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another introduction issue...

post #1 of 47
Thread Starter 
I know I know...
So many posts have been about it and so many articles out there. And believe me, I've read A LOT of them. But introducing a new cat to the old one is SOOOOO hard!!!!

Ok, call me a whimp, but I don't know what to do. Maybe Chichi likes to be the only pet in the house and was happy the way things were. For some reason I decided to bring in a new kitty to keep her company but she is angry, frustrated, won't play with toys that have the new kitty smell on it, hisses at him each time she sees him and you name it. Hisses at anything that smells like him, with a spit!

Maybe things will change, but they are both kittens! Male and female. Shouldn't it be easier to introduce them? How long should it take? Or, rather, how long should I wait to make sure that Chichi indeed wants to be the only pet in the house. Because I was happy with just her, maybe she was content. I know I shouldn't give up so soon, it's only been a couple of days. But the longer I wait, the more stress for Chichi, Wesley and me!
What should I do?!!
post #2 of 47
Give it more time, more patience and a lot more understanding. Kittens adapt pretty easily, but if it has only been a couple of days, you are rushing it.

post #3 of 47
It does take time before they fully accept each other. It's much easier with persians though, I hardly ever have any issues
post #4 of 47
I'm also having a horrible time introducing my cats...
post #5 of 47
Salem_Cat - I love your signature!!!!!!
post #6 of 47
I, too, am having a horrible time introducing my new cat to my resident one. Some days are better than others however. Last night was not one of them! Cassie likes to sleep on our bed with us and Napoleon is really nocturnal, he's up all night. He's learned though not to disturb us. Last night though he ate all of his food (we think he might have been neglected in his last house, and therefore has the "last meal" mentality whenever we give him food) and wanted more at like 3:45 am. In the meantime, he decided it was playtime with Cassie!! She was asleep and p!ssed off!!! So was I!!!

Anyway I spoke to my vet the other day and he said they are trying to establish territory. The way he deals with it is to be extremely social and her response is "I'm the star of the show, OK?" My absolute LAST RESORT will be anti-anxiety meds, but it's only been about a week that they've been socializing almost 24 hours a day so it is much too soon to determine. They've even napped together which to me is a BIG bonus.

I guess my point is that these things take time. Believe me, I wish it was sooner rather than later because I am losing a LOT of sleep when they bicker at night. Just letting you know that you are not alone in this.
post #7 of 47
My cats got along very well from the beginning, and I still kept them separated for a full week. Sam (resident cat) would insist on going onto the room to see Bailey (new cat) when I went in to see her, but other than that, they were not ever left together for that full week. I am fortunate, I have a glass door dividing my apartment in half. I only let them be together unsupervised when I saw them sitting staring at each other through the glass door and meowing. That was about 3 weeks.

You also need to follow suggestions for keeping the original cat reassured - still, after 2 1/2 years, I always greet Sam first, and put his food down first. And if I don't, he lets me know that I did it wrong.
post #8 of 47
We kept Bijou and Mika separated for 1 FULL month with supervised visits for small periods of time after the first week. They are now fast friends, eat together, sleep together, share food and use each other's litter.

As has been said - give it time. The kitties will also need to establish who will be alpha and only they can do that.

BTW I believe they pick up on your stress so try to be more relaxed about them and it may help.
post #9 of 47
Thread Starter 

I know it takes time. With my situation I just don't know how long, and I think I've made a mistake to have them be introduced to each other too soon. I mean I am not talking about slight anoyance or frustration or tolerating each other. I mean she treats him like an enemy! She HATES him. Like this:

He presently stays in the storage room and not happy about it. But I don't think I am willing to go through this for a month, that's the problem. In the last couple of days I felt depressed, almost identified with Chichi, really missing the good old times when it was just me and her. Maybe if I lived with a family member or a boyfriend, I would have much easier time, but now, I don't know. I only let him out in the evenings, when I'm there and I feel like I have to watch them, because Chichi looks like she's about to pounce on him and rip him apart. She's really pissed, the toys she used to love playing with, she messes with for a little bit, then smells his scent, hisses at them and goes away. She hears him meow behind the storage room door and hisses. I put the towel he slept on last night under her food bowls, when I come home tonight, I'll find out if that was a good idea.

I am going away for a weekend two weeks from now and if by then they don't at least learn to tolerate each other, I don't know what to do. I don't feel comfortable leaving them alone for 2 days, and definately don't think it's right to leave him in the storage room for 2 days. I feel bad enough that he has to stay there while I am at work or sleeping.
post #10 of 47
I'm having the exact same problem you are, and I too am keeping my new little one in a room all by herself, because my youngest of 5 rescues is so upset and frustrated with her being her! I have been trying Feliway-behavior modification spray with little success, and I emailed the company this morning for further advice and help with the spray. Their email address is info@vpl.com if you would also like info on their behavioralists.
post #11 of 47
In all of my introductions, I've never used Feliway or rubbed vanilla on any butts.

