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I felt bad for her

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 
I was out on my lunch hour today and was in a drugstore. I was shopping for PMS meds, and I see a little old lady trying to reach something on a top shelf. Well, I go over and although I'm only 5'4", I know I can help. I said hello and offered to get the item off the shelf. Well, she glared at me and told me she could do it herself!!!! I was kind of shocked, but said, "No problem...just trying to help" I almost laughed. She was a fiesty little thing. Did I do anything wrong though?
post #2 of 26
Nope! I'm only 5'3" myself and If I am in the store and see someone struggling, I offer to help!
post #3 of 26
No way you didn't do anything wrong! You were only trying to help!

She's probably just EXTREMELY independent and doesn't want ANYONE to help her. My daughter's great grandmother is like that. 92 and blind and will not accept help from ANYONE.

Anyway you mentioned PMS... I always get real sensitive and feel like the world is out to get me ... maybe that has something to do with how you're feeling?

(By the way you got me by 4 inches. I have to climb shelves in grocery stores to get to the really high-up stuff.)
post #4 of 26
Thread Starter 
Thanks Karen and Steph............

LOL, I thought I was short!
post #5 of 26
I Know how you feel! I work for a theater doing patron services,
and it's an outdoor theater so we do a lot of helping stuff.
We have a huge senior audience and my gosh, some want help all the time, others get mad when you offer...it's so hard to know!
post #6 of 26
im 5'2 at walmart they have the shelves so high i either have to jump to get the stuff or steal one of the workers ladders
post #7 of 26
I'm 5'1" and don't forget the 1" mind!!

You did nothing wrong at all Susie!. I'm all for being independent but id appreciate it if someone did that for me, in fact no i'd ask them if they wouldn't mind reaching up to get it for me!
post #8 of 26
you didnt do anything wrong at all. and she probably didnt mean to offend you. My grandma is the same way. she is scared of people thinking she cant do things herself.

Sorry i cant relate on the other issue..tehehe..i am 5 foot 7 barefoot
post #9 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by rosiemac
I'm 5'1" and don't forget the 1" mind!!

You did nothing wrong at all Susie!. I'm all for being independent but id appreciate it if someone did that for me, in fact no i'd ask them if they wouldn't mind reaching up to get it for me!
shrimp - even with the inch
post #10 of 26
Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never harm me!
post #11 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by rosiemac
Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never harm me!
post #12 of 26
I am 154cm - if someone offered to help me, my goodness I wouild take it, why struggle for something that doesn't cost much!
post #13 of 26
I am 5 foot 7 and believe me, I sometimes can't reach things in shops and ppl don't bother asking if I need any help... so if you had asked me then I would have gladly accepted!

You did a good deed - even if it wasn't appreciated
post #14 of 26
No you didn't do anything wrong.

I'm 5'9 and am constantly asked to reach things for people, they always say you're lucky to be sooo tall
post #15 of 26
Nope. You didn't do anything wrong by asking to help someone. I work with the eldery population and some can be VERY set in THEIR ways and independence. Did she even politely say "No thank you, but I appreciate your wanting to help me"?

I remember needing something off of the top shelf in KMart. I saw this young couple and asked if one of them could get the item for me because I coudn't reach it NOR could I find an employee at the time. Gosh. You would have thought I was trying to steal the girls boyfriend/husband!! He did assist me and I did thank them.
post #16 of 26
Susie, I don't think you did anything wrong at all. In light of the fact you were buying PMS meds, it seems you handled the situation very well.

I always ask taller people (I'm also 5'4") to grab stuff off of the top shelves for me. Especially cute guys.
post #17 of 26
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by vespacat
Susie, I don't think you did anything wrong at all. In light of the fact you were buying PMS meds, it seems you handled the situation very well.

