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omg guess what

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 
I have a boyfriend!! His name is Brett and he lives in California. He's into the same music as me and he is just soooooooo sweet!!
post #2 of 28
Great!!, congrats on the new guy!
post #3 of 28
Good luck with the new beau!
post #4 of 28
Awesome! Have you met him?
post #5 of 28
That's great!
post #6 of 28
A cat person too?
post #7 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by yayi
A cat person too?
Yes and he likes dogs too!! I asked him if it was okay that I have a cat and I even told him that my baby comes first ALWAYS and he said "That's cool!"
post #8 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by WellingtonCats
Awesome! Have you met him?
Nope I talked to him on the phone. So when I get done with school and everything he's buying me a plane ticket to head over there. He's sooooo sweet!!
post #9 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lil_Axl_Gurl
Nope I talked to him on the phone. So when I get done with school and everything he's buying me a plane ticket to head over there. He's sooooo sweet!!
How old is he?

Congratulations!
post #10 of 28
I know you have probably heard all the warnings, but just in case......
I am assuming you met this guy online. Please be very careful about giving him any personal information about where you live, go to school etc. I am not saying that it isn't possibly to meet someone great online but you need to take precautions to make sure that you are safe just in case....

That being said, I am happy for you and hope it works out great
post #11 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Purr
How old is he?

Congratulations!
He's 17
post #12 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by squirtle
I know you have probably heard all the warnings, but just in case......
I am assuming you met this guy online. Please be very careful about giving him any personal information about where you live, go to school etc. I am not saying that it isn't possibly to meet someone great online but you need to take precautions to make sure that you are safe just in case....

That being said, I am happy for you and hope it works out great
I know I was careful before I told him everything. I heard his mom talking to him so it's not a rapist lol
post #13 of 28
I double agree with Tanya's warning. I suppose if you are going to hang out on a website with mostly adults, you are going to get parental advice. I wouldn't call anyone a boyfriend who did not live somewhere where I could actually meet him and have my parents meet him. There are way too many people in the online world pretending to be someone they aren't. Sounds like a pretty big promise that he is flying you out to California. Have you informed YOUR parents of this boyfriend? They deserve to be in the loop so that they can look out for your safety.
post #14 of 28
I agree with Deb, you need to tell your parents about this guy even if you are waiting until you are done with school and 18 to fly out to see him. Someone would need to know where you are and what your plans are.

Also, are you saying that you all ready gave him your personal information??? If so, now might be a good time to have that talk with your parents. Just because you heard his parents yelling at him still doesn't mean that he isn't up to no good. You would be amazed at what people go through to disguise who they really are.
post #15 of 28
Holy smokes! I hope you are not going to take him up on that trip? I really would not like to hear about you on Unsolved Mysteries, or American Justice.

Just because the guy has a mom, doesn't make him less dangerous! Even rapists and perverts have families.

Are you that much alone that you would drop everything and fly to some place you have probably never been before just to meet a 17 year old guy?

Pardon me, but you have the rest of your life to meet guys. And if this guy is being used by someone older to lure girls in- what then? Have you told your parents about him? Have they talked to his parents on the phone? Exchanged emails, contacted authorities to see if he has a record?

You really need to think before you act here. I know you are young, but try to think clearly before jumping head-first into a relationship with someone you barely know!

I met my husband through a personal ad over 25 years ago BUT I had been divorced and settled in my life and we wrote for four years before even meeting each other. We took it slow and so should you-
post #16 of 28
I would suggest that he use the money to come visit you, and your family, so he can meet all of you. My thinking is that a "nice" boy would not mind that kind of restriction. You must be very careful these days!
post #17 of 28
Yeah I was worried about all the legal side of stuff too. How long have you known him for?
post #18 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by kluchetta
I would suggest that he use the money to come visit you, and your family, so he can meet all of you. My thinking is that a "nice" boy would not mind that kind of restriction. You must be very careful these days!
I agree - its a good idea if he comes to you. If you want to go to Cali for a visit, you can do that AFTER he comes to you and visits you and you see what he's like.

Even me, at 31 years old and lots of experience, I wouldn't go. I would get him to come to me.

I promise I'm not trying to be negative - I do know internet relationships that have worked out and I'm not dissing you and him, but just giving you "big sister" advice k?
post #19 of 28
Thread Starter 
I'm the one that said I go to him. Because I'd rather live there then here.
post #20 of 28
So you are just going to ignore the warnings that you were given here by people concerned for your well-being?
post #21 of 28
Ok... my 2 cents again for what it's worth.

