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Temperamental Diva, HELP!

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 
I got Scarlett from the SPCA about a year ago. She's probably two years old now. She doesn't like to be petted. She will take a little petting on her cheek but that's it. She's not affectionate in the least. I had a problem with her peeing on things. I've moved to a new house and I haven't noticed her peeing. She even peed on me while I was sleeping! However, I recently got a new male kitten and she won't use the litter box. She goes beside it. I'm finding poo but don't know if she's peeing anywhere. I can't smell it anywhere so I hope she's at least peeing in the litter box. I change the litter every other day. I have two litter boxes placed in the bathroom a foot apart. I wanted her to have someone to play with is the reason I got Rhett. She doesn't seem to really know how to play. She could tear him up but she mostly just slaps him and sometimes chases him. He is only a few months old. Sometimes I think she's playing but she seems to get angry and I'm afraid she'll hurt him at times. Rhett is very affectionate towards me and anyone else for that matter. Sometimes, I feel that she hates me. But when I took her to visit my mother, she said Scarlett looked for me when I was out shopping and seemed to miss me. I am sharing a house with another teacher. She just bought the house. I don't want Scarlett to start peeing again. ALso, the most important thing is that I want Scarlett to be happy! She doesn't seem nervous. She'll hang out with people when they come to visit but she doesn't want them petting her. It seems that when she doesn't get her way she takes her revenge on me and Rhett. She scratched my boyfriend up pretty well and he treats her like an angel. Help! He says she acts like a blue blood and she certainly looks like one. She's very single-minded and pissed off at everyone right now. I don't want to smack her with a paper or anything when she misbehaves. Should I? I've had cats all my life and I've never had one like this.
post #2 of 3
I don't want to smack her with a paper or anything when she misbehaves. Should I? I've had cats all my life and I've never had one like this.
Definately NOT...she doesn't know she is misbehaving and your action won't necessarily teach her to stop.

Regarding her pee issues my first question is obvious...have you taken her to the vet to rule out any health issues. If she has any type of illness or a UTI..the last thing she will want to do is be friendly. That is why you always want to rule out health issues first.

Also...how did you introduce Rhett to her?? Did you give her time to adjust to him by keeping them seperated or did you simply place them in a room together?? You may need to start the introductions again. Here is a good article on how to introduce cats:


post #3 of 3
Someone more expert will come along soon who can describe this properly. Your cat sounds to me very like the three rescued cats I've had. Thinking of three different cats with three different backgrounds who came to live with me aged between 18 months and 4 years old, all of them were emotionally upset from the experiences they had had and from the changes in their past and while they settled in a few months, it was several years with all of them before they really reached the point of being fully happy, settled and confident in us and in their new home. Peeing, particularly with one of them, was a problem and a sign of insecurity, but settled down straight away when the approaches recommended on the site here were used. In two of them chronic cystitus happened several times mostly from the stress of a new home but also in one of the cats from previous bad feeding. Not wanting to touch or be cuddled was common to all three of them - one, a female, when she decided that maybe we were ok and she was staying, allowed us to pet her and loved it, but then she would panic and lash out after a minute or two. That again improved as she came to trust us more. My persian boy who had been badly physically abused, took years before he stopped panicking when he sensed me about to put him down, remembering I'm sure being dropped or thrown, and all through his life he became very anxious if I was ill or down. I'm sure in my own mind that they remember being left, they remember temporary homes and it takes a long time for a cat who has been through that to come to believe this is now their permanent home and they can trust you. It's a slow process because it has to be built on the cat having consistent good experiences of life with you- she has to build them up for herself which demands a lot of patience from you, but the rewards when you do gain that trust really are huge.
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