I always ask taller people (I'm also 5'4") to grab stuff off of the top shelves for me. Especially cute guys.

post #18 of 26
I'm 5'4".....and I was smart..... I married a 6'4" man!! Of course, though when I have to ask him to reach something I get "What's the matter? Are you TOO short?" I keep telling him that I can hack him off at the knees!
I don't think you were wrong in trying to help her, but she may have overreacted to your offer of help because she may have misinterrperted (sp) your intentions. She may have thought you were only helping because she's older, not because she's shorter. Just a thought. I know my hubby's grandma thinks that way.....she's always telling us she's not too old to do something....but we have to keep reminding her that she IS too short, and we're not helping her because she's "old" (although she is 82, which isn't "young", either) ..she's only 4'6"!!
post #19 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by emmysamson
I'm 5'4".....and I was smart..... I married a 6'4" man!!
Me too! I'm 5'5" and my husband is 6'2". He's always getting stuff for me. Sometimes the difference makes things 'awkward' but it does have it's advantages!

My Gram is kind of stubborn like that too. She had a stroke about 2 years ago and she insists on doing things herself still. She's fallen because of it. Thank the Lord she hasn't broken any bones or gotten a concussion. She's a fiesty thing thats for sure! Sometimes I thin it's what has kept her going through all this. She's become much stronger and hasn't fallen for a while now!
post #20 of 26
It's understandable for a person to be self-conscious about their age and their independence, we'll all be there at some point in our lives. What is not understandable is the lack of common courtesy to simply say 'no thankyou'.

You were not wrong to offer help, and she was within her right to refuse it, but her response was rude. There is rarely an excuse for rudeness in response to courteousness.
post #21 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by emmysamson
I'm 5'4".....and I was smart..... I married a 6'4" man!! Of course, though when I have to ask him to reach something I get "What's the matter? Are you TOO short?" I keep telling him that I can hack him off at the knees!
I don't think you were wrong in trying to help her, but she may have overreacted to your offer of help because she may have misinterrperted (sp) your intentions. She may have thought you were only helping because she's older, not because she's shorter. Just a thought. I know my hubby's grandma thinks that way.....she's always telling us she's not too old to do something....but we have to keep reminding her that she IS too short, and we're not helping her because she's "old" (although she is 82, which isn't "young", either) ..she's only 4'6"!!

lol!!, I did the same thing, I'm 5"2 so I found myself a 6"4 guy too!!

As far as the elderly lady goes, she's probably just trying to be independant...and her glaring at you was probably just over her frustration of not being able to do everything by herself anymore. I know that when I have to load heavy cargo and a man comes over to help I will always turn it down....even if it does mean I'm in pain for 3 days
post #22 of 26
You were only trying to help. I do agree that she could have been a little more polite in her refusal!

I'm 5'4", too. Unless I want to climb the shelves, sometimes I have to ask for help!
post #23 of 26
Good grief! Why couldn't she have been gracious, smiled and said "thank you"?

A few months ago, I was horsing Mom's wheelchair, out of my car trunk and a man stopped and hauled it out, for me. At the (outward-opening) restaurant door, another person held the door, while I wheeled Mom through. In both instances, we BOTH were grateful and let these gentlemen know that we were. There's not enough common courtesy, these days.

I hold doors for elderly/disabled people. MY mother raised me right!
post #24 of 26
Well, you were in a drug store, and grandma might have been a bit embarrassed by what she was getting, who knows.
post #25 of 26
I was standing in line the other day and out of the corner of my eye I see this kid in line beside me, standing a bit too close and moving with me every inch I moved forward. It really annoyed me and I thought to myself about how impatient kids are at times.

I glanced around and it was a tiny older woman! She couldn't have been more than 4.5ft tall! I was shocked! I'll bet none of you could top that!

Who knows what that lady was thinking. Might've been having a bad day or was in pain, but that's still no real excuse to be rude. Although I come off rude a lot because I'm so shy, I don't mean to I just have a hard time opening my mouth and speaking when I don't know someone and/or don't feel like chatting. That's why I hate getting trapped with chatter box strangers in the elevator. Maybe she was shy?
post #26 of 26
Some people ehh..don't worry you did the right thing, Sooz!
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