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Prayers, vibes, love, and hugs needed...

post #1 of 38
Thread Starter 
Hi, all.

Some of you may have read through the thread about my houseguest who is being treated for major depressive disorder, suicidal tendancies and compulsions.

We are at the point of no return. Thankfully, she is communicative about her state of mind, wanting to kill herself and determined to do so; and she is not going to do that here at my house. I have the keys to the house, to her car, and to her strongbox (where I've locked the medicines in the house up.). I've tucked away all the other stuff she could hurt herself with, and she can't really leave without me, so she's safe. For the moment.

We were at her Dr.s yesterday, and he asked me how close I thought she was...and I told him she's already there in her mind. My friend agreed, and he's decided we don't have time to try another medication.

On monday, she starts Electro-convulsive Therapy. On her Dr's orders, she will be staying with me while this is going on, and I will be her primary caregiver for the next month (4 weeks).

She is terrified. I am terrified. I've been in prayer and asking for His help, and I can feel it. But now I'm asking for yours. If you could spare a prayer, I'd really appreciate it. I need some loving and support, because she can't see how scared I am; it only scares her more.

This is going to be a long, hard month. We will get through it, of that I have no doubt...but just how, I'm not so certain. And with my sanity intact, I don't know.

post #2 of 38
Michele....loads of prayers from here hon......and if you need to talk...just yell, ok?
post #3 of 38
Count with my best wishes Michele..
Sending (((((((((((((Good Vibes)))))))))))))
Animo chica!
post #4 of 38
Michele -- many many vibes and prayers for this next piece of time for both of you. Scary, indeed, and my hat's off to you for all you have done/are doing for this person. Please remember to take care of you, too.
post #5 of 38
Michele, lots of vibes and prayers coming to you and your friend. What a scary time for you both. I'll keep both of you in my thoughts as you and her go through this.
post #6 of 38
My heart and prayers are with you both. She is blessed to have you by her side.
post #7 of 38
Hugs your way I wil be praying for you and your friend during these hard times.
post #8 of 38
wow michelle,you have alot in ur life to deal with right now....from my family to your we are going to pray.....pray really hard and send all the vibes you need and more,,I don't know what it is really like but I could imagine...I guess she can take it one day at a time....Bless you both
post #9 of 38
You are a true friend! My thoughts and prayers are with both of you.
post #10 of 38
Oddly enough, I was the nurse who went with patients for their Electroconvulive Therapy (ECT) at my last job. When you first hear of it, it sounds barbaric. We had one patient who was so depressed that he only agreed to ECT because he thought maybe it would kill him! (It didn't kill him, in fact he was greatly improved.)

I have seen it go both ways, but when it does work it is very dramatic. Usually you need a course of about 6-10 treatments. If you only have 2-3, you may get the side effects (memory loss) without the benefit.

It is like a medically induced seizure, to kind of reset the brain to function correctly. When the treatment is actually done, the person is sedated so they are asleep. They also have all their muscles relaxed by medication. They are observed closely throughout the procedure. The people I saw have the treatment were all inpatient, but at my current clinic they refer people for outpatient ECT.

Hopefully, this will provide a quick change for your friend, and she will be feeling better real soon!
post #11 of 38
Prayers, Hugs & Vibes coming your way!! Bless you for being so thoughtful & caring for your friend!! May your good deeds bless you a thousand times over & more!
post #12 of 38
Vibes, love and hugs come your way and your friends
post #13 of 38
My grandfather used to have ECT and it helped him immensely. It doesn't necessarily work for everyone but I sure hope it works for your friend as well as it worked for him.

