Actually, it's easier to tell than you may think....
Originally Posted by pandybear
funny how you just can't tell at the beginning
(this is from a post I made on 3/15/05)
There have been some great posts on TCS recently on what to do to prevent sexual assault, how to get proper help from 911, etc.
In that same vein, I'd like to present some red flags
that are present in relationships that have the potential to become violent. These red flags are often present early on in a relationship and may be overlooked for a number of reasons.
If you or someone you know is in a relationship that exhibits any of these red flags, please talk to someone about how to get help. You can also feel free to PM me and I will do whatever I can to help!
Of course, if your partner exhibits some of these signs, that is not a guarantee that they are/will become violent. NO ONE, however, has the right to treat you like this and you have the right NOT to accept this behavior!
*Destructive Criticism/Verbal Abuse: Name-calling; mocking; accusing; blaming; yelling; screaming; making humiliating remarks or gestures
*Emotional Withholding: Not respecting feelings, rights, or opinions.
*Self-Destructive Behavior: Abusing alcohol or drugs; threatening suicide or other forms of self-harm; deliberately saying or doing things that will have negative consequences.
*Minimizing, Denying & Blaming: Making light of your concerns; saying the abuse didn't happen; saying you or someone else were the cause for their behavior
*Economic Control: Not letting you work; refusing to give you money or taking it from you.
*Pressure Tactics: Emotional "guilt-tripping;" manipulating children to obtain what they want form their partner; telling you what to do.
*Abusing Authority: Always claiming to be right and insisting that their statements are "the truth" and more logical.
*Disrespect: Putting down in front of other people; attacking the character of you, your friends and family.
*Intimidation: Making angry or threatening gestures; use of physical size to intimidate.
*Destruction: Destroying your possessions (e.g. furniture or pets); punching walls; throwing and/or breaking things.
I hope this helps someone-anyone- who may not already see the signs.