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The ring is off (very long) - Page 3

post #61 of 78
Thread Starter 
my mum n dad are still living together so im not going back.
i have to clear a few things
he has not cheated on me in the last year. (i have been to a doctor for stds and im clear)

he isnt an alcoholic, last night our neighbours invited us to have a glass of their wine, wine got to sambuca, and other mixed drinks. by midnight i couldnt walk!
even though i only had one glass of wine, one glass of beer and two shots of snaps, but because i kept on switching around i couldnt even walk i had to go upstairs at about 11:30 because i felt so sick!
anyway he stayed down there with the landlord untill 5 am, this was when the landlady came downstairs to tell her husband off for being up so late!
it was the first night where we got to know our landlady properly and we got to sit in the garden.

He didnt like my make up back when i was 16, but when we went to sicily he liked it and he was encouraging me wear make up and different clothes when we came back. (just to get this clear) i see i didnt add things in yesterday.

Thank you everyone for your support and vibes
post #62 of 78
Originally Posted by Hydroaxe
Looks aren't everything ya' know!
Yeah i know but he's talking about going to be with her after 3 weeks without seeing her?!

So Fran, am i reading that you taking him back after everything he's done?!.

I've got friends who are in the same position as you at the moment, but worse. He does these online chat rooms, and the minute they fall out it's the first place he goes to.
post #63 of 78
My auntie is just getting out of a marriage and he is very controlling and he mentally abuised her and hes cheated. But she has been with him for 10 years! once a cheater always a cheater sorry but its true !

lara x x
post #64 of 78
Fran I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a tough time

I know from experience that people often can't leave a relationship until they are ready, no matter how many times friends tell them that their man is no good, they need to fully realise it for themselves.

Be strong, and I'm sure that out there somewhere is a man who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve, and who doesn't believe that cheating is inevitable.
post #65 of 78
Thread Starter 
no im not taking him back.
He let me read all of their conversations on his computer this morning and i told him he was an idiot. He just sent her away. because she got really weird.
She was telling him how she was a model the other day but when you look at her she could never be one? and just before she was telling him how she went to a party last night and she had an orgasm by just watching the dj!
He doesnt like party girls who just go to big clubs and pick up. and i told him yesterday that even if he were to have her they wouldnt last more than 6 months because i know his way of doing things and if he had someone who could think mentally like him but then do the opposite of what he likes he would just go crazy.
She was talking about getting married to him and wishing she could sleep with him.
And if you already think about marrying someone from not even seeing them it just proves shes one of those women who want money because she thinks he is really rich.
i will be back later with this post because i just got a snail mail from a special memeber on this site!
post #66 of 78
Fran - I wouldn't even get dragged into talking about his conquests over the internet. It's just a waste of your energy. He's trying to justify his actions. Now, you need to put your energy into finding out your options, where you will be living and what you can do to ensure your independence.

I know it's not easy, but he must get on with his life now and you must secure your future.

Sending tons of hugs your way. You can do this
post #67 of 78
fwan, I am so sorry to hear about all of this. I don't know if you still want advice but I was a similar situation a few years ago.

First, I know you really care about this guy and you sound like a really wonderful person...so that is why you need to move on.

Let me tell you, I wasted 4 years of my life with a guy like that...from age 23-27...he was just a borderline sociopath who lied about almost everything except his name! Kept telling me he would never cheat, he'd never do anything to hurt me, blah, blah, blah...come to find out, there had been 5 to 10 girls that I uncovered. Who knows how many more! He was an immature jerk who wanted it all and I'm sorry to say that but these guys NEVER change. They only care about themselves.

Don't be scared to move on...it sucks being single at first but you will be opening your heart up to someone who will treat you that way that you deserve to be treated. Like a princess! They're out there, believe me! Don't waste your time like I did...your twenties are one of the best times in your life!!!

Good luck...and just know...we're always hear to listen!!
post #68 of 78
First to say that I am so sorry that you have been hurt so badly by your boyfriend, but now is the time to love yourself and get out and on with your life, I know that when your young it feels like it will never get better but it does and it will. So be the fairy that your name always make me think of and start a new chapter in your book of life. Love and best wishes to you. Debbie
post #69 of 78
im thinking of you fwan (fran) hang in there i took my first step today with the realtor and put my Dads place up for sell today and when that sell's next im putting this place up for sell i hope to beback in florida soon take things one day at a time life is to short and some people find that out after its to late you still have a great furture a head of you hang in there

post #70 of 78
Originally Posted by fwan
I can't call anyone because my voice is choking on tears,
I have no friend to run away to because i never made any around here,
Who am i supposed to turn to appart from TCS?
Oh Dear Fran..... this is the most beautiful quote that I never see it to refer in general to TCS! .....I feel the same too...
Originally Posted by fwan
I dont expect anyone to reply.. or condolences.. i have to write it down somewhere and let people read it before i make my self go crazy.
Good Choice Fran.. I´m not a good speecher and less a good advicer i this kind of events, BUT, you has my heart listen to you ...One Univeral true is this...."No body can you make you feel bad, without you agreement"...In other words, I know you´re hurt now but take yourself your time and the answer is your Heart! ....

You has a pair of ears to listen to you every time that you needed Fran, in me....
post #71 of 78
Fran, I'm sorry about what you are going through. You are such a sweet woman with a wonderful sense of humor. Many many men would be honoured to be your boyfriend. Don't settle for anyone who doesn't treat you with the respect and love you deserve.
post #72 of 78
Fran, I am sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. You are a wonderful person, like others here that have mentioned. I went through a crazy time in a just a few months when I was 17, the guy was an absolute pyscho. Luckily, I had friends make me realize I needed to have a healthier relationship. Now, I am in a wonderful marriage because I focused on getting my life together and I knew exactly who I was and I knew who I wanted. Remember, you always have your friends here! One of my dear friends lives in Berlin...he's like a brother to me. I should get ya'll to meet and become buddies!
post #73 of 78
All your friends here have said everything. The only thing I can add is make a list pros and cons of this relationship. Is it worth all the heartache you have gone though??
Take care of yourself and keep us posted.
post #74 of 78
Geez Fran, I wish there was something I could say to help make this breakup easier for you. I know we've never talked alot, but do know that I am thinking about you. It's sounds cheesy, but, time will help make it better. I'll always listen if you ever need anyone to talk to. Hang in there.
post #75 of 78
Come on people... it's Fwan... not Fwaaaan. Can't you say youwr awre's pwopewrly?

I won't repeat anything, but I just want to say hang in there Fwan.
post #76 of 78
Thread Starter 
aw wyan why dont yew mawwy moi? yewd make a pewfect bowyfwiend
Teufel has goen to the vet today
post #77 of 78
Originally Posted by fwan
aw wyan why dont yew mawwy moi? yewd make a pewfect bowyfwiend
Teufel has goen to the vet today
Oh chick.....don´t Feel Alone, We are here next to you! ..all your friends of TCS!!! ..

Teufel is going to be All right!
post #78 of 78
I am so sorry to read this honey After you posted to my thread I had to come see what was wrong. Why is two years always a breaking point?? :-\\ John was my longest realtionship and it will be hard to get over. Guys are poopoo heads and I dont know why I put up with them. Can't live with em can't live without em eh? lol We can get through this together. If you need anything PM or email me. I'm always around.
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