My Cat Will NEVER Accept New Kitten...Or Hurt Her??

I have a VERY alpha male red tabby, he's about 2 years old and he's ALWAYS been "the baby" and "the only child." Last year I got an older male who was very, very sweet. I kept them in separate rooms, tried the rub-the-towel/exchange-scents thing for a couple of weeks. My red tabby was so upset that he wouldn't come out from under the couch...for 2 weeks. When he did, he'd hiss at the crack at the bottom of the door in new kitty's room. He was so agitated that I had to give the new cat away to a friend, and now he lives a fairy tale life on a farm in the country.

I really, really want another cat. I thought that if I got a younger female, instead of an older male, that maybe my kitty will accept her. I want to get a kitten, but I am worried that my cat might hurt her if he feels threatened. Are cats like this "all talk and no action" or do I have something to worry about? Are these alpha male-type cats generally pacified with smaller, less threatening, female kittens? I don't want to get another cat and then have to give it away!! But I don't want my cat to be upset, I want this to be a smooth transition so that everyone is happy.

Advice, please???

Is your male neutered? Is it possible you can set up a room with a screen between them (kitty proof screen) so that they can see and smell each other right away without either one getting hurt?

Have you thought that maybe what you want, another kitten, might not necessarily be what your red tabby wants?

Two weeks is really not a lot of time to give two cats. Especially if one is a strong alpha. You will want to (if you go ahead with this) get a cat that has the exact opposite traits of your cat. So there is no conflict.

You want separate litter pans, food and water bowls, toys etc..

Give them levels in the house where the Alpha can get up and off the floor and remain secure, and if you bring a new cat/kitten in the house, be sure your other cat is closed off in a room somewhere before you carry the newcomer in the house. Either that or set the carrier on the floor and slide it by him- Height means power and will threaten an Alpha cat right away. Same goes when you put them together for the first time, don't carry the new cat into the room, just keep the door open a crack and let the new cat find its way. Don't be stressed, don't anticipate a problem let them work it out. Hissing, growling, swatting is common and nothing to worry about. Mid-air fights, rabbit kicking, chasing with the body low to the ground, ears and tail flat all those are warning signs.