Would You?

Hi!

This is just a question pertaining to something that happened quite a few years ago.

If you were sexually assaulted ( raped ) would you or did you what ever the case may be, report it?

This is just something that I need to ask, because although I have never asked this question before, it is very important to me.

I need to know if I was right or wrong.

Thanks!
Good Bye!

I was and I did.

I sent you a pm

i would if i was.

I would if I did

Hi!

Thanks for your replys!

I was, and I didn't so I blame myself for that some times. I have always been confussed. I always wonder if I did the write thing or not.

Thanks!
Good Bye!

But it has never happened to me so it's hard for me to say but I like to beleive I would report him

to you all that have been

the right thing at the time may not seem right today.

Hi!

Well I knew I should back then, but I was to scared. I think I did the wrong thing now.

Good Bye!

thers never a right or wrong thing (imo) about things like this. Yes, going to someone would give the chance to "get the other person in trouble". but sometimes for the victom that just isnt the right thing. Dont tell yourself you did the wrong thing. If it seemed right to you then you did the right thing.

I'm really not sure about this one. In an ideal world, I would report it. But, after the trauma of something so awful, the thought of having to stand up in court and have my life examined and pulled apart may be enough to put me off. I honestly don't know what I'd do.

I was when I was a student and I didn't report it - the guy was so pathetic that I actually felt sorry for him! But if it happened now I would.

Originally Posted by ilovejoelyo

thers never a right or wrong thing (imo) about things like this. Yes, going to someone would give the chance to "get the other person in trouble". but sometimes for the victom that just isnt the right thing. Dont tell yourself you did the wrong thing. If it seemed right to you then you did the right thing.

Click to expand...

THANK YOU for your wonderful, understanding answer. Years ago, in the restaurant where I worked, I was violated *digitally* in the walk-in refrigerator by one of the cooks. Because years before I'd been assaulted as a very naive 13yo., I was so ashamed & angry but also, I felt that I hadn't been hurt enough to create the havoc in the restaurant that going to management would have created. The next day, tho, I did go to the DA's office & found out that I could press charges for false imprisonment & assault, however, the restaurant owner (who had really helped me out over the years, and if he'd found out, had a bad temper, and more than likely would have assaulted the cook himself & gone to jail for it) would also be liable, and I felt that wouldn't be fair since the owner wasn't there that night. So I didn't say anything. However, the next night at work, the bus boys came to tell me that the cook was telling them & the rest of the kitchen crew that he'd seen me *act indecently* in the parking lot with a customer from the upstairs bar. I became so enraged, I marched up to the line & was determined to duke it out, knowing the other cooks would back me up. As a result, the 2 managers brought us both into the office (they'd heard rumors), and the female manager was the worst (she told me that it didn't sound so bad to her, so I started crying & told her, Then let him do it to you Diane!). But the cook said that I was lying, that even tho he'd put his hand in my underwear, he had only felt my hindquarters, which the GM said was still sexual harrassment. At the end of it all, word of the incident leaked out and the crew was divided into 2 camps - "pro-me" or "pro-cook" and it was really uncomfortable at work for awhile, which was the last thing I wanted. The only good things came from my consulting with the CA Labor Board; I was allowed to wear pants, instead of a short skirt; I didn't have to talk to the cook, but could communicate using a "middle-man". The down side was that I had a demerit for starting a fist fight with a co-worker (blows were never exchanged, the kitchen manager had lifted me off my feet & held me back) and the incident report in my employee file said that "both sides admit to committing sexual harrassment " , which I had to explain every time management changed.

That is such a terrible story and only shows why so few people report such incidents!

The difficult thing for women too, is that in many cases you still have to almost prove you didn't 'ask' for it and your entire past sexual history gets brought up. As far as I can see, a woman can be walking around in a skimpy outfit, have slept with 100 men in the past, yet if she says no, then it's still rape.

Rape is unfortunately still a case of one persons word against another. I can't remember the statistics, but I know the conviction rates are low (even including all the cases where rape was alleged then withdrawn). Who wants to go through the humiliation of reliving the event in court, only for the jury to not believe you and the perpetrator go free? I'm sure in many cases, it's easier to get on with your life if you let it go.

My friend was raped twice within a period of time. It was reported to the Police, but the police were useless. They put her through hell and made it a lot worse.

This may heve just been a one off but I would give a lot of thought to your actions.

Good Luck feel free to PM me if you want any more details

Dx

I would like to say I would...and with everyone around me..I'd hope to have that support team. Either way, I think it's important to find someone to talk to through conselling etc.