Press charges or not?

airprincess

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Hey guys, this is a really passionate topic, no doubt about that, but there have been awhole lot of 9 and 10 year olds who have been introduced to this site, who may start lurking from home.

Everything we write now has the potential to reach a lot of 4th graders, so we should be mindful of that.

Not pointing fingers, not flaming, just pointing out that more than ever we have to watch how we get our point across. I'd hate for a parent to complain to Anne. Especially with the condition she's in.


thanks
 

sunlion

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I think she can only press charges if she has documentation of the abuse. Hospital records are good, but lots of little injuries never get seen by a doctor. Photos are good too, so maybe there are some family shots that show bruises etc. Better if someone actually took pictures to show the injuries, but unlikely. Otherwise it is a sort of he said / she said situation and all she is doing is stirring up a hornets' nest. Spousal rape might still be a judgement call, but assault and battery is not a gray area.

Are there no safe houses in the UK? I'm not sure her parents' house is the safest place for her, since obviously he can get to her there. She needs to be someplace away from him, where he has no access to her, so that she can get her head together and heal her body. Mom and Dad might be comforting, but they aren't prepared to have him show up on their doorstep I'm sure.

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AP, not trying to be disagreeable, I don't think there's anything here that a 4th grader couldn't know about. I think in some ways it's good for them to know that this is NOT acceptable behavior, both because hopefully they will grow up to have relationships of their own someday, and because there is the possibility some of them live in this kind of household and are keeping one of those secrets that really needs to be told. But I do appreciate our need to watch what we say or at least the language we use to say it.
 

jugen

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From one abuse victim to another...Press charges!!!!!!! The sob will eventually find someone else to make his "toy" when he realizes that you aren't going to put up with his...crap...(not the word I wanted to use, but will work for the sake of the young ones)
I think compared to this girl, i was really luck in that all my EX did was hit me and verbally abuse me. He never hit me with anything but his hands(not that that is any better or worse) which looking at this thread, i am thankful for( I guess). Now I realize that I don't have to take any ***t off of ANY man! I can defend myself and I can deal with life as it comes.
Bod, please tell your friend that she has my ut most respect and that she isn't alone no matter how much she may feel she is. And Please, please, don't take him back. It doesn't get better, it gets worse. Now that she is out, please tell her to divorce him asap.(if she is married to him) and find the inner strength she has and go on to have a better life without fear or hatred.
 

juicelyn0527

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Ok, first let me address my kiddies maybe reading this..I had the website up and ready, they didnt log in. It was already on the "post reply" screen for them. 2nd- please do not alter what you would say because of kids seeing it. I look at it 2 ways. 1st- the parents need to be monitoring what they see at home. 2nd- my kids come from all over this city. We have kids that are brought in from the projects downtown, calling others crackheads and stuff. They experience this kind of thing. We have had multiple calls to CPS and DFACS. In my own opinion, this guy is a scumbag. It makes me cringe to think that "if we ignore it, it will go away" no. he will repeat and repeat until someone dies. I hope this girl is strong enought to take a stand. By the way, isnt there anyway she can block the calls from his parents. What jerks. He probably was a momma's boy who did no wrong...and she still can't see it. My grandma is like that. BLIND. Dad is a convicted felon for drug charges and she cant figure out why I would get mad at him. I mean really! Can we know this girls 1st name? I'd like to pray for her. Thanks/
 
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bodlover

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Thanks for all your replies so far people, Juicelyn0527 her name is Lucy... I don't know her personally but know her mother, I will be sure to pass all this support on. She is at the moment proceeding with the divorce, which he is refusing, but I don't think he really has much choice in the matter..... I don't know all the details about "evidence of her injuries" as such, but Im sure she must have some kind of medical report from when he broke her ribs and skull.... so that could be used if she does decide to press charges.
I haven't seen her mother today so I haven't been able to get an up date yet, but I will let you all know as soon as I do. But I do know, there is NO WAY she will be going back to him....
 

lorie d.

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Originally posted by Juicelyn 0527
"if we ignore it, it will go away"
I have met abused women whose own families have this attitude. These families make it a lot harder for the women to deal with abusive situations. Lucy is lucky to have such a supportive mother.
 

tiggeytoes

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I am in agreement...there are people in jail for far less than what this @%#@&**$#@ has done. Out of respect and safety for that woman, as well as all women it is imperative that charges be pressed against him. If there are children in the family action should be taken to prevent the cycle from continuing in their family.
 

kittyfoot

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I recently got a PM from one of our members questioning my "right" to express an opinion on this subject. That I am "offensive" to some here who are "trapped" in this kind of relationship. (not yours AP)

My "right" AND my outrage stems from watching a close friend and her 4 yr old daughter buried a few years back. She too went back to the "thing" involved because he "promised to change" and he "needed and loved them." 6 months later they were both dead.

Yes,I hate these scumbags

If that offends...GOOD!!!! Just maybe someone out there will THINK about their possible future. I am so sick of the "do nothing" and the religious nuts and their "God commands you obey". Please people,if you are mired in this kind of relationship get out NOW before you wind up like my friend. God will not punish you for saving yourself and your kids.

For the whackos who council Stay and Suffer;I think God will have something to say to YOU!!!
 

juicelyn0527

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KF, I completely want you to know that I support all that you are saying. I see these things happen through my children in class...daddy in jail for beating mommy, mommy taking daddy back, RIDICULOUS. We have a student who literally threw another student down, stepped on his chest, and spit in his face. Wanna guess how dad treats mom? I don't think I need to explain. Why can't we all accept that each of us has different views? Each topic we cover will make someone uncomfortable. Hello? That's called LIFE.
 

dtolle

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Well, Ive never been in this situation myself so I don't have any first hand knowledge. Having said that, I think she should definitly press charges. It is unacceptable for anyone to abuse anyone no matter if its man or woman. There is no difference, if someone assaults you then you need to report it. They need to pay for their actions, and it won't happen unless you turn their butt in.

It infuriates me that people are willing overlook this sort of behavior.
If you were walking down the street and someone attacked you, you would go straight to the police. Why is this any different??????????????????????? Even if he stops abusing her, he will move on to someone else. He belongs in prison.
 
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bodlover

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Hi all, just a quick update, I saw the womans mother again today, she has been in constant contact with her solicitor, and has found a new job and a new home - she is moving into a shared accomadation house where there are always other people around her. As yet, no news on pressing charges...*sigh*..... I keep trying... honest I do!!
 

catarina77777

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Thanks for the update Rhea
It's nice to know she's out of harms way and probably getting some counciling where she's staying. Hopefully she will press charges, but for now, at least she's something for herself. Maybe she'll realize in order to do the most important thing would be to press charges. That way, she wouldn't have to worry and neither will any other woman this man decides to abuse in the future. I really pray he sees the error of his way and gets the help he desperately needs.

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hell603

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Oh thank god that she got away - too many woman just don't and than it's too late!!! This man is just pure evil
!!!
 
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