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Having a blue day...long winded sorry!

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
Today is for me one of those very rare down days...as most of you know I left my home and family to move for work..and maybe that is affecting me more than I thought, but I just feel so stressed lately!

My significant other (god bless him, he is a real sweetheart) but the past couple of days he's been getting on my nerves. I have rarely gotten any time off lately and the only afternoon I get to spend with him he goes fishing. Ahhh!, he thinks that sitting infront of the TV together is quality time. He bugs me because I won't go fishing with him...he calls me crazy and says I need to toughen up...What!, I just moved to the middle of nowhere where the nearest "Gap" is a 5 hour drive!. I've sacrificed alot, I miss my mom and dad like crazy and just the sights and smells of my old hometown.

Sometimes I wonder if I made a mistake to come up here, my parents don't have enough money to come and visit me and I don't get enough time off to go and visit them. I don't have any friends here either.

I'm sorry I'm being so negative today..but I truly feel like all of you at TCS are the only real caring friends I have and I just had to vent. Thanks for listening guys.

Tracy
post #2 of 23
Awww Tracy Moving house is daunting enough never mind moving out the area!.

You certainly sound like you need some quality time to yourself.

Can you not arrange something say in a months time where you can go and spend some time with your family, or have you moved quite a distance?
post #3 of 23
Awww ss about how ur day is going...I been there alot...actully today too...I rather be by myself and just get away...everyone annoys me and everything seems to be my fault.

but this morning I went to my sisters house to get away from everyone..I was alone and my sister was at work and it was QUIET!!!

I know that it might not be an option for you,but maybe try to get some rest and be alone.while your hubby is away.


It sounds like you are really stressed out from all your work..Take it easy,remember it will get hard before it gets better!!!

I know I didn't help that much but if you like to pm me I am always checking,and we can talk some more........
post #4 of 23
A new job. A new town that you don't like much. Being away from your family. A boyfriend who should be more sympathetic and supportive. Tracy, it's no wonder you're feeling sad and stressed! I'm sending you some cheering vibes and a reassurance that on TCS you are among friends.
post #5 of 23
You just had a huge upheaval in your life, so I can understand you having the blues! It's allowed . My husband is also a sweetheart, but he too sometimes just doesn't get it. He has himself booked fairly solid for the next few weekends with golf and other outings. I am not going to complain though. We are going on vacation soon, and I will have him for a week straight. We will probably be sick of each other by the end.

I think it's time for you to make some friends, but that's never easy is it? Is there any kind of hobby, activity, etc that you can do and somehow meet people at the same time?

Is this where you plan on staying long term? Or is this short-term to get more flying experience?

No matter what, your TCS family is always here for you
post #6 of 23
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much for all of your words of encourgement...but things have gotten 100% worse in the last few hours.

I have been working at my new job for a month and a half now, and just about an hour ago while I was in at work my boss says to me that he needs to discuss with me the training bond that I have to sign!!

Until just today there has never been any mention of a training bond and now this guy says that I have to pay him $4000 dollars and stay for a year if I want to get some of it back. He says that if I can't afford to pay for the loan (which of course I can't I'm in the process of paying off other bills), then he can take the money off of my paycheck. I can't believe this!!!, I'm going to have to quit, I'm not sure what else to do!, this guy never told me that there would be a bond or else I never would have come up here in the first place!!, what do I do??
post #7 of 23
wow Tracy...WHAT A DAY....where do you work?thats not right?


My prayers are going to you tonight
post #8 of 23
Oh Tracy, that's awful! How can he expect you to come up with that much $$ or even have it taken out of your pay every week? W hat is this for? What kind of job is it???
post #9 of 23
Thread Starter 
It's a flying job, alot of companies do have training bonds...but they tell you up front. I wasn't told until tonight, over a month after my employment started.
post #10 of 23
I send hugs and prayers for you. You will be fine.
We are all here for you, whenever you need to talk. we love you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Mew
Today is for me one of those very rare down days...as most of you know I left my home and family to move for work..and maybe that is affecting me more than I thought, but I just feel so stressed lately!

My significant other (god bless him, he is a real sweetheart) but the past couple of days he's been getting on my nerves. I have rarely gotten any time off lately and the only afternoon I get to spend with him he goes fishing. Ahhh!, he thinks that sitting infront of the TV together is quality time. He bugs me because I won't go fishing with him...he calls me crazy and says I need to toughen up...What!, I just moved to the middle of nowhere where the nearest "Gap" is a 5 hour drive!. I've sacrificed alot, I miss my mom and dad like crazy and just the sights and smells of my old hometown.