You have my thoughts, love, hugs and bestest wishes for good luck and strength to see you both through this.
post #14 of 38
Here are good vibes for strength for both of you.
post #15 of 38
Wow, what a wonderful friend you are. Thoughts and hugs to you both
post #16 of 38
What a true friend you are, Michele. You and your friend are in my prayers.
post #17 of 38
Michele, I'm sending all the love hugs and strength I can to you I hope the treatment works for you and you both maintain your amazing strength through it all!
post #18 of 38
Oh, Michelle - I pray that God provides whatever your friend and you need to help her get better.
post #19 of 38
My sister had to have ECU multiple times when she was in the mental institution. She lost some of her personality but is able to take life one day at a time these days I am told.
post #20 of 38
What a strong person you are to help her through all of this. Bless you.
post #21 of 38
Many thoughts and prayers to you and your loved ones.
post #22 of 38
Prayers & healing thoughts that everything will resolve & be OK.
post #23 of 38
What a care, wonderful person to help your friend with this. I hope the treatment goes well for her. Take care of yourself too. {{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}
post #24 of 38
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that being highly suicidal makes one eligible for civil committment. At least that way she would be under professional supervision all of the time and the burden would be off of you.
You are a good friend and you and your houseguest are in my prayers . I really hope she is able to learn through the therapy that life is always worth living.
post #25 of 38
Thread Starter 
The manner Beckiboo describes is what we are expecting. Knowing what will happen doesn't really ease the fear too much; knowing I have wonderful friends like all of you? That makes it a bit easier to face the adventure with a relatively calm demeanor.

Becky, we are expecting at least 10-12 treatments; 3x a week for 3 weeks, re-evaluation at that point, and then another 2-3 if needed. It's going to be a hard road, but I'm hopeful...she's not, exactly, but she's borrowing my hope and faith at the moment until she finds her own. That's our agreement.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that being highly suicidal makes one eligible for civil committment. At least that way she would be under professional supervision all of the time and the burden would be off of you.
Yes, and that option is always on the table. She and I have discussed it, thoroughly, and we are both very aware that if it gets too much for me to handle, that inpatient treatment is available.

The difficulty lies in her reluctance (which is a light word for what she's experiencing...) to be hospitalized. Her primary psychiatrist and I talk several times a week (and today, with two not very good (all right, horrendous is a better word) Drs appointments, we spoke no less than 5 times in 7 hours), and he and I talk about her and about me; he checks in on me and my wellbeing as well as my friend's.

Sure, it would be "easier" for her to be hospitalized, but...she is so against that, and she really feels safe with me (the rules are few and very, very clear in this house...), and she knows I won't hesitate to get physical with her should the need arise (she knows I was a competative black belt...and she's smaller than me at 130 lbs and 5'4"...), and she knows that the cats can't come with her to the hospital, so she's very clear that she doesn't get to act on the compulsions while she's with me. And so I am willing to give this a go. it may become too much for me; it's not yet, so the hospital option, while ever present, is not being used at the moment.

I've begun to understand a little more about what faith is, in these first few steps. I've begun to understand a bit more about generosity, and comfort level, and doing for others. I've begun to understand that sometimes, self and self's comfort does not come first, even in their own homes...and that making a difference sometimes means reaching beyond one's level of comfort, and into an unknown, unexplored place. It's stretching my spirit, it's enlarging my soul. And growth is not always pleasant. But that's all right, because it's always valuable in the end.

I am so thankful that you all are here to help me through this...and I know that I'll get through this a step at a time...after all...how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. I'm chewing as fast as I can.

Thank you all. Very much.

Much love to you-
post #26 of 38
best of luck, you are a great friend. God bless.
post #27 of 38
Hospitalization is certainly a good option. But there is almost no way she would be inpatient through the entire series of ECT treatments, anyhow. However, inpatient, there are different shifts of workers, rather than one person taking full responsability 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

We often do written or verbal contracts with people, with them guaranteeing their safety. Friday I talked on the phone to someone who was very depressed-we got her a Monday appt. She was crying as I spoke to her, so was obviously in great pain. But she did not want to talk to our "crisis worker", the therapist available for immediate crisis. She told me she would be safe until Monday, and that she was staying with her sister who knows the situation. So I let her go....assuming she will be ok until Monday when she sees the doctor.

I wish there was some secret to seeing a therapist or going in the hospital or even meds or ECT. But basically all they do is help the person along the way to wellness, it is a strength and healing that happens within the person to make them well. It sounds like you are under close medical supervision, and I applaud you for that. I really hope this works for your friend, Michelle.

Please keep a journal of your close-up view of ECT. It could be very helpful for people going into this to have a road map!
post #28 of 38

Sending you prayers of strength and hope.

post #29 of 38
Best of Luck and good vibes to you both!!!!!!
post #30 of 38
Sending prayers for good results, and for strength for you both during this stressful time.
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