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how would you react?

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
You are on the phone with your boyfriend /partner - ok you had a few fights over the past few days. While on the phone with him he hears your cat's meowing through the phone line and says ' Your Damn Cat is Screaming".

Personally I am sick to my stomach - that is just so low and maybe a good time to re-evaluate that person. Could use your advise - please
post #2 of 20
ME: " Thats the first and last time that you speak like that about my cat!!!"

* Hits the cancel button on the mobile*
post #3 of 20
The "damn" part would tick me off, of course, but what was he really saying? Was he saying -"calm down, your cat is upset?" or was he saying "Shut your cat up!" How does he feel about and treat your cats on a regular basis?
post #4 of 20
Yes, I would definitely say time to re-evaluate. "Love me, love my cat" . Fortunately I never had that problem. One of my fondest memories is coming to visit Sunny and finding him laying in his bed reading with a cat sprawled all over his chest .
post #5 of 20
Doesn't sound like he has much love for your kittie, in which case I would agree that's it's time to re-evaluate the relationship.
post #6 of 20
Would you put up with a man talking like that about your child? Well, Loki is your family. Same thing, IMO.
post #7 of 20
I will never again put up with a man cussing at me. My exboyfriend used to cuss me out on a regular basis in front of my kid & his kid.

I have a zero-tolerance policy now! Any disrespect for me, my kid, OR MY CATS means the man gets a boot up his butt and outta my life.

So if I were you I'd have a talk with him and tell him no more cuss words to you, at you, or at your cat. Your cat is a part of you after all.
post #8 of 20
Thread Starter 
well I believe it was another way to push my buttons. He is mad at me (to long a story to get into) and striking out to hurt.
post #9 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hell603
well I believe it was another way to push my buttons. He is mad at me (to long a story to get into) and striking out to hurt.
He's being emotionally abusive. A good guy would channel his anger and frustration in healthier ways. Sounds like you are going through a rough spot right now. Whatever you do is YOUR decision, but taking a step back and re-evaluating things (as others have suggested) is a great start!
post #10 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hell603
well I believe it was another way to push my buttons. He is mad at me (to long a story to get into) and striking out to hurt.
It's called mind games as well!
post #11 of 20
If he's striking out to hurt you, then all I can say is, do NOT let him! I know it's easier said than done, but the "end" button on the cell & just hanging up will show him you won't take his crud over the phone.

And no matter why he's mad at you, no matter how long the story is of 'why', he has no right to say mean things like that or cuss at you.
post #12 of 20
I have to say that I think spite is one of the worst traits a person can have. Anyone who hits out to hurt other people just because they themselves are hurting, is not my kind of person at all. Reminds me of people who will hit animals because they've had a fight with their partner
post #13 of 20
Thread Starter 
I guess he dropped his guard - showed his true self - maybe figures he dosen't have to make an effort anymore!! No matter Loki is my baby boy and I am his mom - he will be with me for live!!! Loki was there before him and will be there after him!!!!!

I was just so stunned ............ I think it's time to move on ..........and I am sad!!
post #14 of 20
Me: DAD GET OUT THE SHOTGUN!!!!!!!
post #15 of 20
Do any of you think we are overreacting just a teensy bit? The guy said "damn cat." Ok, thats a mean thing to say and waaaaaay wrong, but we do not know anything about this argument except that it has been going on for days. No offense Hell603, but is it possible that you said equally mean things to him? Don't get me wrong, he does need to care about Loki. He can't continue to speak that way about him. Go ahead and re-evaluate. Thats healthy. Just remember, he's human and if this is his "first offense" you should consider that.

You didn't answer my previous question, Hell603: How does he feel about and treat your cat on a regular basis?
post #16 of 20
that wouldn't bother me. i call his dog the damn dog sometimes. it doesn't mean i beat people.
post #17 of 20
It depends greatly on the tone used. If it was said joking then I might let it slide. My dad used to call Bubbles (My childhood cat) stupid all the time, it became a term of endearment and I gotta say, she isn't the smartest kitty in all the land by any stretch. However if it wasn't jokingly, then I would boot him. Sorry, I don't like to be cussed at period. There is a time an a place for that kind of language and that time and place isn't around me.
post #18 of 20
If you really believe that he was using the words to "strike out and hurt" you, that is the issue. The words he uses don't really matter, it's the issue behind them. Obviously, if you believe he would intend to hurt you by what he says, there are more serious problems with the relationship. Good luck.
post #19 of 20
Thread Starter 
Ok - he tolerates Loki because there is no choice - Loki is with me for life!!

No the word were not said in a joking/light hearted way!!! He knew that those words would sting!!!!

Not matter the issues between us, they needed to stay between us and not involve an innocent!!!
post #20 of 20
I don't think it's necessarily the words, but the feeling behind them. My #1 rule for any potential partner is: Has to love my cat.
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