I have a "cat quarantine room" (spare bedroom) which is where the new cats are kept til they can be introduced. I let the resident cats sniff my hands after I've spent time with the new cats... let them sniff at each other through the door, touch noses through a barely-open door.

I have been lucky, though... my cats all adapted to each other very easily. All of my cats have different personalities, but just like a group of kids, they get along great some days, fight some days, pick on each other (especially the boy cats... they pick fights when they get bored).

And one, Dusty, who totally dislikes other cats but adores humans! She growls / hisses even at her brother Snickers, who she's been with since she was just a baby...

Like other ppl who posted here, I think cats need to establish an area of their own territory in your house. Each of my cats have done this. There are certain areas where each one will go to nap, hide when they want to, or just hang out. And you won't find the other 5 in that 1 cat's spot! The litter box issue was never a problem in my house cuz I have 1 box per cat, however they all share the same boxes. Matter of fact they have pooping contests sometimes where one will take a huge dump, then another will go in immediately following & dump on top of that dump, etc. and so forth...

Just give your kits time, they will adjust to each other! Alphas or non-alphas, eventually they do chill out. And eventually, they'll do what my cats do... sleep 20 out of 24 hours a day, then go bonkers the other 4 hours.
post #12 of 47
Hi darkeyedgirl, I've never in my 20 years of rescue had to use anything like Feliway before now...but I've never had a cat like Oliver before either. So, loving all of the time with me, never leaves my side, and if I walk out of the room he chases me crying. If anyone comes near me he takes off after them with a whiney cry, gets right in front of them, stands on his back legs and bats at their face like a punching bag...including my husband! Since he was my last rescue and he was only about 8weeks old when I found him, all my other "well behaved" babies just accepted him with no trouble. He's never had to accept a newbie before, and he's very jealous! And now he has the newbie so upset and on guard, that she actually bit through my top lip this morning when I tried to pick her up, OUCH!!!!!! And she's a normally sweet baby...I'm at a loss as how to handle Oliver's possessiveness! Got any ideas Please! LOL!!!!!
post #13 of 47
Originally Posted by WellingtonCats
Salem_Cat - I love your signature!!!!!!
Thank you WellingtonCats! It's my absolute favorite picture and I'm so glad I can finally use it somewhere, and thrilled you like it!
post #14 of 47
Your most welcome!!
post #15 of 47
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Salem Cat
And now he has the newbie so upset and on guard, that she actually bit through my top lip this morning when I tried to pick her up, OUCH!!!!!!
Maybe that's why Oliver is being so protective...
post #16 of 47
I want to tell you what a beautiful face Chichi has. If you look at my siggy, you will see that Sadie has similar coloring in her face & eyes. Sometimes Sadie looks at me like she is seeing clear through to my soul.

I think that if you can find a way to be patient & implement all the things that you are learning here about cat introductions...you will succeed. Chichi is a little beauty.
Good luck.
post #17 of 47
Thread Starter 
Awww, thank you Lei

She is a cutie. She can be a very naughty at times but she could be a real sweatheart late in the evenings when I watch TV. Your cat really does look like mine...

Chichi is going to have long hair though when she grows up a little, and she is more grey than white.

Both of your cats are cuties by the way, and so are many other cats I see pictures of on this site.
post #18 of 47
Hey Chichi, I just had to tell you I had a big break through in the last couple of hours! I thought heck with it, Sahara's coming out of the bedroom! I got my lazer light out and started squiggling it all over the floor in the living room. Each cat took their own corner and waited for their turn to chase the light. When I could see Oliver getting angry, he'd get a turn out of line. The light distracted them from each other, and they all played in the same room for over an hour! Oliver did finally try to attack Sahara, and now he's in time out alone in the bedroom, and Sahara's playing out here with the big boys! I suggest getting a lazer light...it's a miracle!
post #19 of 47
Thread Starter 
Oh yeah,

Chichi loves lazer light I got for her and chaces it everywhere. And yes, I did try that. I tried directing the light toward the storage room door. Chichi wouldn't go anywhere less than 5 feet distance away from that door as soon as she realizes that Wesley is there! (behind it)

Nah, I think I'm not at this stage yet. I have decided to step back on the process. I will keep Wesley in the storage room for now and keep randomly changing items between the two, like towel, kitty bed and toys. I'm thinking to put a treat on them, to let chichi know that his smell comes with a nice surprize. After Chichi stops hissing at things that smells like him, I will try to reintroduce them again.

