*a small rant* Mom's boyfriend..grrr

xinkforbloodx

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Yesterday Keith (mom's bf) was outside arguing with Mom...and well I decided to go out there...well he started putting my kittens in a box to take them away! I was furious...I took them out of the box and he told me to put them back in there...haha like I was going to listen?...His reason for this was because they messed on the carpet that we have stored under the carport BUT his lil puppy messes in the living room in the house and he doesn't even clean it up. He's been wanting my kittens gone since they were born. When they were first born him and his brother were going to take them away (I'm assuming to throw them in the river). I'm so tired of this man. He keeps mentally abusing my mom and it's not very good for me and my sister either. I've never been so mad in my life as I get with Keith. He's gotten up in my face recently yelling at me. *sigh*

Sorry that this is a weee bit long. But if you guys read all of it thank you very much <3
 

miss mew

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That is terrible!, is there anyway you can get out of this situation and try and talk your mom out of it too?

A person that would hurt an animal is a terrible human being.
 
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xinkforbloodx

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It's not just my animals I'm worried about I'm worried about my mom too...my sister and I have tried and tried to tell her that she doesn't need to be with him...he's also a drug addict...which is the cause of most of this crap, but he won't change for us...she wants to stay until she can get things evened out and we can get on our feet.
 

eilcon

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Sounds like you, your mom and sister would be better off without this guy in your lives. Have you expressed your concerns to your mom?
 

purr

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Originally Posted by xinkforbloodx

It's not just my animals I'm worried about I'm worried about my mom too...my sister and I have tried and tried to tell her that she doesn't need to be with him...he's also a drug addict...which is the cause of most of this crap, but he won't change for us...she wants to stay until she can get things evened out and we can get on our feet.
Does your mom have a job? I don't know what to tell you. If she doesn't want to leave him until she feels she can support you guys without him, then she won't. My only advice is to keep telling your mom, stay away from him as much as possible, and keep your kitties away from him too.
 
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xinkforbloodx

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yes we've expressed our concerns. she knows he's not good. he's been pulling this crap for a year now...so yeah he needs to be gone. my fiance has offered for me to stay and live with him and his family...but I would feel like I would be imposing...*sigh* I don't know I just want him gone!
 

ugaimes

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Please, please, please urge your mom to get help. Mental abuse IS domestic violence and, even if he has not been physical with her yet, it could VERY easily get to that point. If your mom would like help getting out, give her this #: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Calls are free and confidential.
Please feel free to PM me if you'd like. This is what I do for a living and I'd love to help you if I can in any way.
 
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xinkforbloodx

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He grabber her arm the other night and I was furious! I got so scared. I had never seen him do that before.
 

ugaimes

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That's how it starts- and, as I said, it could easily escalate and quickly.
He had no right to do that to her and she has done nothing to deserve it (no matter what he might say on the contrary).
 
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xinkforbloodx

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I know, but there's always me or my sister at home. If he hits her he wont' be able to get up.
 

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You need to get help, and get help NOW. These types of men use women and abuse women because they feel badly about themselves.

They also abuse pets because they are venting all that misery (misery of themselves being in existance... "self hatred").

Get everyone out OR get him OUT now!

And PM Amy (ugaimes) please! Amy is the one to talk to!!!!!!!
 
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xinkforbloodx

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i've told my mom many times lets go back to nana's (her mom, my g-ma) and she refuses! we could already be out and away from him but noooo
 

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can you and your kitties go back to your nan's? I mean, I understand your wanting your mum safe and all, but if she's not leaving to do right by you and your sister, you both need to do right by yourselves.
 
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xinkforbloodx

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I know, but she doesn't want me to move back to Nana's. Because she can't get away to see me enough when I'm here...I've moved to Nana's before only to be promised that things will be ok at the houes and I got back (give it a month) and things go down the drain again. My fiance and his family have offered for me to move in with them, but I don't know..
 

ugaimes

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Originally Posted by xinkforbloodx

I've moved to Nana's before only to be promised that things will be ok at the houes and I got back (give it a month) and things go down the drain again.
It's called the Cycle of Abuse- and it does not stop. He tells your mom that he'll never hurt her (either physically OR emotionally) ever again, she believes it because she wants to believe it or because he truly is convincing, things go well for just a little bit (it's called the Honeymoon Phase), but the abuse inevitably starts all over again.
This cycle WILL not stop until he gets major help (in the form of psychotherapy) or your mom safely gets out of the relationship- period.
 
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xinkforbloodx

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he's a drug addict if he's off the freakin' meth he's not bad at all...but guess what? he's not off of it...grrrr...
 

ugaimes

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Drugs quite possibly may contribute to his behavior (OK, they definitely do) but he can by no means use that as an excuse. If he claims that drugs make him "out of control" then he would be abusing everyone and everything- not just your mom. But his abusive behavior is very focused (on your mother) and very much "in control." He definitely should get treatment for his drug addiction, but is that guaranteed to stop his abusive behavior? No way Josè!
 

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Sweetie, you need to get you and your sister out of there. I know you love your mom and want to be there for her, but SHE is the mother and if she refuses to provide a safe environment for you girls, then you must do it yourself. You are not responsible for your mom's actions. Go to Grandma's if you can with your sister as soon as possible.

Perhaps if she realizes you definitely are not coming back until he's gone, she may actually make him leave or leave him herself.

Please for your own safety and your sister's, go as quickly as possible and take your animals with you.
 

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Originally Posted by xinkforbloodx

I know, but there's always me or my sister at home. If he hits her he wont' be able to get up.
When (if?) he crosses the line into physical violence, you need to call the police. Do not get involved. A strong man can easily take on 3 women, and he may just escalate and really hurt you all.

And I hope your fiance is cut from a different cloth? Substance free and respectful? (I'm sure he is, just gotta ask!)
 
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xinkforbloodx

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becki, he sure is. jeremy is nothing like keith. the only thing he does is drink once ina blue moon. he is nothing like him, thank god!
 
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