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All cats are special in their own way - rant

post #1 of 32
Thread Starter 
We lost our sweet Molly in November and adopted Abby from the local shelter in January. We have had a few people tell us that they liked Molly better than they do Abby Could people possibly be more insensitive?

Molly was a special girl. She had to be one of the sweetest cats around. We had her for 8 years and dies at age 12. She was a giant marshmallow at the end who loved almost everyone who walked through our door. How quickly people forget that when we adopted Molly, she was terrified of people and we called jokingly called her "Nervous Nellie". It took a lot of love to get her to be the affectionate cat she was.


Abby was approximately 8 months old when adopted in January. The shelter did not have any backround info on her other than that she was brought in by the local Animal Control with a few other cats. Abby came to us with a skin allergy, conjuctivitus, an upper respiratory infection, ear mites and worms. We actually had a friend ask us why we always get damaged cats We spent her first few weeks with us giving lots of medication, so we lost any trust we had gained and went backward in our relationship with her. Normally we would get the arched back, sideways walking big-tailed Abby. Now, 7 months later, she is still a little skittish, we still see the arched back once in a while, but she greets us at the door purring. If she loses track of where we are in the house, she comes looking for us or meows so we go looking for her. She has finally decided that she is going to keep us.

Why can't people understand that love, trust and affection has to be earned and doesn't happen overnight?


Mods, I'm sorry if I posted this in the wrong spot, but I just had to vent. Thanks for listening.


Karen
post #2 of 32
I totally agree, and its not anyone elses business what kind of cat you have
post #3 of 32
Some people just don't *get* it. And it's hard to *get* them to understand.

Most of us here at TCS understand though.
post #4 of 32
Agreed!, here at TCS we understand!, all of our kitties have their own unique personalities just like people!, and that does make them special!
post #5 of 32
why do so many people act as though a cat or dog is "JUST an animal"? No one would have made these kind of insensitive remarks if you had adopted a human child.
post #6 of 32
Abby is a beautiful girl and perfect in her own right....the ones who don't get that don't deserve to know the wonders and joys of earning the love and affection of a sweet kitty!
post #7 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by ugaimes
Abby is a beautiful girl and perfect in her own right....the ones who don't get that don't deserve to know the wonders and joys of earning the love and affection of a sweet kitty!
Amen, sister!
post #8 of 32
Don't listen to anyone else! Every cat is special!
post #9 of 32
Every cat is special! YOu can't expect a little creature like that to trust you immediately - especially when she's been mistreated before(form the sounds of things) and when she's has to be force fed so many meds jsut to get her well again. What you put in, you will get back, but it takes time. How insensitive people are!
post #10 of 32
I am so glad that you were able to adopt Abby! You are so right to realize that she's a diamond in the rough! With the kind of negative menality that you're running into, no wonder you're feeling miffed!! Go ahead & vent all you want - we'll join you.
Those people just don't understand cats!!
I understand how you feel. My cat Joey is a Manx-mix with a rumpy tail & when I took JC & him in for their baby shots, the vet assistant (my neighbor) told me, "OH,no! a Manx! Manx are so mean - they get really aloof when they grow up, too. They don't like people. It's because they are part wild-cat." (this is the same woman who insists that pit bulls turn mean ONLY if they've been abused) and other people would tell me, "How can you stand looking at his *$$ all the time!" and things like that. It would hurt me so much; I love my little Joey, he's so sweet & precious and I couldn't understand why people want to be so critical. Once, I got mad about the *$$ comment, and not wanting to give them the satisfaction of a reaction, I just said, "Oh, can I offer you a breath mint? Sometimes I need them too, and I try to keep plenty on hand."
post #11 of 32
I've had a friends partner say he loves Sophie rather than Rosie The reason being was because Rosie's timid when it comes to strangers and runs off, so she didn't want to be petted, but Sophie goes to anyone.

Me being me i said " She obviously doesn't like you much either if she's ran away from you! "

Peoples brains are in their pants at times i tell you!!.

Good grief just look at Abby!, she's a beauty!!
post #12 of 32
You are fortunate that you even got your pets to a point where other people see them. Mine scatter to all the area of the house when someone comes. It is insensitive of your friends. As a previous post mentioned, some people look at animals as "just animals". In the end, it doesn't really matter what they think. You took wonderful care of your Molly and are doing the same with Abby. You love (d) them and they love (d) you back . That is what is important
post #13 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by ugaimes
Abby is a beautiful girl and perfect in her own right....the ones who don't get that don't deserve to know the wonders and joys of earning the love and affection of a sweet kitty!
Uh huh! Really...some people.......
post #14 of 32
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by catsknowme
"Oh, can I offer you a breath mint? Sometimes I need them too, and I try to keep plenty on hand."




Thanks so much everyone! It's so nice to be able to come here and talk to people who understand. My little girl is curled up on the floor next to me right now. I have calmed down a little, until someone else makes a foolish comment.
post #15 of 32
How about responding that she is very friendly with most people, she just doesn't seem to like you!

Thats kinda mean, but so is insulting your girl!

Best of luck in keeping your tongue with these people. And enjoy your kitty. She is lucky to have you!
post #16 of 32
Damaged cat? Ohmigod!!!! I'd have punched someone if they said that to me!!!!

The so-called "damaged" pets are the ones who need the most love... and IMHO, *give* the most love.

Yah I agree, some people's brains are in their pants. Apparently she has the type of pants with the little drawer in the back & her brains fell out at some point.

Cats like who they like. Cats are also very smart in telling who likes THEM. Perhaps your wonderful kitty can tell that your friend is the damaged one eh?
post #17 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbysMom
Why can't people understand that love, trust and affection has to be earned and doesn't happen overnight?
Oh Karen...I admit that I think like you and I figured the mostly of all owners here! ...
Here in my city doesn´t exist a culture to protect the homeless animals even the owners when they don´t like his own pet some times they relief far from their homes.... that´s not fair... ...And that is sad.... because the pets don´t ask to live in that or there home...
Sometimes is difficult to me to talk about my cat, because sometimes the say that I´m crazy about Milky they say that I´m overprotecting Pet Man... But I don´t care that coments.... ...I know that our furfriends has a soul and they love to us too!

Quote:
Originally Posted by goosehazel
Don't listen to anyone else! Every cat is special!
......And ...Laura in a few words express a whole life!
post #18 of 32
Hi Karen, Dont pay any attn. to those fools who ask about why wou would take in a damaged kitty. It takes special people to take in the unwanted cats and nurse them back to health and earn their love and trust but the reward is comensurate with the effort. Rufus has always been very accepting and likes almost everyone. Lukey barely tolerates a couple of my friends and actively hates everyone else. It took me a year to get him calmed down and turned into the love sponge he is today and I wouldnt have it any other way.
post #19 of 32
That was a mean thing to say. I think some people just see pets in a "what can they do for ME?" type way instead of what you can do for them.
post #20 of 32
Grrrr!!!
I have friends who continually talk about how great Lola is (presumably because she's still a kitten, and was a hand-raised bottle baby) and talk down about Leo, simply because he doesn't snuggle the way Lolers does. These people don't realize that you have to get to know animals the same way you have to get to know people. Lola has been handled by humans since she was orphaned at less than a week old. She trusts humans a lot more than Leo does, since Leo's background is that a family tried to take him in off of the street, got him fixed and attempted to keep him as a pet for a couple months...well, in a couple months off the street, this big feral tom apparently wasn't up to their liking as faer as being a good, docile, affectional kitty (the woman at the shelter mentioned something about kids, I think I remember), so they dumped him at a shelter. It took me almost 8 months to tame THAt wild beast, and although he's outgoing, there are two people in this world he will cuddle with, and that's me and my boyfriend.
post #21 of 32
Karen...I could not have said it better.
Thanks for posting this .... all cats are special.
Lei
post #22 of 32
I totally agree. My Taffy is the best and most affectionate, lovable, fun , playful kitty I could possibly have and she is extra special to me and my parents.


