Getting another Kitty but worried

Hi there, new to these forums but was wondering if any of you could help...

I have had my cat Theo for about 2 years now. I rescued him from a stray cat centre after he had been found in an old lady's garden. I say I rescued him, but actually he chose me by bashing me across the head as i walked past his cage. I fell in love with him. When i first got him home he was a nightmare, very aggressive with me. For the next 6 months, it wasn't unusual for people to ask if i was self harming as the cuts to my arms were so severe from where he would just eye me up from across the room and then pounce.

Fortunately, over the last 18 months or so we have settled with each other very nicely. Apart from a week where he went off on a disappearing act. I was frantic. Otherwise, he's lovely, and although high spirited, self opinionated (V.vocal!), very loving now. i should probably mention that we live together alone, just the two of us.

recently i have been thinking about an addition for our little family though, and have thought about getting another cat. However, my mum, who has 6 cats (!) has warned that it might completely ruin his now nice personality, and make him sulky and mean spirited towards me and the new cat.

I was wondering what your advice might be? do you think it would work with a cat as egotistical as this one? He basically runs the house, and at times its like i'm his lodger!! If you think that he may benefit from a new cat, do you think it would be wise to get a kitten or a young cat? Any advice would be such help and i'm completely torn, but don't want to ruin the bond that Theo and i have worked so hard to get between us!!

Thanks in advance!

People here will tell you when i just had Rosie i was in such a state on wether i should take on another because Rosie was so affectionate i was so scared of losing that

I bit the bullet and decided to get Sophie

Although i kept them separated Rosie knew there was something going on, so after a couple of days i showed her Sophie from a distance. Rosie hissed and growled at both of us, even when i didn't have hold of Sophie she would growl at me and bat me with her paw, and this really upset me but there was no way i was giving up!.

Rosie then spent most of her time in the guest room which is their bedroom, but i'd go up to her every hour just to sit and talk to her just to let her know she was still loved

Rosie did change slightly with me at first such as not coming onto my lap anymore, but she does now that she knows Sophies not a threat

Then 2 weeks later Sophie wandered into what i thought was the kitchen for something to eat, but after 15 minutes when she didn't come back i started to panic thinking Rosie had her between her jaws!, but this is what i found, so with a little patience you can do it as well!

Oh god, they are so lovely in that picture. Was Rosie completely the apple of your eye before you had Sophie? Or rather, you the apple of her eye? Its mad isn't it that we stress so much about this, almost like worrying whether to have another child or not!

I worry the most that he will just go off and leave me if I get another kitty. Sad i know, but he so fiercly reminds me that he is in control. Argh! Decisions decisions! Thank you so much for your reply though, and so glad that it worked out so well for you x

Hi Foxy,

I decided to share my story as well. For those who were following my saga, it was a mess from Day One, but getting better slowly each day. Some days are better than others, complete with breakthroughs like "Wow, maybe they will actually get along now." Then one of them swats the other on the head and we're like "DAG!" LOL

Anyway, it depends on your alpha cat's personality. Do you think she would benefit having a playmate when you are not around? Does she handle "alone time" all right when you are not around? Well, obviously, you don't know that, but is she friendly and cuddly when you get home?

The thing is with me, people told me my somewhat shy girl (Cassie) would probably loosen up with another cat around. So we got Napoleon, who is the complete opposite of her -- he is wild, rambunctious, extremely inquisitive, loves to be around people. Cassie is mellow, likes to play on her terms, surveys the premises, is like "Whatever" with new things, and likes to be around my boyfriend and I mostly, but other people she needs to warm up to as she is extremely shy. She reacted badly to Napoleon at first but she is coming around. He needs to understand that she likes to be left alone, and not play 24 hours a day.

It goes without saying that every day, my boyfriend and I agonize that our "old" Cassie won't return, though there are some glimmers that she's still there, just angry there is another cat in her domain -- making "biscuits" on my stuffed animals, climbing on my boyfriend at night, purring sometimes. Every day is one of those, do we bring Napoleon back to the shelter or not. Which at this point would KILL us because we really like him.

So it's been about 2 weeks that they've been socializing with or without supervision. It's been good not great. Sometimes, stressful because she was on our schedule (going to bed with us at night, resting during the day, eating when we are at home) and he is nocturnal, I'd forgotten what a nocturnal cat was like LOL.