Sometimes I wonder if I made a mistake to come up here, my parents don't have enough money to come and visit me and I don't get enough time off to go and visit them. I don't have any friends here either.

I'm sorry I'm being so negative today..but I truly feel like all of you at TCS are the only real caring friends I have and I just had to vent. Thanks for listening guys.

Tracy
post #11 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Mew
It's a flying job, alot of companies do have training bonds...but they tell you up front. I wasn't told until tonight, over a month after my employment started.
Can he do that? Is that legal?
post #12 of 23
I'm sorry you're having to deal with such a tough transition. Seems like a lot of guys think TV time is quality time these days! Don't ever feel badly for venting though, it helps to relieve the tension and stress and as I have found is such a great way to help lift your spirits. Good luck in your new location, things will work themselves eventually (I know, you've heard it a million times), and don't worry about having a "down" day. We all have to have them occassionally.
post #13 of 23
Oh Tracy! I am so sorry I wasn't on IM today - I will try to log in tomorrow if you need me.

Please tell him to show you in your employment papers where this was stipulated. Sounds like he is trying to close the barn door after the hens are already out! It may be "customary" but if didn't get an agreement from you before you started - how can he expect to get one now??
post #14 of 23
If he refuses to back down, could he meet you half way? Like take $100 out of each paycheck, but give you a $50 raise? I'm guessing not that many people want to come to the end of nowhere to pay $4000 for a job. And you have been there a month, and shown him your worth. Don't give up too easily. And let him know if he doesn't budge, you will be happy to return to your home and all the people and things you are missing! (Even if you don't want to go. Let him think about how he would manage without you!)

Best of luck. I'm sorry you are in such an awful spot!
post #15 of 23
I honestly don't know anything about if it is legal or not, but Tracy dear, please investigate and find out if he can legally change the rules one and a half months into your employment. Before you say yes or no to him, please check it out. If it's not legal, perhaps he's not the person to be working for anyway. He may try to "screw" you later after you've spent more miserable time working for him.

Cheer up honey, when one door closes another opens. Gain some strength from your friends here and take deep breaths, calm yourself and then you will be able to make wise, informed decisions.

Your significant other needs to be more understanding too. Does he not realize what a sacrifice you have made? I hope he "shapes up" and stands by you through this better than he has so far.

We're all here for you. Vent if you need to if it helps.

Hugs
post #16 of 23
I don't like the sound of that?!.

Do you have a contract of employment over there like we do here explaining everything about your job, hours of work, lunch breaks etc..?
post #17 of 23
I agree with what has been said so far, it's grossly unfair of your boss to move the goalposts after a month and a half! Do you have anything in the US like a Citizens Advice Bureau, where you can pop in and get a bit of free legal advice on this?

As for feeling blue, it's completely understandable! Can you schedule a week off in, say, a months time to go and visit your hometown? Having something to look forward to may just take the edge off things
post #18 of 23
Hoping you are having a better day today!
post #19 of 23
Hello Tracy...wondering how your day is going today.....I was looking at a website lastnight and the said even exercising relieves stress....Go for a walk and enjoy the fresh air out of no where......lol


Hope I hear from you soon and see how you r holding up...
post #20 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbysMom
No matter what, your TCS family is always here for you
....I couldn´t say better than Karen!....
Not advice Tracy for you... But I´m here to listen to you all the time! ...take care...
post #21 of 23
Thread Starter 
You guys are the absolute best!!, I thank each and everyone of you, your prayers and thoughts have given me strength over the past 24 hours....here is the update....

As we speak my boyfriend is on the phone to legal aid to see what I can do about all this. My boss refuses to budge...he says that I can either pay him the money up front or he can take it off my paycheck. Which is crap!.

I've very proud of the way I stood up to my boss today, I am usually a very timid person in real life but I stood my ground with him...(not that it got me anywhere!) but I was assertive..and that was a big step for me.

In the next couple of days, we'll see what happens, there is a strong possibly that I may be quitting my job, which is kinda scary but I can't let this guy steam roll me. I will keep you posted!!
post #22 of 23
I was wondering how that went, I'm a bit timid too so I totally understand. Don't let him steamroll you! Keep us updated.
post #23 of 23
Yeah for you standing up!

If it is that kind of company, then it is best to cut your losses early.
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