I'm back to square 1 ( I think).

Well, I had a great ski weekend. Was like spring skiing!
no one got hurt or anything, BUT:
My cats "met" inadvertantly - three times. Once my friend forgot to tie the door shut (old house) and she felt very badly. Jinx was out all Friday night. Then my sister was over sunday and somehow they got the door open and she heard a kafuffle upstairs and went upstairs and put Jinx back in his room. Jake kinda went after him she said. Then my friend was feeding them Monday Am and Jake went after him again. My friend thinks Jake was upset cuz I wasn't around. Jinxy was very hostile towards Jake when I got home, (I didn't know any of this so I went to do the "dinner" thing, and Jinx would have none of it). but this morning they ate breakfast together so I'm hoping it was because I was gone and different people,etc... I'm just going to keep doing what I was doing before I left - keep them separate until Jinx is comfortable again. He did start to come downstairs, but now he's just barely coming out of his room again. Man I'm bummed.

I'm not happy. But I'll deal. I feel great after my little getaway! Needed it bad.

I won't be going anywhere again till we are all happilly living together.....

I am glad you had a great vacation - too bad the babies didn't have such a great time. I agree that you should just keep doing what you were & they will get along soon enough!

I will - thanks for the encouragement! I know they will like each other eventually

Janet - let us know how they are doing now that you ae home!
De

I am sure they'll eventually get along fine. I just went thru it w/ my two. They still don't 'play' but don't fight either!! Patience!!!

OKAY - GET READY FOR A LONG POST

Hi - I'm kinda discouraged, but I think just because we were set back THREE FREAKING WEEKS.

Now that I've yelled....

Well, we have breakfast and dinner together, but Jinx is not trusting Jake at all anymore - he's really scared of him I think. He won't come downstairs at all. I spoke w/the woman @ the shelter I got him from and she said, just keep doing what I'm doing (back to square one thing) and then try to bring Jinx down and sit on the couch w/him, pat him, talk to him, etc... I tried last nite and he growled and hissed when I brought him down - he NEVER claws or bites I might add, which leads me to believe he's just really scared. I let him go and he slunk back upstairs.

I spoke w/a friend of mine who adopted three after her Dafney passed , and it took only a short time for them. She has two girls and a boy, and the woman she got them from was amazed at how short of a time it was for them to get along. she did the baby gate thing in the door. She suggested baby gates in the door for another week or so - she said it helped her cats she thinks, because they could hiss and run away without the fear of being chased. She said they did the hiss and run away thing for a short time, and then hung around the baby gate together.

I also think they are both kinda pissed at me for reasons only katz know. No aggression or anything, just kinda aloof, like "you left us, you BITCH!"

I think I'm gonna go get 2 or three to cover the whole door and try this - ya know, leave it open while i'm there type of thing.

I have a coupla questions though:

Should I trim their nails before I introduce them (for real) WHENEVER THAT MAY BE??? Believe me, I'll take as long as I need to.

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE? How long is too long to keep them apart? Am I causing more anxiety by keeping them apart for a longer period?

I'm kinda worried that Jake is going to be the aggressor. Just because of his behavior when I was away, I think he know's he's got the upper hand - he acts well around him, but this AM, he kinda went after him under the door and I heard Jinx hiss behind the door .

What do I do about the not coming downstairs thing? I feel so bad, cuz he cries and cries when he's upstairs (well, he cries and cries anyway - I think he's a talker - GREAT! ), and I know he wants to be a part of the family but he's scared!

Am I being an overzealous freak of a cat owner? Did anyone else just want to cry because youd didn't think it would work out? I just am frustrated, so thanks for letting me vent....


Any help would be GREAT! I really love this cat and Jake is my baby and I want it to work DAMNIT!
:tounge2:

The way I've always introduced new cats is to keep them isolated only a few days. They will never get used to each other and establish any kind of pecking order until they are allowed to interact. The idea behind initially seperating them is so they can get used to each other's smells and presence, but they still have to interact.

If one was overly aggressive and the new one was a kitten I would still keep them seperate while I was gone, but again, only for a few days. Although I'm sure other people could post that it has happened, I have never seen newly introduced cats actually injure one another. It's okay if they hit and spit and swat because this is how cats establish their relationships.

I'm new here, so if I'm repeating something someone else has already said or if I missed something vital in your first post that would negate everything I just said, forgive me!

My cats are 4 (Jinx the new one) and 11 - Jake. I have had them for three weeks last night and we had a setback when I went skiing (see top of post). They were out all night on friday in the house together and I don't think it was good. I just don't want to rush it but at the same time, I also don't want to make it worse by keeping them separated. OH, THE CONFUSION!

I just posted it on a new thread, because I am leaving in a coupla hours and won't be back till Monday!!!!

Thanks Again!

I guess your not supposed to do that duplicate thread thing..... oops, my bad....:tounge2: