Ok, now its annoying

RANT: This may make more sence to people who have read my past posts about my anxiaty stuff...

Ok, my bf has been on vacation for a week. Ive had a panic attack becase of this last monday. I should be completely thrilled because he is coming home on saturday. But im not. Its 3:15 in the morning, and i have a feeling that something is wrong. Or unrest. Or something just really weird. I feel kind of like i have built up energy that i cant get rid of. Almost like another panic attack coming on. Im getting so fed up with this, and how i cant handle anything anymore. Im terrified of school coming up, and being alone there. (joels going to and early collage program thing). Im tired of not being able to remember things like i used to, apparently thats from all the stress. But it is just terrible feeling like i cant do anything. I even feel like i cant ride in a car. Ive never had problems with any of these things before and i can not nderstand why all of the sudden im "scared" of everything. Well, i guess that it... rant over, heh.

Calm down chick or you'll make yourself ill.

Is it the fact that you have to do things on your own etc....

And why do you have a feeling that something is wrong?!

i know, i need to learn how to calm myself down, im already shaking which really starts a panic attack.

Yea, for the last year and 7 months joel has always been there, hes my support for everything. Now hes on vacation, and then going to a completely different school then me, and last spring i guess i just snapped and had my first panic attack during school.

I have no idea why i feel like somethings wrong, right now, at least. Im worried (for no reason of course) that hell get into an accedent or something on the way back from Iowa. Or that somethig will happen, and i'll never see him again, which i know is completely stupid.

You need a confidence boost!.

What about your friends?. And do you and Joel text each other, such as saying you got home ok etc... to put your mind at rest?!.

yea, we email back and forth, and we have been texting at night while hes on vacation. I guess my problem is im used to him being here 24/7 whenever i need him hes only a block away from my house, and now that hes not, and wont be at my school, on the bus with me...ect i feel messed up.

my friends lol ok friend "1" went on vacay the same day as joel did. Friend "2" had surgery and doesnt seem up to do anything / see anyone. friend "3" said she would spend time with me but ended up having to go to her cabin. friend "4" has her job and has no time for me between her job and her bf.

Thats the problem then!, your with each other all the time that your used to it.

What you need to do is get in a routine where you have some quality time for you, even if it's just for a few hours one day.

Go shopping in town, but when your there get Joel a little something to bring back just to show that he was still in your thoughts

There isn't anything wrong with being with someone 24/7, but i think you can become totally dependent on that person when it's like that.

im afraid i already have become dependant, and with my panic attacks im afraid to go out shopping :-( besides going to the therapist and joels house... i dont think ive left my house in almost 2 weeks. scratch that. i went to a friends once.

If you feel you can't go shopping, try starting things on a smaller scale. Go for a walk round the block. Wander down to the local shop, gradually building up to walking a bit further every day. When you see that nothing terrible is going to happen, it may encourage you to go that little bit further

i will try that the best i can, we live in a location where there arent many stores within walking distance. Gotta walk on a highway to get to them lol.

Do you drive, or get the bus? Try short journeys at first until you get your confidence up a bit. You don't have to dive right in and spend the whole day out, just take a 5 minute bus journey or drive down the road and back. Short little steps and before you know it you'll feel more comfortable.

If you can't face a trip just yet, how about just leaving the house for a start. You don't have to go anywhere, but you may find that once you get outside, you'll want to go for a walk? The fresh air will do you good

yea, im trying to get a dog right now so i can go out on walks with someone.

no, i dont have my licence yet, im becoming more and more afraid of driving too. i should have my licence in about a month but im too afraid to do any behind the wheel stuff. I really dont like this :-(

Have you been to see your doctor about this? If things are getting worse, you may well benefit from some professional help. This is just a blip, things WILL get better. Have faith!

I had a minor panic attack about a month ago when I couldn't find Bakker for 4 hours. I drove to where hubby was volunteering that day and mde him come home to find him (which he did in like 90 seconds) I lost a cat last July and also the July 2003 so I just freaked out BAD!!!! I was a emotional mess for the rest of the day. Hubby says I was all wound up over nothing but it wasn't nothing at the thing. I tried (and succeeded) to relax the rest of the afternoon and not dwell on what happened-watched a movie and called my sis and mom.
So it happens to the best of us but don't dwell on it-like the others suggested find some new things to do-perhaps a hobby that you could make something for your bf???
Plus always post here we will make you feel better too!!

Yes, i am seeing a therapist now, and they are thinking of puting me on meds... im worried about the weight gain they may cause. I am trying to think about other things. Im making cookies for joel for when he gets home. And im trying to get all purrrrdy! lol. Thank you for all your support everyone, it really means alot to me.

Originally Posted by ilovejoelyo

im afraid i already have become dependant, and with my panic attacks im afraid to go out shopping :-( besides going to the therapist and joels house... i dont think ive left my house in almost 2 weeks. scratch that. i went to a friends once.

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I get something similar to that, too.
My fiancee & I live & work together, & go most places together..I feel strange going somewhere without him. He also isn't what you would call an energetic kind of guy, & I think it's been affecting me, too. (I don't have my own car right now, am saving a big sum to get a decent one for cash, & hate driving his car-he is so anal about it)
But this type of inactivity has been getting me down, I am bored! And what happens when you are depressed? You don't feel like doing anything! I heard that some kind of activity is the best thing for depression, so try to do some little things for YOU to get out & feel better before dedicating the rest of your life to meds.
I won't say that meds are not the answer, but do little things like the other members suggested. Even if you have to force yourself-once you get into some kind of negative pattern, it really is a battle to overcome. It's like a downward spiral.

P.S.
And if you are stuck at home with nothing to do, nowhere to go...
CLEAN!!
Clean like a madwoman!

Originally Posted by Me-n-my guys

I get something similar to that, too.
My fiancee & I live & work together, & go most places together..I feel strange going somewhere without him. He also isn't what you would call an energetic kind of guy, & I think it's been affecting me, too. (I don't have my own car right now, am saving a big sum to get a decent one for cash, & hate driving his car-he is so anal about it).

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Same with me. I moved here 3 years ago and started working in the same building my husband does. We're never apart, and even go on breaks and lunch together.

I used to like going out at night, even just driving around if I had nothing better to do, but he likes routine and hates going out at night... since I'm a big part of his routine I know he'd go crazy if I went out without him so I don't. I usually find stuff to do... and I've organized a neighborhood social group that plans events for the neighborhood so I let that keep me busy-while not having to go very far for very long if I need to go meet them for something.

I have panic attacks all the time, too. It can depend on my mood, but if I'm alone in a hallway and hear someone coming up behind me, I'll instantly go into fight-or-flight mode. I've taken detours into bathrooms and offices when I've heard people coming before. My heart is pounding, I get completely tense, and feel the overwhelming need to HIDE.

Some advice that my boss gave regarding stress (and could be applied in the height of an attack so I'll try to remember that myself), is focus on only the things you can control. I'm sure if I take a deep breath, turn around and give a nice loud "Good Morning" to whomever was behind me, my attack would stop. I'd have taken the "control" of the situation then and wouldn't be so afraid.

One trick I have found to help my anxiety is rather silly but someone who does life coaching gave me the idea. I used to have a terrible time when my husband wasn't home - especially when he was at hockey games at night. I would imagine the worst.

The trick is to imagine what your anxiety would look like. Does it look like a green ugly troll or a two-headed purple people-eater monster? Give it a personality, a physical presence in your mind. After you have done this, then just tell this thing to get out of the room. Mentally kick him out. He's going to try to come back in and keep telling him to get out, to go away permanently. Don't try logic - just tell him to leave. This trick gave me more control over the anxiety than trying to distract myself.

aww thanks everyone! Its really not the depression that bothers me as much as the anxiaty. Having no appetite but being physically starving, but just to anxious to eat anything. I will try next time i have an attack to pick out what my moster looks like and tell him to get out! lol thank you all so much for the tips and kind advice.

After looking all over the place, I found the book which describes the trick I mentioned earlier. (Have got to clean house and throw stuff away). The book is "Taming Your Gremlin" by Richard Carson. It really helped me get a handle on my "anxiety gremlin" and ways to deal with it.

Good luck and hang in there.