Just last weekend, or the weeked before you were upset that things didn't work out between you and a boy you met at the mall. You mentioned that you don't have a lot of friends. One of your friends was raped recently and found out that she was pregnant... Wasn't that a wake up call for you? I know it's hard being your age. I know that you feel like your parents don't understand you but please trust me on this... doing things spur of the moment to get away from "Mommy and Daddy" usually turn into being life lessons in the end. Everyone has the feeling that they can't wait to move away once they are 18 or graduate. It is the decisions that you make during this critical time in your life that form the foundation for where you end up. My advice, stay home, go to college and make a life for yourself. Once you are independant, meaning you can support yourself, move where ever the heck you want to. Date this guy if you wish but have him visit you first. You have never mentioned him before, and since you seem to tell us alot about what goes on I think it's safe to assume that you haven't know him long? Don't make long term decisions such as moving to Cali based on this guy. Remember the guy in the mall? You have to start learning from your experiences and those of your friends. Please don't let feeling lonely and angry with your parents allow you to make a dumb decision that you will regret in the long run. Slow down and enjoy your life!
post #22 of 28
Just last week, you were moping, because you met some boy, tried to set up a "date" and he stood you up. THIS week, you're ready to up sticks and fly across the country, to be with someone that you hven't even MET.

Don't you pay attention to stories about predators, surfing the net, just looking for gullible young people to exploit? Check out the Center For Missing and Exploited Children's website. Maybe THAT will drum some sense into your head.

Just this past week, Tucson police busted two men. One thought that he was flying here, to have sex with a 13 y/o boy and the other was coming for a 14 y/o girl. When they arrived, they found that their prospective "dates" were Tucson cops, alerted by the Center For Missing and Exploited Children. These two had set off someone's radar, in a chat room and the Center set up a sting, with TPD.

Score two more, for the good guys!
post #23 of 28
Tanya?

I am available for adoption if you are interested! Your kids are lucky- they have a level-headed mom!
post #24 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by hissy
Tanya?

I am available for adoption if you are interested! Your kids are lucky- they have a level-headed mom!
No kids of my own MA! Got my fiances 8 year old son who stays with us frequently though
I am waiting for him to get interested in the internet. We will have strict rules in our house. No internet in his bedroom where we can't moniter what is going on, and no chatting. We (my fiance and I) don't go into chat rooms and he won't either. Not at our house anyway. It is much too dangerous and causes too many problems.
post #25 of 28
By the time you get out of school, your feelings for him may have changed. I say go ahead and enjoy having a "boyfriend" and worry about the rest when it gets to that. Just be careful, safe, and think about what's best for your cat! You don't want him to be mommy-less, do you?
post #26 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lil_Axl_Gurl
I'm the one that said I go to him. Because I'd rather live there then here.
I know, I would rather live in California too!!! That's why I said, let him visit you first, and THEN visit Cali and him AFTER you find he is trustworthy.

Or visit California on your own when you have graduated and want to get to know the world better. I know you want to get out of where you live (I don't know where you live) as I always did too when I was 18. But don't take him up on his offer for the flight. If you really, really want to go to California and meet him - at least pay for your own flight, stay in a hotel, and then meet him in a crowded place and don't tell him which hotel you are staying at.

I agree with you that you want to get out of your town and see other places, and especially California, but just do it on your own then, don't rely on anyone else......ESPECIALLY a guy. Trust me, I've been through it before, and I would more than happy to talk to you thru PM if you like!
post #27 of 28
I agree. Listen to all the experience and common sense coming at you.
You may think people are just trying to rain on your parade but these words of wisdom are coming from a place of experience and concern for your well-being.

As everyone said, though you may want to get out of where you at, don't give yourself up to the first opportunity.
You really aren't being true to yourself if you have already made up your mind to live there when you haven't even met this guy yet.

Get him to come for a visit on your own terms and in your own surroundings.
If he does care about you, he will be very welcome to the idea.

I wish you good luck and good sense with this.
Stay safe.
post #28 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lil_Axl_Gurl
I'm the one that said I go to him. Because I'd rather live there then here.
Trust me, you don't want to move to California...it costs a fortune to live there.
I'll lecture you on this point, coming from someone who has moved back & forth across the country a time or two.
Say you did pick up & move to California-what kind of a job will you get to help pay for an apartment that costs at least 1000.00 a month? Just for rent? What about utilities, food, gas, necessities? Let's say this guy ISNT an old pervert-with the two of you, working the average lower paying jobs that younger people get, you will still struggle. And love don't pay the bills. Do you really want to get stuck out there without your family, calling your parents(who will be worried sick about you, by the way) & asking them for money?
If you really want me to get bleak, I'll go on about potential abuse, drugs, bad neighborhoods. That's where the poor people live. Please don't kid yourself. Stay where you are, & stay young for as long as you can.
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