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Opportunity knocked, need advice

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
A once in a lifetime opportunity has presented itself.

My folks have recently put my childhood home on the market.
They been living the life of retirees in their RV, wintering in Arizona, Summering in Washington.

They finally found the property they want to call home.
7.5 acres in Toledo Washington, about an hour from Portland.
Fenced pastures, 2 barns, 2 houses.
One house is 3 bedroom, 2 bath, the other is 4 bedroom, 2 bath.
They want to have horses, but since half the year they are away, they'll need someone there.
Mom also wants a watchdog, but she's allergic, and doesn't believe in dogs staying outside.

They've offered my fiance' and I the 4 bedroom house.

How do I go about convincing him that it would be better for us to sell the condo, and live rent free in a house that will be ours for all intents and purposes?
It would mean moving away from his mother.
His mother though is much younger than mine, and barring anything bad happening, will far outlive mine.
My mother knows that she doesn't have many years left and I understand (though she'd never admit it) that she wants me living closer to her.
post #2 of 25
You know, if someone offered me a home thatis as big as your potential new home, your mother may not have that many years left, I say you just tell him what you just said here- if you had told me, you have convinced me to move in with you!
If your parents (heaven forbid!) do pass on, what will happen to this property? Will you gain it? I think this is a great opportunity, you will still have a lot of privacy most of the time when they are away, and if it is that big, heck, maybe you could have more cats!
post #3 of 25
Thread Starter 
My older brother and I would gain the property.
But knowing my brother (who grew up working the farm) he'd never be in residence.
Our family farm was sold when I was 2.
Even though I grew up in the city, I never stopped being the farm girl that I was born to be.

I don't really know much on horse care beyond mucking stalls and feed/water/exercise, but will have family in driving distance that does, so I'd have help, and mentors.
post #4 of 25
I think this is a wonderful opportunity. I say go for it!

good luck convincing hubby!
post #5 of 25
Thread Starter 
Thanks!
post #6 of 25
Sounds like heaven to me! Just think of all the room your kitties would have!

How do you think your fiance will react? Will he be dead set against it, or wavering and just in need of a slight push?
post #7 of 25
When are we moving??

This is a very good opportunately - what kind of jobs are in the area?
post #8 of 25
This sounds like a wonderful oppourtunity!!, I wouldn't hesitate!!

Go for it
post #9 of 25
Sell up, invest the money and move girl. your DH would have to be daft NOT to see the opportunities this provides. If he's worried about work, there are so many jobs now that all you need is a fax and a broadband connection
post #10 of 25
This should definitely be an agreement between the two of you. Relationships are nothing without compromise! But hopefully he'll see that this is an opportunity too good to pass up! Good luck!
post #11 of 25
oooh, Arlyn. I had to stop and daydream at that one..
My parents offering me an entire big house in close proximity to barns and horses and things!!!
I would grab it..But Amy is right. You need to work out a compromise.
Your relationship could suffer if its all your way. Resentment could occur on his side and cause things to break down.
I would have a sit down, talk about how much it means to you and work out some sort of compromise. Ie, how often you will visit his mother, when you will move back if he absolutely hates it (but that he has to try to all the same).
How far away would you be from his mother?

Good luck! Sounds like a great opportunity.
post #12 of 25
It does sounds wonderful, and I can tell you want to jump on the opportunity! Take an evening and spend some time in deep conversations with your husband. I hope he sees what a wise move this would be for you both! Good luck, Arlyn!
post #13 of 25
Thread Starter 
We've discussed it.
He wants them to tell us what their mortgage payments are.
Such a practicle guy
Since my older brother and I would gain the property in the event something happened to my parents, we'd end up splitting the mortgage.

Given my folks' age, the horses would basically be my full time job.
They are also considering pasture/stall rental.
Mom knows/loves horses, just isn't physically able to care for them anymore.
She used to to cutting and reining....I just can't see her doing more than pleasure riding a smooth gaited horse these days.

Keep your fingers crossed, I think this would do a lot towards helping my depression.
post #14 of 25
Fingers crossed tightly here!!!!
post #15 of 25
Fingers crossed. and if you ever need a mentor on the ponies I am here to help
post #16 of 25
Thread Starter 
Thanks! I know I will if we go for it.
Bare basics I learned in 4-H, but I know there is a LOT more to it than feed, water, exercise and grooming.
I haven't a clue on hoof care or saddling (I've only ever ridden bareback, or on rentals that were saddled for me), no idea on warning signs for health issues.

I know mom wants QH or Am. Saddlebred, I'm more partial to Morgans myself as far as all around utility, of course I love dressage and I think the Saddlebred would be better suited.

I did jokingly tell her to make sure they were harness broke, that way she could at least drive the horses into town if she needed to since she doesn't drive cars any more.
post #17 of 25
Sounds wonderful to me (said wistfully...we'd love to move to a home on property)...once you and your fiance discuss all the related issues (his moving away from his mom, any future financial responsibilities re the mortgages).

Best wishes to you (and I'm going to look up Toledo on the various real estate sites, so I can drool....)
post #18 of 25
What would he do for a job!!
post #19 of 25
Thread Starter 
He could actually transfer his current job up there.
post #20 of 25
I would make the list of pros and cons and then make your decision from that.
post #21 of 25
Thread Starter 
Would be a short list really.
We are currently financially floundering, living, but only living.
The only pro to staying here is the proximity to his mother.
Cost of living is nearly equal, slightly cheaper in Toledo.

I know he doesn't particularly want to move away from his mom, but it is only a 14 hour drive away.
post #22 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arlyn
Thanks! I know I will if we go for it.
Bare basics I learned in 4-H, but I know there is a LOT more to it than feed, water, exercise and grooming.
I haven't a clue on hoof care or saddling (I've only ever ridden bareback, or on rentals that were saddled for me), no idea on warning signs for health issues.

I know mom wants QH or Am. Saddlebred, I'm more partial to Morgans myself as far as all around utility, of course I love dressage and I think the Saddlebred would be better suited.

I did jokingly tell her to make sure they were harness broke, that way she could at least drive the horses into town if she needed to since she doesn't drive cars any more.
Hoofcare is every four to six week trim depending on the horse. shoes arent usually need..oh well there is alot more lol. But dont worry I am usually awake for help *tehehe*

Dressage, well if you really wanted to get fancy they have Fresian crosses that are really doing well in Dressage, I havent seen to many Saddle breds in that ring, they are usually in English events, Country, Pleasure, and Park. mostly in park because of their HUGE stride. Dressage ring is mostly warmbloods right now. and some Arabians are cleaning up pretty good too hehe.
post #23 of 25
Thread Starter 
I've actually seen Spanish Barbs in the dressage ring, my only thought was that they were way too small
I would think the Barb would be better at cutting and reining, or really any Western style.
post #24 of 25
With the money you'd be saving not having mortgage payments, y'all could save up and fly his mom to you every 6 months or how ever often he wants!
post #25 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Purr
With the money you'd be saving not having mortgage payments, y'all could save up and fly his mom to you every 6 months or how ever often he wants!
Absolutely!!!!

If your husband can transfer his job, I would be jumping at the opportunity. Wow......
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