Will keep you guys posted how it goes if you don't mind. This really helps me not to be so stressed about this thole fiasco.
post #20 of 47
Ya, you may need some more time I've been working on this for 3 weeks now, and tonight was our window of opportunity! She's now racing all around the livingroom...and getting on the counters in the kitchen...I just caught her drinking grape juice out of my husbands glass and he walked in right when I grabbed her away...and he took his glass with him into the other room, as I said nothing so he wouldnt be POed....I'm terrible! Must work on that issue next!!!!!!!!
post #21 of 47
Thread Starter 

Not doing so well... I am so mad at Chichi right now, I tried to put vanilla extract on her, she hissed at me, I tried to restrain her, by holding her by the scarf. She hates it so much, she wouldn't let me do anything! And she doesn't respond to treats, she doesn't care for food. I was able to handle any of my cats in the past...But not her!

Meanwhile, Wesley was meowing behind the closed door asking to be let out, so I just said screw it and let him out. I'm gonna let them deal with it on their own...

So they are sitting in the living room, staring at each other, and Chichi is hissing at him whenever he gets too close. No serious fights yet, just hissing and a bit of chacing. Yeah, seems like Chichi is more freaked out by him and wants him to get away from her rather than attacking him...

I think I need to make myself a glass of martini to relax a bit...

Oh yeah, thanks for the tip, SalemCat, the lazer beam does work.
post #22 of 47
You know, not that I'd wish this type of situation on anyone...it's a small version of hell,LOL! But seems the exact same thing is happening at both our houses tonight I'm finding it alot easier to handle with someone to talk with, I'm not panicing and pacing as I was this morning, so thank you very much!
And yes, I tried to comfort Oliver earlier and he hissed at me (he's never done that before), his body is stiff, and there's fire in his eyes. He is very upset! He does keep coming out here and sits in the corner, or on a kitchen chair and just stares at her and then runs full speed back to his hiding spot. She on the other hand, has made friends with my Lab, and wants to play with him...he doesnt quite understand though and just lays there. The other cats are coming and going, not even noticing her. All the while, she's so happy and excited to be out and is exploring everything! Hubby says I'm way to protective and I should just let nature take it's course, let them alone and they'll be just fine! And yes! A Margarita for me is sounding perfect right now!
post #23 of 47
I don't know which cat to spend more time with. I have the kitten in the living room, and gremlin (resident cat) in the bedroom/bathroom.. although i am watching in paws stick out as we speak.

Gremlin is so mean to the kitten, which is making the kitten scared of me as well.
post #24 of 47
Thread Starter 
Yes! You go girl, SalemCat! Have a margarita!

That martini was really good! You know, I just let them be and I think that's the best thing I've done so far. You can't think like them, cause they are cats and you're not, they'll figure it out.

Chichi still hisses at him but you know, she's not gonna kill him, the more I watch them, the more I see that she is afraid of him herself! That's why she hisses. She hisses and runs away...

I think they'll be fine...
post #25 of 47
Gremlin hisses and runs at the new kitten :/
post #26 of 47
Now gremlin is running at the new kitten, not hissing, but the kitten is trying to attack gremlin.


post #27 of 47
I am so glad that you all are in the same situation as I am!!!! I feel less alone. I feel less neurotic. I have been so upset with the introduction of my new kitty to my 2 resident kitties that I have felt like giving up. Then I get it together and figure it will work out since so many people have been through this.

My one resident cat Boo stays downstairs all of the time except to come up and eat or use the litter. If she sees new kitty (Icy) she hisses terribly and runs downstairs.

Other resident cat Abbey is usually upstairs with Icy but they are not in the same room. Abbey stares ALL DAY into the room where Icy is. If she sees her there isn't hissing anymore, only if they get too close to each other. Icy has her own litter and food in her safe room - she stays there most of the time occasional wandering.

My anxiety is that Boo will never come upstairs again and Abbey will never sleep with me again. Icy's safe room is off of my bedroom (only one that would work out) so my bedroom has become Icy's. I just feel like crying, or drinking, or both. You are not alone. I am not giving up. I want all three of my kitties.
post #28 of 47
Thread Starter 
Today I managed to rub Chichi with vanila extract. Just did it without restraining her, she didn't mind. She liked the smell. I then did the same to Wesley and let him out.

Now Chichi chaces him like there is no tomorrow.

I think this is getting much better now. They can now play around each other, so that's a good sign. They aren't best friends yet but they're turning this chacing into play.

I think I did a good thing yesterday to just let them be.

I'm taking Wesley into a clinic tomorrow for his shot and test, so he's here to stay...
post #29 of 47
That is exellent news. Let us know how the vet appointment goes.
post #30 of 47
Grem and the kitten are sleeping on the bed together! Grem licked the kitten's ear too!
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