Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry to hear this.
I lost a dear friend to suicide ten years ago... will be 11 years on November 14th... and nobody saw it coming. Nobody understood it, and nobody was left untouched, all wondering what we could have done the night before just to stop it from happening. For the last five years, I've been the only person I know who has still gone to where he fell to lay a rose on the 14th Nov, and sing for him.
All I can do is offer a shoulder, a prayer and all the love in the world for you and your family. I hope that with all of us together, it might be enough to see you through for a while.