So the bottom line is...you need to do what's best for you and your kitty. I think it's more the norm than the exception to have cats who hiss and growl and take time to coexist rather than have them be all cuddly from day one. In an ideal human world, that's what would happen LOL. Good luck with your decision.

So the bottom line is, you

Apple of my eye is an understatement! I promise you i was a basketcase thinking should i, shouldn't i?!.

First i said yes to Sophie, then i would look at Rosie being all loving with me, then i would start crying thinking what she would be like.

The only way i can describe how i felt was i had this picture in my head of Rosie walking away with her head bowed down thinking " my mum doesn't love me anymore! and i'll be honest, it did seem like that at first because of the way she reacted, but looking back now getting Sophie was the best thing for both of us because Rosie has a playmate, and i get twice as much love back

Argh.. you poor things.. dilemmas!

Theo is the funniest cat i have ever had. As in strangest. In some ways, he's an absolute dream.. when i first got him he found and used the cat litter as soon as he came through the door and continued to do so, i've never had any problems with his toilet behaviour. He's adapted brilliantly to the three different places that we have lived since i got him, although he seems so happy where we are now. He rules 'our' roost completely though. He comes and goes as he pleases and if i ever try and obstruct his access from the house (ie.. worming and flea time)he goes berserk and doesn't have any contact with me for another day. When me and my ex broke up, (we lived together) bizarrely i moved within the area and later on my ex bought a flat directly opposite me. (don't even ask, its ok now though) Theo adored my Ex, and as soon as he started moving his stuff into the flat Theo was there. He now divides his time 70:30 between the two of us. (in other words, sorted out his own custody battle he he!) He is fussy when it comes to his dinner and insists on only 1 brand of food. He literally beat me up for 6 months and although he now has chilled out immensely he occasionally just spazs out for no reason and pounces! I only have myself to blame for falling in love with a cat that beat me over the head!

The most bizarre thing that has happened though was that i came home from work the other day to find Theo and another cat from down the street chilling out together in the living room. Literally on opposite ends of the same sofa. asleep as if they had known each other all their lives!! I mean... what the?!

Just a bit more info so you can get more of a picture what he's like. By the way, he's only like this at home... out on the street he gets bullied cos he's a tiny little thing with great long legs ( i think he is a cross Turk Abyssinian/ Ginger Tabby).

Sorry to go on.. just so worried about doing the right thing!?!

Since I got Critter last week, Gremlin has been giving me the evil eye, hasn't been coming to me, and hasn't purred with me like he normally does.

I still have hope his old self will return at somepoint once he is more comfortable with the new kitten.

Originally Posted by home.slice

Since I got Critter last week, Gremlin has been giving me the evil eye, hasn't been coming to me, and hasn't purred with me like he normally does.

I still have hope his old self will return at somepoint once he is more comfortable with the new kitten.

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Hi Home Slice, while I know it must be painful for you, wondering what's going on your little Gremlin's mind, I have to say I am relieved that others are going through what I am going through . I'm sure things will work out for the best. They better! Otherwise, curse those people who have absolutely no problem introducing other elements into the mix!!!

Good luck to you all... hope they get used to it soon and you won't have to worry about your little ones anymore. Just thinking about my monster makes me want to go home and snuggle him!

Foxy -- most cats are strange, meaning "funny." Cassie has an interesting psychology. People (meaning non-cat people) think I'm nuts because I constantly psychoanalyze her, but it's almost a necessity to figure out why she's nuts LOL. For example, she is a calico. Nuff said -- typically the worst cats to deal with (meaning, trying to reason with them, it's their way or the highway). She also was separated from her mother when she was just a little over 2 weeks old...she has been socialized almost exclusively with humans since then and she is 3 years old and a couple of months over. She is not the most affectionate per se, but can be when she wants. The other night, I was awake with the worst indigestion and she laid on me while I tried to go to sleep. I couldn't sleep anyway but the thought was there, that if she wanted to take care of me, everything is all right .

As for Napoleon, we don't know a lot about his background except that he was found in NYC, we adopted him from a shelter and the vets their guesstimated he was about 3 years old, though his mannerisms suggest 1.5 to 2 years old (cat crazies, being fearless, attacking everything). We also suspect he may have been a "university cat" because he was found right around Columbia U in NY and right around graduation. He also goes NUTS for pizza and Chinese food!! We also think he may have been neglected...think about it, if he was in a college dorm or off-campus apt, owners were probably like -- I have $10 left...beer money or cat food? He has a lot of nightmares and talks in his sleep, so I think he just craves attention and worships Cassie! Meanwhile, she's all, "I'm the star of the show, OK?" He has to learn that, but he's very adaptable.

