone closer to home that you could go out with and do things with.
No he had a girlfriend for 9 months apparently..I don't know I'm confused by it.
post #5 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite
You had a boyfriend for 9 months that you never saw? I must be old-fashioned because I can't understand why you wouldn't want someone closer to home that you could go out with and do things with.
As the parent of a teenage daughter, 'going out and doing things with' keeps me up nights.......
post #6 of 19
I agree with Deb. I had a "boyfriend" online years ago. Never met face to face. we still talk on occassion but...yeah he comment he would do himself in several times. never did. Take it with a grain of salt its a tactic to play on your emotions.
post #7 of 19
I would try to find someone who lives closer to you. These internet things can get funky.. sometimes they do work out though. The first guy- either he or is mom is pretty screwed up, and trust me, if you end up with him, his mom is part of your life forever. If you can't find someone close you could try an internet dating sight and find some you can meet, etc.
post #8 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScamperFarms
I agree with Deb. I had a "boyfriend" online years ago. Never met face to face. we still talk on occassion but...yeah he comment he would do himself in several times. never did. Take it with a grain of salt its a tactic to play on your emotions.
BINGO!! He's playing with you to keep you (and goodness knows how many other girls, along with the 9 month girlfriend in Washington or where ever) stringing along. I would bet his mother was telling you the truth, because she is seeing what a cad her son is.
post #9 of 19
Yup Yup. There are guys out there who string you along there are guys who pretend to be girls...GIRLS who pretend to be guys..theres all sorts out there.
post #10 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScamperFarms
Yup Yup. There are guys out there who string you along there are guys who pretend to be girls...GIRLS who pretend to be guys..theres all sorts out there.
And you, Lil Axl, are way TOO GOOD for this sort of nonsense!
post #11 of 19
Why do young girls think they need boyfriends? What not have the most important person in your life be YOU?



I really mean this only in a positive way...please don't take it wrong.

IMO....You seem to be pretty hung up on the whole "boyfriend" thing. You really need to start understanding who you are as a person and not see yourself as someones girlfriend. Look into yourself and realize you are too good for this. At least I think you are too good for this. (From what I have read on this board that you have typed so far.)

Bobbie
post #12 of 19
I don't want to be judgemental, but I think Brett sounds like he has issues (and if his mom was lying, you know where he gets them from) and that's definately not the type of guy you want to waste your time on. A long time ago, I was dating these two guys and it came to the point where I had to choose one of them. They were actually roommates, but I didn't know till I had already gone out with both of them a couple times, but that's beside the point. One of them told me if I didn't choose him, he was going to kill himself. Actually, he told the other guy (they were friends) and that guy told me. So I thought, "wow, he must really like me!" No, he was just nuts!

Besides that, I know now that if you're having trouble choosing between two guys, neither one of them is right for you. As for Alex, if he was that interested he'd never tell you to just go back to Brett--he'd fight to keep you!

If you get yourself the booked titled "He's Just Not That Into You" you'll save yourself a lot of trouble. You deserve better and you're worth more. Just be patient!
post #13 of 19
Bobbie said it for me- be happy with who you are inside. You do not need a boy to complete you- and if you aren't happy with who you are, set about changing YOU. Get a hobby, get out and meet real people. For pity's sake, where is your mom in all of this? Does she know that you fall for all these guys, set yourself up to get hurt and then can't function?
post #14 of 19
I just don't get how people get off over Online relationships. It's so pointless to me!?

Just forget both of them, they sound like jerks. That's JMO.
post #15 of 19
I think you are too young to be worrying about a guy right now. I had a boyfriend from the age of 14-17 and I regret it a lot - I missed out on so much of my teenage years because he was so possessive, I was not allowed to hang out with my girlfriends because he thought I would meet someone else - he even accused me of dating someone behind his back when I went to the movies with a girlfriend and she had her boyfriend along as well as some other female friends (this boyfriend was the only guy there) and so he quit his job just so he could keep his eye on me. Was it really worth it? No! My mother told me he is still not working and racing cars in the street - and hes 2 years older than me!!!!! Hes pathetic!

I did date guys after him but I never felt that spark and so being in a relationship was not important to me, so I decided to focus on myself and not focus on looking for a guy - I built myself up, I got involved in campus groups, became a president of a disability action group, and so on. ALl that stuff helped me to grow as a person. A boy doesn't do that. I was single for 5 years before I met Jake - I was not in a hurry and I am glad I waited. He is a wonderful guy and he means the world to me. Yes I met him online but we met in a reputable chatroom that is for deaf people and the deaf community is so small that everyone practically knows each other LOL (which is why its not worth having secrets from them! )

But my point is, you should be getting out there, forgetting about boys and focusing on building yourself as a person. Join groups, try and forget about the internet for a while, get out there while its still summer, call up a girlfriend and say you wanna do something together. Life is short and it should not be wasted on stupid boys who are ruled by their hormones.
post #16 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by Purr

Besides that, I know now that if you're having trouble choosing between two guys, neither one of them is right for you. As for Alex, if he was that interested he'd never tell you to just go back to Brett--he'd fight to keep you!
Exactly what I was thinking.

Get out and join a group or something that you're interested in. Meet people just for the joy of meeting people, not specifically to meet a boyfriend. They say you meet someone special when you're not looking, and that's so true. Concentrate on you and the rest will fall into place.
post #17 of 19
I know we don't know each other really, but I think you should just forget about these guys and focus on making more friends at school (something I believe you said you were trying to do in a previous post). One good girl friend is worth more than a boyfriend at your age. Plus from my experience you usually meet guys when you're not really looking for them!
post #18 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by milopixie
I know we don't know each other really, but I think you should just forget about these guys and focus on making more friends at school (something I believe you said you were trying to do in a previous post). One good girl friend is worth more than a boyfriend at your age. Plus from my experience you usually meet guys when you're not really looking for them!
I agree 100%...you will find an awesome guy when you least expect it
post #19 of 19
I confess I've never heard anything good with this online "dating" trend.
The right person is out there for you-you just haven't met him yet!!! I met my husband when he helped puch my roommates car out of our driveway (23 yrs ago!!)
You seem to have lots of interests go pursue them.
I agree I good girlfriend or two is much better than guys at your age!!
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