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Sigh. Rant.

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
*sigh* The livingroom smelled a bit like pee today. However it probably isnt in the litterbox (because we have one in the livingroom since the cats used to go behind the couch). My mom came home and the first thing she said to me was "You'd better find where your d***** cats peed and clean it the **** up. One more G-D*** time and they're gone.

One question.. I am 18... the cats are mine (and in fact I actually used my own money to buy elliot from the shelter) is my mom allowed to get rid of my cats w/o my consent?

Grrr she makes me so angry! She doesnt even consider the fact that MAYBE just MAYBE the fact that she has HUGE POTS FILLED WITH DIRT and SKINNY LITTLE TREE PLANTS all over the back of the livingroom might just be a TINY BIT ENTICING to the cats!!!! I mean... there's neough room in the pots for all three cats to go to the bathroom. Since we've put a potty back there they do pretty good. only an accident every once in a while, and it's always HER cat. Of course... when he goes on the floor she still blames my cats and says "Well they drive him away from the potty so he cant go to the bathroom"
They dont drive him away from anything. Rosco is paranoid. He has never liked or gotten along with any other cat except for cuddles who has been gone a long time. Every time my cats even go near him he either slaps them or runs away.

When we got the new potty and put it in the livingroom the first thing my cats did was pee in it. And guess what. My mom got mad at them "Look... not even ******* there for a G-**** minute and the little ******** are already using it."

Its like.. yeah. Its a freaking potty. Its not like my cats are going to stop and say "Oh hey, that potty isnt for us. We shouldnt go in it"

GRRRR.... And she always says that my cats are try ing to fight with Rosco.. but they arent!!! Rosco has NEVER liked ANY other cat except for Cuddles. WHen I got pigger (the cat before my two now) He had to live in the basement (in my room) because rosco wouldnt leave him alone. As it is... all elliot has to do is walk in the livingroom by him and rosco will smack him. Elliot does aboslutely not a thing to Rosco. Our livingroom has onlyh one clear space (under the table) for the cats to get to the bit behind the furniture (which is like six feet wide and 8 feet long with a big window) and rosco always sits right there underneath the table. What is Elliot supposed to do??? Rosco smacks him when ELi walks by.. and my mom says "Oh well elliot provoked him" But elliot had no where else to go through!!!!!

Now I do admit that Aerowyn does chase Rosco... but only because he runs from her. Otherwise she doesnt even look at him, in fact, she sleeps by him sometime. Today when I took Eli and Ari outside, Elliot started running a bit and Ari went after him. Its just the way she is. EVery time rosco even looks at Aerowyn, he runs away.

And also, my mom doesnt even consider that her nineteen year old cat MAY JUST BE THE ONE peeing back there! Rosco is very very bad with plastic. He will pee on anything plastic. We have been lucky so far, but I think it was him that peed behind the furniture, because we put a plastic mat (with pointy tings sticking up) back there where the cats used to go potty the most.

My mom even told me "oh well I spilt a bit of dirt on the floor... and those little ******** better not be going potty in it"


OF course the cats are goign to go pee on the dirt!!!!!! WHat cat wouldnt?????

ARG She just frustrates me so much.

I am afraid to say to her "Well you're NOT going to get rid of my cats because they are MY cats" then she might decide not to buy them food anymore. I am looking for a job and was hoping to be accepted to work at goodwill but they didnt want me. So even if I applied today It would still take two weeks to find otu if they wanted me or not. I cant do outside chores because of my severe allergies (expecially to cut grass) But I dont think she would not buy them food.

So I really just kind of want to know if my mom can get rid of the cats even though I am 18.

I swear, if she ever does do that. I am not going to talk to her for the rest of my life. She wont even see any grandchildren I might have. Ever. And screw buying her a house in Montana like I always said I would if I got the money.

I'm a good kid.... I dont want many things... I dont have many things... Whenever I HAVE Been bad, (and it's only something like... not having a good enough grade or forgetting to take out the trash) she always threatened me with stuff like that. She even once told me she would take away my puppy that I had because I got two B- on my report card.