Another interesting tidbit about Cassie, is that she is pretty resilient. She adapted to very human like qualities. She uses her box with no concerns but has had a lot of trauma this year alone, something my boyfriend and I never recognized. First off, we moved late in 2004. She had to adapt to a new environment. She adjusted pretty well, but in our old apartment, we had LARGE windows with lots of birds outside, which she went nuts over. Now she has almost zero interaction with nature because of the situation in our new apt. THEN back in June, we made it a point to get her teeth cleaned, she had a bad reaction to the anesthetic and was incapacitated for almost 2 days! She adjusts back, then we bring home Napoleon. She was NOT happy but seems to be OK, not back to her normal self but manageable. I have confidence she will be fine...

But here's another kicker...my boyfriend and I hate the current living situation and are moving AGAIN in November. I have confidence that she will be like your cat, Foxy -- like the living situation so much better, and plus she will have lots of nature interaction there as well .

So sorry to ramble, but I really love this board -- my cats drive me nuts but I still love them to bits. I feel like this is the only place that can understand me!!!

I've only just discovered this board and i feel the same.. normally i'm like "oh god, you have to listen to this, today Theo did blah blah blah" and i see my friends eyes glaze over, and i can SEE them thinking.. its a bloody cat, its a bloody cat! I actually laugh out loud at Theo, he is so comical at times. Luckily the Ex adores him as well, so he will often regail tales of what he's done over there. The ex even installed a catflap for the little monkey so he kind of has 2 homes!
Blue - i hope that Cassie gets through it ok, they are so amazingly resilient aren't they? Sounds like she;s a little ray of sunshine, and Napolean sounds as mad as Theo!!

Hope you don't mind me telling you this little ditty:

When i got Theo, I had assumed that i would just 'know' what to call him when i saw him, but i didn't have a clue really. For a couple of days, i called him Alfie, but it just didn't fit.. it seemed too roguish for this very slight, very pointy nose.. he looked more like a Lord Fauntleroy, but i couldn't see me shouting that out of the back door at dinner times! In the end, I wrote a load of names that i liked onto slips of paper with a single treat on and spread them across the living room. He looked at these for a few minutes and sniffed around the patch of slips for a while, until he finally rested and ate the treat on Theo! Hey presto.. after a little christening i've never looked back.. he is 100% a Theo!!

Originally Posted by foxyfantastica

I've only just discovered this board and i feel the same.. normally i'm like "oh god, you have to listen to this, today Theo did blah blah blah" and i see my friends eyes glaze over, and i can SEE them thinking.. its a bloody cat, its a bloody cat! I actually laugh out loud at Theo, he is so comical at times. Luckily the Ex adores him as well, so he will often regail tales of what he's done over there. The ex even installed a catflap for the little monkey so he kind of has 2 homes!
Blue - i hope that Cassie gets through it ok, they are so amazingly resilient aren't they? Sounds like she;s a little ray of sunshine, and Napolean sounds as mad as Theo!!

Hope you don't mind me telling you this little ditty:

When i got Theo, I had assumed that i would just 'know' what to call him when i saw him, but i didn't have a clue really. For a couple of days, i called him Alfie, but it just didn't fit.. it seemed too roguish for this very slight, very pointy nose.. he looked more like a Lord Fauntleroy, but i couldn't see me shouting that out of the back door at dinner times! In the end, I wrote a load of names that i liked onto slips of paper with a single treat on and spread them across the living room. He looked at these for a few minutes and sniffed around the patch of slips for a while, until he finally rested and ate the treat on Theo! Hey presto.. after a little christening i've never looked back.. he is 100% a Theo!!

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What a fun story about naming your kitties! Cassie got her name, well basically because we thought it was pretty and she really is a beautiful cat. Her full name is Cassiopeia, after the constellation. And the vets always make such a big deal about her when she goes in. She has a "crush" on one of the lab techs and she doesn't like anyone LOL! Napoleon's full name is Napoleon Dynamite and he got his name b/c he's a little stick of dynamite!!

I know she'll pull through, she is just on strike from the rest of us right now. Good luck in deciding what you are going to do, in terms of getting a new playmate for your cat.