Originally Posted by squirtle
Of course you have a right to your opinion. But, I take this as you saying that those of us who view occasional porn with our S/O's are commiting some sort of terrible immoral act and I have a problem with that...
I think that some sort of clarification needs to be made in this thread. Are you talking only about people who turn into porn addicts and sneak behind their partners back to watch it and chose to use porn as a tool that allows them to "get off" (as someone described it) by themselves? Because if so, then I would absolutely have a problem with my s/o doing that because it is dishonest and sneaky.
Or are you lumping everyone together as a whole and saying that every person who views porn is degrading themselves and commiting immoral acts and cheating, even those that are in stable, monogamous relationships who only view porn together on occasion to bring spice into their relationship or to use is as an educational tool???
If you view pornography as cheating, isn't it only cheating if you are dishonest about it? If you engage in it together is that really cheating? That's why I think we need some sort of clarification. Otherwise I am willing to argue until pig's fly that I am an honest person in a relationship with someone who I trust completely who does not and will not cheat on me. We do not perform immoral acts or acts that degrade ourselves or anyone else in any way. We watch the occasional porno for fun and it does not hurt anyone.
You see, that's the point, I don't view as something that adds "spice". I see it as a substitute for something missing or lacking in the relationship, even if it is a shared "resource". Even a shared resource, while it may suit one persons needs, it may leave the other feeling resentful and unfullfilled. If you're looking for something to educate both of you, I don't see how people involved in a meaningless act can help a couple who are seeking intimacy. There are many other, and likely, far more effective ways to educate yourself and your partner about sex.
Heidi was correct when she said that pornography has been around for a very long time, and I would agree with her to some extent. However, women being degraded (I won't even touch on illegal pornography as it's not the focus here) and promoting that for public consumption on a worldwide basis via internet, is a relatively new phenomenon, and the supply creates demand that we have never seen before this time in history.
Back to your point of porn being an educational tool, pornography is not something I would ever consider as educational. In fact, I'm in tune with my body enough to know exactly what my sexual needs are, and have never required someone other than myself define what I require on a sexual level. And hey, I am no prude, either.
I think that adding certain erotic elements to the bedroom can be done, but it can be done without adding other people (whether real or imagery) to the mix. If you just go with what you FEEL, you won't need a user manual. And that is what sex is to me, it is about feeling, and the bond that encompasses that feeling.