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Problem with cat, need help

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
I got my cat about last year...hoping he would be a nice friendly cat who loved me, slept with me at night, played with me. But..he acts kind of weird.

he gets very hiper very fast. For example, he doesnt realy like to sleep with me, he runs away, and he usually bites me when I play with him..ALOT. What he does, is hes lazy and lies down sometimes, when I start petting him, his pupils dilate and he starts to jump at me, attack, bite. but he NEVER scratches, just bites and gnaws on your arm like its steak. He doesnt really like to follow me and play with me... He also once found out where I hid the catnip, spilled it all over the floor... I came, I found him licking a ton off the ground, he then started to roll on the floor on his stomach and back, and dragging himself on the carpet...he seemed very...*stoned* for a cat. He is really agressive, and bites alot when playing, and gets hyper. I just want him to like me alot and to think of me as his master..because he sure doesnt treat me like it. Like the kind of cat that would just, come to your lap while your watching TV and sit with you.
post #2 of 24
Is he neutered? Might be the source of his aggression. Usually when cats dilate their eyes it means they're going to pounce/attack.

Does he have any toys? Try shoving a stuffed animal in his face when he attacks you and shake it around so he attacks the toy instead of you. Try to get him to associate the toy with play and not your arm.

My cat used to do similar things too. I'd be sitting at the kitchen table eating, and I'll reach down to pet her, and then I'll stop because I see her ears flattening, and then out of the blue she'll jump up, grab my arm and bite me. Every time she bit me, I got up, and left, either went into my room and closed the door behind me so she couldn't follow, or left the apt. I started to play with her with a string and she attacks that zealously, and after she gets tired of chasing it around I'll sit down to pet her and she usually doesn't bite. I'd also feed her little bits of tuna (she loves tuna) and pet her while she's too busy gobbling. Sometimes she'll get mad at me and start lashing her tail and if I don't get it, she'll grab my arm and put her teeth on me, but won't bite anymore.

Now I harass her occasionally so she gets used to it. I'll push her over so she lays down and then roll her onto her belly and rub her belly (she actually seems to enjoy this now, before she'd get mad). Or I'll tug lightly on her paws while she's lying down (really helps with nail clipping, she's so used to me handling her paws that she doesn't even respond most of the time, and other times she'll just pull away). If she does end up biting me, then it's usually because I've gone too far and I deserve it, but she's getting better about it. She protests more vocally now and I'll stop when she does.

There's a product called feliway, it's pretty expensive, but I heard it could help with nervous cats.
post #3 of 24
Thread Starter 
no, he isnt neutered
post #4 of 24
That is part of the problem. The solution is to get him neutered quickly, or else you will live with a tomcat that will begin to spray your home, and become more and more aggressive.
post #5 of 24
Yes, get him neutered. His hormones are working and he has no outlet except aggression.
post #6 of 24
Thread Starter 
I really dont want to nuetuer my cat. I hear they become depressed and fat when you neuter them... and I dont want to do that to him
post #7 of 24
They only get fat if you let them. Intact your cat will fight with you, with other cats, and yes he will get outside especially during kitten season. You open him up to testicular cancers, and he will be just another problem cat in the neighborhood. Outside he is prone to be poisoned, run over by a car, or attacked by other tomcats. Why do you think so many rescue organizations are so adament about neutering tomcats? Why do they risk life and limb to trap aggressive males and then get them neutered to re-release them into the world?

You want your cat to not get fat? Then you play with him every day interactively with toys like Da Bird, and laser light- you provide him stimulation to encourage him to climb- cat condos and cat posts, cat ramps and cat shelves. You don't overfeed him, you keep him current with his vaccinations and he will live a long happy life with you. I have fourteen cats- with 9 being males, not one of my cats is lazy, or fat-
post #8 of 24
I have had a number of male cats and none of them got fat or depressed after neutering. Each cat has its own personality and some are more playful than others, but neutering does not change that. There is always a danger that indoor cats will get fat through lack of exercise, but it is up to the owners to provide lots of play and stimulation. Please do neuter him - he must be very unhappy, not able to express his natural instincts, which is why he is aggressive.
post #9 of 24
Thread Starter 
well...he goes outside every day for 3 hours or so...god knows what he does out there Most likely mates. But there have been cases where he keeps biting me..and doesnt let go...he does NOT let go. I take him off..and he...dont mean to sound nasty, has an erection
post #10 of 24
Get him neutered. Make the apt. tomorrow & do it.
post #11 of 24
Originally Posted by Iron_samurai
well...he goes outside every day for 3 hours or so...god knows what he does out there Most likely mates. But there have been cases where he keeps biting me..and doesnt let go...he does NOT let go. I take him off..and he...dont mean to sound nasty, has an erection
this should tell you more than anything that he needs to be done!

because cats are 'traditionally' done at 6months people have mistook the natural maturation and slowing down of a young adult cat to be a side effect of neutering.

you will seriously live to regret not neutering him if you dont do it soon. he will be mean and un-managable.

the traditional 'lap cats' or at least the ones i've known ahve all been neutered toms. this is because they no longer feel the need to dominate, mate and defend thier territory and can relax and enjoy the good things in life.
post #12 of 24
I also don't like that it's necessary to neuter male cats. I hate it actually. But it REALLY IS NECESSARY. It will make an amazing difference in his behaviour and agressiveness. And as he gets older he's more susceptible to cancer and other health issues if he isn't "fixed".

He won't get fat or depressed as long as you keep him active and provide the food, toys, treats and sunshine he enjoys. He very probably has a sweet personality that will show up.

Rescue Remedy really works for some cats who are nervous.
post #13 of 24
A neutered cat will not get fat nor depressed and in fact, will live a longer healthier life. There are many forumlas on the market for kitties who live indoors now and some good top grade quality cat foods available. Cats only become overweight if you feed them too much and if they do not get enough exercise - a prob that has nothing to do with whether a male cat is neutered or not.

Pls neuter him - he will be at less risk for disease and certain types of cancer.
post #14 of 24
The sooner the cat is neutered the less of an effect it'll have. Actually, from the sounds of it, it's a bit late. Neutering your cat now will throw him into hormonal instability, but after a bit it should settle down and he'll have mellowed out. My cousin adopted a male kitten about a year ago and he was never neutered. He was the most aggressive cat I've ever seen, and when he bit, he REALLY bit. After a year he ran out of the house one day when the door was open and he never came back.

Also, the type of food you feed to your cat has a huge effect on physique. Feeding cheap supermarket brands will make your cat fat, give him kidney and liver problems and shorten his lifespan. Good quality foods like Nutro will make him eat less, give him more energy even though he's eating less, and keep him healthier. If you're really worried about him getting fat, feed him on a schedule, and feed him the same amount everyday (i.e. a cup and a half of food everyday at 6pm), if he's getting fat, then just cut back on the amount you feed him just a tad bit.

I'm not saying it's too late to do anything. I'm just saying it's going to be rough times for a bit, but in the end it'll be worth it. You just have to be willing to put up with it.
post #15 of 24
You probably might think we're all sounding a bit like broken records, here, but for the sake of your cat's happiness it is very important to get him neutered. In fact, if you want to save your cat from becoming depressed neutering is probably a better option than not doing it! He is aggressive because his male hormones are really taking over his body and he has no other outlet.

If, as you say, you don't know what he does when he's outside for three hours each day, he is more than likely terrorising the neighbourhood cats - or however far he feels he wants to roam, being an un-neutered Tom. He will undoubtedly start to become a nuisance and as a result he is much more susceptible to be poisoned, killed or captured and taken to a shelter than if he was a happy neutered cat living indoors with you. Not to mention the number of litters he may have already helped to bring into the world - a world that does NOT need increases in it's number of unwanted kittens.

You must do the right thing by your cat and have him spayed as quickly as possible. The procedure is inexpensive and quick, he will recover well and you will both be much happier! There is a good chance that the affection you crave and do not get from him will replace the aggression he gives you now once his hormones calm down.

I have never come across a depressed or fat neutered male cat - in fact they are all the biggest, most affectionate softies ever! Much more so than the female cats I've had.
post #16 of 24
I lived with an unneutered tom cat for a while (not my choice, not my cat) and he sprayed everywhere. It's not like normal cat pee, it's a lot stronger and it doesn't wash out easy. Beds, shoes, carpets, bags, clothes, against cupboards, walls and doors. He'd even do it when you were sat down watching tv, just walk up, spray your legs, and walk away again. I can't tell you how many wet patches I accidently sat in, or how much the entire house stank. It was truely awful.

As soon as he was fixed, he stopped, and he hasn't done it since. He also hasn't become depressed or fat.
post #17 of 24
Thread Starter 
Man...Yesterday night I was playing with him, and he bit my like crazy, I got so pissed. I really want to neuter him now... I just want to play with him and have him like me. Heck I brought him here! Is it bad to feed him like canned tuna (The kind we eat) And some turkey slices from the deli (Not the proscessed kind, the fresh kind) he sometimes loves those, and I reward him with those things. anyone recommend a certain brand of food that I can find at a nearby petco or petsmart or whatever?
post #18 of 24
tuna can be bad as it has high salt content if in brine and also some cats can be addicted to it!

it also has very little nutritional value for them. theres another reason too but i forget which

its ok as a treat and in small doses. mine get tuna about every 10-14 days or when they are being good.
post #19 of 24
I cannot imagine why you would not want to neuter him. He's outside impregnating how many females (that other people don't want to neuter) and producing kittens that could possibly be feral and reproduce again and again and there will be many kittens as a result of this cat you don't want to neuter.