Why is it that she has always threatened to take away the only things in the world I really love?
post #2 of 6
Wow you sound very upset - and understandably so, things seem to be a little unfair at your place at the moment. But it's hard to say when I'm not there

It's really hard when your Mum seems to be picking on you a lot and deliberately trying to upset you. Have you tried to sit down and talk to her rationally about it? Say that you can see her point in a lot of things but that her threats to deprive you of the things you love the most really hurt and upset you, and could you two maybe compromise that when it comes to the cats, you will both try not to be biased and help each other rather than hinder?

It is very difficult to get along with your Mum when you're a teenager, but it also will be difficult for her, having a teenager that she has to try to get along with. It is hard for paretns to lose `control' of their children as they grow up, and my guess is that as you become more adult and independent, she feels more like she is losing control over you, and therefore her threats are more severe because she feels like that's the only way she can get your attention.

It can be SO frustrating but I found when I was a teenager that often the best way to deal with Mum when she was being unreasonable was NOT to get angry (even though I was most of the time!!) but to at least appear to be seeing things from her side, and then they think you're cooperating, and they're more likely to cooperate, too. But it's really hard to do that when you are hurt and angry.

I don't think she could `get rid' of your cats, I would certainly think that it really is just a threat and she wouldn't do that to you. But you need to explain to her how much you love them and how much it hurts you when she says things like that.

Once again, you need to try to find a way to work as a team, and even though it might seem like you're doing all the work to sort out this situation, trust me, it'll be a sacrifice that is worth it in the end.

Cheer up and good luck with your Mum!
post #3 of 6
Sarah, She can if you are living in her house I hope things work out for you!!!
post #4 of 6
Really? That doesn't seem fair, does it? I would DIE if Mum had ever had done anything like that to me - and certainly would have felt like never speaking to her ever again! I made her suffer enough when she grounded me once!!! Lol...
post #5 of 6
Thread Starter 
THanks for the advice

I think the reason that we really dont get along is that she treats me like I am just another teenager.

You may think that is kind of weird that I would get mad because she treats me like every other parent treats their teen, but I have good reason.

I do not drink, smoke, or do drugs. I have only tried alcohol (When my mom TOLD me to try some) and I do not like it. I owuld never try smoking or drugs. I dont go out with friends and get into trouble (in fact I dont go out at all, nor do I have friends besides when I used to eat lunch with people in school or talk to them during class) I dont have boyfriends, I dont go having sex with random strangers. I dont do anything! I read. I play with my cats. I go on the internet. I take walks in the woods. I sleep. That is it. Really.

My day consists of this: I wake up when I wake up. Make some toast and eat it while reading a random book for a while. Then I go on the computer. When I get bored with that, I take the cats outside for about four hours or more. Then I go back in and it's usually supper time. If she made something I'll eat it, otherwise I'll make something quick and clean up after myself. If the trash is full, I take it out. I dont do the dishes because she doesnt like the way I do them so she does them herself. I take care of all three potties, and I clean up my own glasses and stuff. Then usually I will go on the computer again, and then read a book before going back to sleep.

If I had a job I would do those same things, but with less going on the computer.

I dont do anything at all. My mom isnt losing control over me because she doesnt have to control me in the first place! It just gets me riled that if I dont notice the trash is full or something, she treats me like I just came home with a 28 year old guy and my tongue peirced and announced I was pregnant!

I just think I deserve to be treated better than other "normal" teenagers!
I'm sure a lot of you understand what I mean.

I also find the best thing to do when my mom is being unreasonable is just to not say anything at all. If I get angry and say something she will just get even angrier. Its really hard to talk to her at all because she never gives ME anything. Its like she has to win the whole conversation or it wont be finished. And if I was right about something, she doesnt even apologize, though she expects me to apologize if she was right about something. Or if she does apologize.. she does it grudgingly and angrily.I mean, I dont say anything to her about her alcoholic boyfriend or how she stalks him when he doesnt answer his cellphone....I dont say anything to her at all about her life or the things she does. (though I do think it is weird that she always insists on buying dresses with those big, puffy, funny shoulder pads)

She's sleeping right now but I wont say anything unless she threatens to get rid of them again because now I am not angry enough to be able to say anything.

Side Rant: I wish my mom's boyfriend's mom had a third son because I love his family (and his brother just got married). Hm... well... maybe I'll just have to marry one of his cousins. They're a bit too young for my mom (Two are 19, one is 14, one is 15, and the other is like 28 but he has a really nice girlfriend)
post #6 of 6
Thread Starter 
She likes my cats, I know. And usually she is pretty nice, or we dont say anything at all because she worked then came home and went out with her boyfriend. I usually get maddest when she first comes in the door, because I ask her "how was work?" and she usually vents to me and I listen and agree that some people in her job suck, but then the first thing she says to me after that is "Did you find a job yet?" or "I see you didnt take out the trash" (when I dont think it is full) or like today "Your cats peed on the G-D*** floor" Some days she can just be horrible for whatever reason.

Know what got me really riled up...

the day after Goodwill declined me.. my mom was on the internet doing some training for her job.... she was getting mad at the computer because it was going so slow... she said "This d*** computer is so slow" and I told her "mom its not the computer.. its the seven dollar a month dial up. It runs 26.5 kbps and thats not fast at all" and she said "Well if you would get a job we could get high speed internet now couldnt we?" but I told her "well I dont mind the dial up. It takes longer to do what I want on the internet but at least I can still do it. If you want high speed internet, then you pay for it." and she didnt say anything more.

When I do get a job and I do give her money for rent and stuff. I am sure going to make sure the money DOES go towards rent and bills. I am not going to give her money so she can get $150 dollar highspeed internet with 200 channel cabel and all the movie channels avaliable, or so she can buy cigarettes, or loan her boyfriend $20 so he can get alcohol when they go out. (though he does always pay her back)

But we will work that out more when I get a job. My mom wasnt happy but I already told her that I was sorry but when I got a job she probbaly wouldnt see any of my paychecks for the first month, because first I want to get Ari fixed, get them both distemper and Leukemia vaccinations, along with rabies and heartworm, and buy them flea/tick repellant. (which will take a considerable amount of money obviously)

When I do get a job it will hopefully be full time. She will get $200 for rent (because rent is 400 for this house) I wont pay her phone bill (because I dont use the phone) but I would be glad to take electricity,gas,water, and trash and pay for half of the total bills (about another $150) With $350 extra each month and making about $1000 a month or more she should have enough money to NOT get behind on bills. oh and groceries too.. duh.

We dont have cable or gas at the moment (which isnt really a big deal.) as long as I have my computer I am happy Well.. the microwave and the plug in electric burner are good too

You know... I kind of secretly wish that my mom's boyfriedn would hurry up and find a house he likes and buy it (he's picky because he wants a place iwth woods since he loves to chop wood) because then maybe she would move in with him and I could stay here and have this house to myself. Hehe. I could take over her bedroom and use this room for the computer and the cats

Heck, at only $400 a month this place is a rarity (ts about 1/2 an acre with a big front and back lawn, a two car garage, AND a three seasons porch. It also has 2 bedrooms and 2 baths, though it is a trailer. I'd love to save up the money to BUY this place because I love it here.

Sometimes I think about it too because in reality... I dont need cable (but a tv would be good for movies and my PS2).. or gas.. (though air conditioning is nice) I wouldnt have much of a phone bill at all.. nor electricity (specially with no tv) and I only take short showers (and she takes half hour or longer ones) It would be really nice but I dont think it will happen.

It will be cool when I get a job because I will have SOOOO much money! I mean.. if I make six bucks an hour and work 40 hours a week, that is 240 a week, and about 1000 a month! With even giving her 400 a month if it's needed I could still save up 600 a month! How cool is that? And its not like I BUY anything. Ok sure.. I might splurge and buy a video game... and most definitely kitties and I will go on a petsmart shopping spree, but really, I wont spend that much money at all! If I moved into those one/two room apartments they have here in town, at 300 a month, it would be a bit more to live with bills, but I would still save up a considerable amount. Just imagine if I saved up basically 10,000 each year. In five years I could have $50,000! That's almost enough to buy a HOUSE. And I would only be heck... 23? 25??!!!!

I love being cheap and frugal. I really do.

Thanks for kind of letting me rant and talk to myself a bit

I love this site and the people on it!
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