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What do YOU think about this?

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
Not sure if this should be here or in IMO, but here's an interesting story to ponder:

I went out for dinner with a bunch of friends last night, and our conversation turned to this one club here in Chicago that I swear is the most expensive place in God's creation. The cover charge is like $15 and the drinks are like $12 dollars a pop. So, the clientele it attracts is mega, mega bucks--its where the Hollywood people go when they're in town. We were all joking about going there, because we're all in grad school and still in our young and poor phase, and one of my friends said "Oh, I actually go there a lot". We were all surprised of course, because she's no money bags, and were trying to figure out how she could possibly afford to go there, when she explained her "game plan" to us:
She goes to the club frequently enough that she's befriended the bouncer, so, she flirts with him and he lets her in for free. Then, when she gets inside, she lets guys buy her drinks, flirts with them to make them think something is going to happen, then gives them a fake name and fake phone #.
Some people thought this was funny, and some of us thought that she was doing her best to set feminism back about a million years. I'm just not sure that kind of organized deception is a good idea--she's bound to run into these guys on the street one day, and keeping all her stories straight must be time consuming.
Whaddayou think?
post #2 of 23
i dont think its a huge deal. guys are given fake numbers all the time... they do it to sometimes. I dont think its right... but its "smart"
post #3 of 23
I say you go girl!

But honestly, is the club that WORTH the elaborate plan and work? I think I'd rather stay home (where membership is free and drinks are free) with a good DVD. LOL.
post #4 of 23
I think it kind of smacks in the face of modern feminism. While using our feminine whiles may come in very handy sometimes, we need to be able to get by on our brains and accomplishments, not our looks.
post #5 of 23
I think it's repulsive of her - so I guess I am in the sets feminism back category, If I cannot afford to go somewhere and really want to, I save my money until I can afford it. That prob goes double for a club like that!! So what if alledgedly important ppl go there, she should want to be among friends. Essentially, she is freeloading. Anyway - that's mho!
post #6 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberKitten
I think it's repulsive of her - so I guess I am in the sets feminism back category, If I cannot afford to go somewhere and really want to, I save my money until I can afford it. That prob goes double for a club like that!! So what if alledgedly important ppl go there, she should want to be among friends. Essentially, she is freeloading. Anyway - that's mho!
I am appalled!
post #7 of 23
Maybe it's because I never have and never will be a partier (I went to one party of a guy I had a crush on in college) but...

It just seems stupid to me. And silly. I mean, what is she really getting out of this? Free drinks at an expensive club?

woooo.... fun....
post #8 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberKitten
I think it's repulsive of her - so I guess I am in the sets feminism back category, If I cannot afford to go somewhere and really want to, I save my money until I can afford it. That prob goes double for a club like that!! So what if alledgedly important ppl go there, she should want to be among friends. Essentially, she is freeloading. Anyway - that's mho!
Yup - freeloader. When I bartended a male friend came in. He sat next to a woman who had been drinking draft beer. He asked if he could buy her a drink. She ordered a White Russian with Absolute and Kahlua. I told her she was getting a draft beer. I can't stand that type!
post #9 of 23
Honestly my first thought was that is immature.

Why would you want to be so deceptive? Just so you can say you hang out at one of the most expensive places in town.

Not cool.
post #10 of 23
I think this is really more of an IMO thread.

But my thought is more for her safety than whether or not it sets back feminism. If a guy spends $50 on drinks for a girl, no matter how much he may have in his pockets, he may have bigger expectations of "Ginger" (or Mary Anne, or Mrs. Howell ) for the evening than she's planning for. Not to make a generalize statement about rich guys...OK, so I will. Some of them think they are entitled to a lot regardless of how much cash they lay down. Hopefully your friend doesn't run into any of those types.
post #11 of 23
I agree i think its immature and potentialy dangerous.
post #12 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScamperFarms
I agree i think its immature and potentialy dangerous.
I agree, especially about the danger. What if one of those guys she hit sup for drinks decides that by d@mn SOMETHING is going to happen and rapes her? And aside from that, the regulars have GOT to be getting wise to her scam...someday some guy is going to catch on and he likely isn't going to be happy about it...she could get hurt doing crap like that.
post #13 of 23
She goes to this club alone right?

What if someone buys her a drink and slips something in it? She could vanish and no one who know She wouldn't even know until she woke up....if she woke up

It makes me sad to think of what this girl is doing to herself and these men.

IMO she is playing with matches....pretty soon she will start a fire. If she is alone, no one will be there to help her put it out.

Bobbie
post #14 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4kids4cats
She goes to this club alone right?

What if someone buys her a drink and slips something in it? She could vanish and no one who know She wouldn't even know until she woke up....if she woke up

It makes me sad to think of what this girl is doing to herself and these men.