The only fat, lazy cats I've seen are indoor cats with lazy owners. If you say you want him to play with you and be your friend get him neutered and play with him and he WILL be your friend. Neutering calms their "roaming" instincts.
post #20 of 24
Originally Posted by Yosemite
Neutering calms their "roaming" instincts.
Exactly! This is one of the important reasons to have him neutered. Without it, he will roam farther and farther looking for more/other cats to mate with. His chances of being hit by a car, stolen, picked up by animal control, or some other terrible thing are much greater the more and farther he roams. Having him fixed will greatly increase his chances of living longer for those reasons alone in addition to all the other benefits.
post #21 of 24
Originally Posted by Iron_samurai
Man...Yesterday night I was playing with him, and he bit my like crazy, I got so pissed. I really want to neuter him now... I just want to play with him and have him like me. Heck I brought him here! Is it bad to feed him like canned tuna (The kind we eat) And some turkey slices from the deli (Not the proscessed kind, the fresh kind) he sometimes loves those, and I reward him with those things. anyone recommend a certain brand of food that I can find at a nearby petco or petsmart or whatever?
I wouldn't feed like Albacor tuna to your cat, unless it's like a tiny speck every once in a while. Turkey I would hesitate. Even the canned tuna that's made for cats, I only give a quarter to a third of the can to my cat mixed with a lot of water (easy trick to get her to drink some more since she drinks so little).

Feeding fresh turkey and fish might also trigger hunting response and might be the reason he's biting you (especially if your hands smell like food). Or he might be "muscle-ing" you around to see if he can bully you into giving him more of the kind of food he wants. A domination game if you will.

I recommend Nutro Natural Choice for Indoor Adults for adult cats. It's kinda pricey, but they're always having those $2 off stickers pasted to them and the cut down on the price alot. There are other good foods out there too, it's just convenient for me to get Nutro since everyone has it and I always have coupons for it. For canned food I feed anything that's 90-something% or more tuna (9-lives is the one I feed most). I feed soft food very sparingly. One or two cans a month, or if I need to hide a pill in their food. I stay away from any foods that have corn meal, wheat meal, brown rice, anything that's not meat as the first three ingredients.

Also, what do you do when your cat bites you? Just curious. Depending on your reaction to your cat biting, you might also be causing him to be afraid of you, and incite him to bite you even more. Best thing to do is to let your arm go limp and scream or make a loud noise to surprise him (yeah, I know, I sound like I'm nuts telling you to hold still while your cat's clamping down as hard as he can on your hand, but it's better than tugging and having him dig his claws into you and shred your arm up, or retaliating on your cat by smacking him and then him learning to be afraid of you). I know this one lady who owns a foster home and she has like a "time-out cage" and all her cats now know what "time-out" is.
post #22 of 24
You shouldn't feed fresh tuna designed for human consumption to cats because it can cause a deficiency in Vitamin E, which can lead to kidney and other problems. I only found this out recently because I'd been feeding Sashka human tuna and wondering why she was eating every bit of polystyrene she found in the house! It's okay as a treat every now and again - as is the turkey. But not as a matter of course.

You also need to remember, as much as you want your baby to be your friend and like you, cats are very different to dogs and will bestow their affection when it suits them. It is not something you can force - in fact trying to do so will more than likely make your cat even more wary of you. It is something you need to do slowly and neutering him is going to help SO much with that. But he might not turn table and love and adore you straight away, and want to be with you all the time. They are loving animals but also solitary animals and like to have their space. I wouldn't want you getting your hopes up and then being disappointed because he isn't quite up to what you expect.

Part of the joy of having a cat is their wonderful independent personalities - and when they do love you (which they nearly all do, eventually) it really feels like it's because you've earned it and they trust you. Not like dogs which love you no matter what.

I'm not saying it won't happen, it probably will, I'm just saying it takes time and patience on your behalf - don't be disappointed in your little critter because he isn't behaving the way you want him to.
post #23 of 24
Tuna of any kind has mercury and other heavy metals - with the per food quality being worse. My YY likes tuna(as do most kitties) amd I sometimes will give her a VERY tiny amt but not often. Buy your cat good quality human grade cat food and he will be healthy! Hills Science, Royal Canin, Wellness are all quite good I understand. I feed mine Wellness. It might be costlier but you save on vet bills in the long run.
post #24 of 24
Yes, please get him neutered, for his happiness and your own.
If he's out mating, he's opened up to a whole slew of diseases, and if he's carrying any, he exposes every cat he mates with to them.
And don't ever think that he will think of you as his master, cats don't work like that.
He may come to think of you as his friend, his playmate, his provider and protector, but he will never think of you as his master.
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