Originally Posted by ilovejoelyo
thers never a right or wrong thing (imo) about things like this. Yes, going to someone would give the chance to "get the other person in trouble". but sometimes for the victom that just isnt the right thing. Dont tell yourself you did the wrong thing. If it seemed right to you then you did the right thing.
THANK YOU for your wonderful, understanding answer. Years ago, in the restaurant where I worked, I was violated *digitally* in the walk-in refrigerator by one of the cooks. Because years before I'd been assaulted as a very naive 13yo., I was so ashamed & angry but also, I felt that I hadn't been hurt enough to create the havoc in the restaurant that going to management would have created. The next day, tho, I did go to the DA's office & found out that I could press charges for false imprisonment & assault, however, the restaurant owner (who had really helped me out over the years, and if he'd found out, had a bad temper, and more than likely would have assaulted the cook himself & gone to jail for it) would also be liable, and I felt that wouldn't be fair since the owner wasn't there that night. So I didn't say anything. However, the next night at work, the bus boys came to tell me that the cook was telling them & the rest of the kitchen crew that he'd seen me *act indecently* in the parking lot with a customer from the upstairs bar. I became so enraged, I marched up to the line & was determined to duke it out, knowing the other cooks would back me up. As a result, the 2 managers brought us both into the office (they'd heard rumors), and the female manager was the worst (she told me that it didn't sound so bad to her, so I started crying & told her, Then let him do it to you Diane!). But the cook said that I was lying, that even tho he'd put his hand in my underwear, he had only felt my hindquarters, which the GM said was still sexual harrassment. At the end of it all, word of the incident leaked out and the crew was divided into 2 camps - "pro-me" or "pro-cook" and it was really uncomfortable at work for awhile, which was the last thing I wanted. The only good things came from my consulting with the CA Labor Board; I was allowed to wear pants, instead of a short skirt; I didn't have to talk to the cook, but could communicate using a "middle-man". The down side was that I had a demerit for starting a fist fight with a co-worker (blows were never exchanged, the kitchen manager had lifted me off my feet & held me back) and the incident report in my employee file said that "both sides admit to committing sexual harrassment
, which I had to explain every time management changed.