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Am I being unreasonable? - Page 2

post #31 of 35
I don't think you're being at all unreasonable. I've glad you've calmed down and it looks like you'll be able to work out new terms with them, but they need to commit to paying you something each month and keep that commitment. Surely, even if things are tight, they can manage to come up with something to pay each month...even if it's only $25. If they can't it's probably just not a very high financial priority for them.

Several years ago (while we were dating but before we got married) my husband's best friend since childhood was in serious trouble and needed money. This guy was like a brother to my husband. My husband lent him the money, but then the friend got in to trouble and needed more money. This cycle went on for a while, with my husband borrowing money from credit cards and taking out loans to help his friend out. The total climbed to around $10,000 that his friend owed him. Then his friend suddenly left town. We haven't heard from this guy in over 12 years. We have no idea where he is, and we're just finishing paying off his loans now.

No matter how well you think you know a friend, you don't know what they're capable of. It's absolutely not wrong of you to hold your friend and her husband to your agreement.
post #32 of 35
I think you should ask for the loan to be repaid on a set basis in a calm, controlled manner.

It may be that her husband is giving her a hard time about it because he now doesn't like you and probably doesn't want her to continue being friends with you. She is probably between a rock and a hard place - trying to appease her husband and make the marriage work and trying to work on your sympathies as a "friend" to make her life with her husband easier.

I personally would ask for repayment of the loan and let her know it isn't personal but that you have plans for the money and need it back. No need to apologize for wanting your own money back.

If the marriage works out - the friendship probably won't as long as he has that attitude toward you. If the marriage doesn't work out it's better to have your money back and if she is really a friend and the marriage doesn't work out she'll be your friend again. I think her husband is behind her giving you a guilt trip and she probably feels you are easier to deal with than her husband.
post #33 of 35
You could just say you want to be on a regular schedule and request this
Originally Posted by evnshawn
negotiate a new payment schedule (continuing payments, lump sum, whatever), and draw up a contract detailing how the remainder of the amount will be paid back. Have all involved parties sign.
post #34 of 35
Oh Purity - how sad! I have no advice for you but I hope you get your money back soon and then if it was me that friendship would be over!
post #35 of 35
Originally Posted by Purity
As Purr said, it's not even so much the money itself, it's the way her husband has treated me that's annoyed me so much. I'm not expecting them to be forever grateful to me, but a little bit of respect wouldn't go amiss!
That is why your thread hit me hard. I could afford the money that went to my sister. The only reason she got the money was because of that relationship. To have that gesture ignored and to treat me in such a rotten way is what hurts. Money comes and goes.

I wish you luck in whatever you decide. I know it's really rough.
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