IMO she is playing with matches....pretty soon she will start a fire. If she is alone, no one will be there to help her put it out.

Bobbie
Can I retract my statement of "you go girl?" I often just write opinions without thinking.
post #15 of 23
I had a friend who used to do this a lot. Only not in the way most here are describing...

If memory serves, she would go to the bar with him to get it herself 99% of the time. Most of those places are nearly shoulder-to-shoulder crowded so it's easy to wiggle out of talking to someone who just bought you a drink if the conversation hasn't clicked. She's a big flirt and would get several *free* drinks from different sources who'd not expect more because the next time they saw her she'd be talking to someone else, and most likely so was he.

To a frequent clubber, it's kind of a dance... it seemed almost the culture of the scene. I was only a "frequent clubber" for a few months while I was sewing some wild oats after having lost 100 pounds, but watching her was like watching a pro in action. The men offering drinks seemed to be doing so as an ice breaker, an opening line if you will. Sure they were hoping it would progress past that but at least in her case, she rarely wanted it to and nobody ever seemed to get upset about it. Even in my limited experience, even after I had sat with one guy all night talking, with him buying drinks, I could tell him I needed to go home, take his number, and that was it. You'd always say goodbye in the middle of the crowded club & make your way out, quickly disappearing through the crowd... I admit it is dangerous (I think clubs in general can be), but it was actually kind of hard to get stuck alone with someone you were trying to ditch, where he could do you great harm.

I'm not defending it, but rather offering a different view on it I think. I never saw it as a threat to feminism, though. It just seemed to be 'what you do' in a place like that.
post #16 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by OllyExtra05
She goes to the club frequently enough that she's befriended the bouncer, so, she flirts with him and he lets her in for free. Then, when she gets inside, she lets guys buy her drinks, flirts with them to make them think something is going to happen, then gives them a fake name and fake phone #.
Whaddayou think?
Except for the fake name and fake phone #, I've heard hookers do the same thing.
post #17 of 23
I'd have to say that I agree, it's dangerous, foolish and immature. What is she really getting out of it? Bragging rights? Doesn't sounds as if even her friends are impressed.
post #18 of 23
Most guys I know who go out know they'll be buying girls drinks. It's like going to an arcade. You bring quarters, right? "May I buy you a drink?" is an ice-breaker and usually if you might be interested you say yes and he stays to chat; if you're not, you said no, and he goes away. Sometimes they just want to buy you a drink because they feel like it, and don't stay to chat anyway.

I would never pretend to like someone for free anything. It seems like she is keeping the same guy around all night to buy her drinks, otherwise she'd move on and get drinks from other guys without even having to offer her name or phone number. That leads me to believe she's leading them on for a while, since it gets to the name & number point--unless they're saying something like "I'll buy you a drink for your name & number."

I don't think there's anything wrong with accepting free drinks, but if you even feel the need to offer something in return--fake or not--that's another story.
post #19 of 23
It's stupid of her. She goes into the same club. She is bound to run into one of those guys she decieved sooner or later. She doesn't even know these men.
And they might hold a grudge.
post #20 of 23
Isn't feminism supposed to be about women having the option make choices (including mistakes) and have equal opportunities (including bad ones) available to them? I always find it rather inconsistent that many who so fervently espouse feminism will also condemn a woman for making a choice which does not fit their personal ideals.

I would consider this woman's behavior somewhat high risk, but it is her choice. When I was in college (in the '70s) there was a friend we would always invite to join us, Marie. She was a good friend and we all enjoyed her company, but we would also pay her cover charge when she didn't have money because whenever she was along guys were constantly sending pitchers of beer to the table. (It was something we all laughed about, including Marie. She knew that was not the main reason we'd invite her, but it sure was a bonus.) Of course, our groups were co-ed and usually 6 to 10 people. That was back in the day of $1.50 pitcher nights and a HIGH cover charge was $3.
post #21 of 23
Honestly I find her behavior replusive. This kind of behavior reflects badly on all women. Then again I don't like users and this is exactly what she's doing.

There are few enough good guys out there. If she runs across one and does this to him and he finds out? He'll probably stop being a good guy. And that ticks me off to no end.
post #22 of 23
Sounds like she has no freaking heart.

She's using her lovely looks and apparent lack of apathy towards the men to get tons of attention. I call women like that "Attention Ho's".
post #23 of 23
That is completely ignorant. Not just because its not something I would do, but because its dangerous. It doesnt matter if you are in a packed club or not! How many women get drugged at parties that are overflowing with people and "no one saw a thing...."? I have to hand it to her, shes pretty clever....but if she gets herself into a situation she cant get herself out of....fat chance being clever will help her then.....
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