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How soon after?

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
I ran into an old friend of mine (that my stbx(soon to be ex) would never let me talk to) at the store. Which is really weird because he lived 80+miles away the last time I seen him. I told him what all had happened over the last 2 yrs with my stbx. We exchanged phone number and went on our way.. Well tonight he called and asked if I wanted to get away from the stress of packing and everything thats happened and go to dinner.. I told him I would have to see what my plans are seeing as how i am moving this saturday. Is it too soon? Should I wait and take a rain check?
Im not sure what to do. I have known this guy for a LONG time and he was actually one of the few that said he seen trouble when I started dating my stbx.... Any advice?
post #2 of 24
I say do whatever feels right and don't worry about the timing. Having another friend in the world is never a bad thing.
post #3 of 24
Just because he's a man doesn't mean he can't just be a good friend right now. The timing is never wrong to connect with a friend.
post #4 of 24
Originally Posted by Miss Mew
I say do whatever feels right and don't worry about the timing. Having another friend in the world is never a bad thing.
This guy has known you for a long time and "old friends" are the best friends. It may be nice for you to have someone to sit and talk to.
post #5 of 24
Thread Starter 
Well my best friend is all worked up over it sayin I dont need to get involved with anyone right now. Which I agree with, but hes just offering me dinner and a ride on his Ninja (japanese motorcycle) like we used to when we were younger... Just to get away from everything for awhile... Thats what i need. I have stressed myself so much the last 2 weeks that I can't think straight anymore. I just want to get away for a few hours and escape reality and de-stress. She made the comment of "Im not taking backseat to a guy I have never met, nor am I going to watch your son while you're out $#@$%^ this guy!" That ticked me off and showed me what she thinks of me in a way. I didnt even ask her to babysit! I know she's just watchin out for me, but to make comments like that!?
post #6 of 24
I think you need to go to dinner with him!!!! You deserve to have fun yourself and it sounds like your "friend" is jelous of you and doensn't want you to be happy. You need to live for yourself and no one else. Have fun!!
post #7 of 24
Is it too soon? Should I wait and take a rain check?
You'll know the correct answer in hindsight.
post #8 of 24
I would go - you need to let down your hair and relax. And if you have known him a while you do not need to be all tense. I am sure you will find a way to tactfully explain (if you should need to) that you are not ready for any deep involvement at this stage. If he is a real friend he will not overstep the mark. Good luck and have fun! The motorbike sounds great.
post #9 of 24
What do you have to lose? Even if he's interested in you romantically, he probably knows now's now the time for that, and even if he doesn't, you can easily let him know. Your friends seems like she has issues.
post #10 of 24
Go and have a good time!
Enjoy being with someone who doesn't tell you who you can and cant' be friends with!!!
post #11 of 24
I'm a dummy I guess, what's a stbx please?
post #12 of 24
Thread Starter 
I think I am going to go! I need to get away from all this before I explode!
I have known this guys since before my soon to be ex (stbx) and I were together. He just wouldn't let me talk to him because he was a man and as he would say " Men only want one thing from a woman and it's not friendship"... maybe thats what my stbx wanted, but not this guy.
post #13 of 24
I'm a dummy I guess, what's a stbx please?

You're no dummy!!!!! It's just another acronym on the net...

Soon To Be X

DARLIN ----- too soon is never soon enough when it comes to having FRIENDS and getting back out into the world!!! BE SOCIAL! Have FUN! LET this man or any man or any ONE for that matter spend time with you. You need to surround yourself with people who admire you (and I'm sure this male friend DOES).

Don't worry about the dating thing yet. You could kindly let him know you value his friendship and you aren't ready for "the love thang" just yet. He will RESPECT you for that and he won't move it any farther.

It's only dinner by the way. Nothing else! You won't 'owe' him anything; and since you already know the guy and consider him a friend, being around someone like him will help you to build your self-esteem back up.
post #14 of 24
Go and enjoy yourself. Sounds like you have reconnected with an old friend and nothing is better than that.

Your other "friend" has her own problems apparently. She shouldn't talk to you like that. I won't even swear at my husband no matter how angry/frustrated I am so I cannot imagine a supposed friend saying something like that. Sounds a bit like sour grapes to me.
post #15 of 24
Originally Posted by BigKittenDaddy
I'm a dummy I guess, what's a stbx please?
you´re not a body are wisdom..
I was going to ask that in fact! ...but I see the answer!

post #16 of 24
I go for it will see what fun had been missing in your life.
Your your date and give us the details if you want!!!!!
post #17 of 24
Go and have fun!!
post #18 of 24
Enjoy yourself for one evening. There is nothing wrong with getting away from it all for a little while. Have fun!
post #19 of 24
Well it's 100% go... What are you waiting for??? GO!!!
post #20 of 24
I agree with everyone... GO out and enjoy yourself girl!!!!
post #21 of 24
go out and have a freaking good time! Since John and I have broken up I've got to hang out with all of my guy friends ive neglected and make some new ones and its great! its taken my mind off of things and given me lots of fun things to do. John was just like this - " Men only want one thing from a woman and it's not friendship"... and I think its BS most of my friends are guys and they dont all want me.. at least i dont think they do.. LOL But if this guy wants to be with you, he'll give you time to get over all of this so in teh meanitime don't worry and go out and have some good old fashioned fun!
post #22 of 24
You're probably already gone by now (ha ha), but I say go for it. Do what you like, have fun.....
post #23 of 24

Good to see you have gotten over John. After reading your mini-rant, I thought you might just hide from the world.
post #24 of 24
hope u went out and had a great time.the bike ride is just great will blow away the cobwebs make u feel good (trust me i know) and u can be friends with a man with out it becoming sexual. ive got piles of male friends and piles of femal;e friends.
as for your friend sounds like a touch of green eye.
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