I think she rocks as a kitty and I wouldn't change her for the world.
post #23 of 32
I give you so much respect to have that kind of love for animals and patience to do it. What you are doing is wonderful and people need to know that instead of you going and getting a kitten you are saving a needed kitty that deserves to have love and a warm place that it knows it's safe and loved. You're doing a great job and we all know you are, some people look for the easy way to do things but doing it the hard way has a bigger pay off in the end as you know. Being able to see the change and the love they give you.
post #24 of 32
Oh Karen,when I hear how riduculous some people are, I just want to smack some sense into them! Don't let them get you! Your know your baby is very very very special!
post #25 of 32
I think it is OK for some people/cats to like other people/cats more than others (if you get my meaning!) Just as we have human friends we like especially then we can accept that we mesh with some cats more than others. But that doesn't mean we can insult the other ones! Among my friends there are those who always prefer one of my cats over the others, and my cats often prefer certain of my friends. Dushka will go straight to one of my friends, and sleeps on her bed if she stays over. To me it just proves that every cat is different with its own personality, just as my friends are.
post #26 of 32
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone.... it's nice to know I am not a raving lunatic. At least not in this situation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jennyranson
I think it is OK for some people/cats to like other people/cats more than others (if you get my meaning!) Just as we have human friends we like especially then we can accept that we mesh with some cats more than others. But that doesn't mean we can insult the other ones! Among my friends there are those who always prefer one of my cats over the others, and my cats often prefer certain of my friends. Dushka will go straight to one of my friends, and sleeps on her bed if she stays over. To me it just proves that every cat is different with its own personality, just as my friends are.
I agree that all cats are different with their own personality. Abby is a completely different cat than Molly. We were so hurt by the loss of Molly, we made sure we adopted a completely different cat - opposite color , very young, etc. We wanted to cut back on the comparisons by others, and ourselves. We knew that Abby was never going to a replacement for Molly, and don't expect her to be - but let's say we had adopted another middle-aged calico, comparisons would have been inevitable.

What bothers me the most, is that they aren't giving my baby a chance. These comments are coming from people who have only seen her once or twice. How can you compare an young cat, that we have had a few months, to a senior cat we had for 8 years? Give poor Abby time to settle in and get to know everyone.
post #27 of 32
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by CoolCat
Sometimes is difficult to me to talk about my cat, because sometimes the say that I´m crazy about Milky they say that I´m overprotecting Pet Man... But I don´t care that coments.... ...I know that our furfriends has a soul and they love to us too!

I've been thinking about this Rigel and it's really been bothering me. I am going totally off-topic here. Here in the US , it seems like it is OK for woman to be crazy about their pets, but not men, especially if that man owns a cat. My husband has experienced this at work before, and so have I. Anyone else run into this?
post #28 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbysMom
I've been thinking about this Rigel and it's really been bothering me. I am going totally off-topic here. Here in the US , it seems like it is OK for woman to be crazy about their pets, but not men, especially if that man owns a cat. My husband has experienced this at work before, and so have I. Anyone else run into this?
Amen! .....
post #29 of 32
Don't worry about a thing anyone says...You will only truly get support from fellow animal lovers....You are a courageous wonderful soul for adopting an adult cat with health issues and you should be commended for being so wonderful...
I got alot of flack from bringing Lovey into the house as he was aggressive and not very nice..I felt alot of pressure "to just give him back and go get a kitten"...but I knew that he would be worth it..Months later, he is my loving sweetheart...
Just give Abby time and try to ignore the comments.
post #30 of 32
I agree that people who do not share their lives with animals have NO clue what these little beings mean to us and how they enrich our lives. You will run into insensitive people everywhere, no matter what the subject matter. People just don't think before they open their mouths to say something, most of the time.

I worried what everyone would think of me getting Sophie only 2 days after Sunni died, but I finally decided that it didn't matter what anyone thought. This was my business and I had my reasons that those who really knew me would understand.

My rule is never judge someone, period. You enjoy Abby. That's all that matters. Those who don't understand don't need to.
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