Worried about nothing.....long

I've been thinking about posting a thread like this for a while, but even still I'm not sure what I'm looking to gain from it. Basically, I'm in sort of a weird place right now. I've dealt with depression and anxiety issues before, but it's always been during school when I'm extra stressed (for example, during exams or when big papers are due) and have been blaming the flare ups on my workload at the time. Now, however, nothing is really stressing me out....well, I have the usual worries about money, what I want to do with my life and general day to day stuff, but nothing that's really bothering me all that much.
I think I'm getting ahead of myself....okay.....Lately I've been getting into moods where I feel miserable and VERY anxious and worried, but not about anything specific. I literally sit there feeling upset and worried, but I can't think of a thing that's actually bothering me remotely enough to explain it. I've lost interest in a lot of things (haven't been posting, just lurking.....haven't picked up my guitar in weeks.....etc) and sometimes go to bed even though I'm not tired, just because I'm sick of being awake. I've always been a very vivid dreamer and now a lot of my dreams are anxious-feeling (if that makes sense), so I wake up feeling as worried as when I went to bed. My boyfriend being around helps a LOT, but I just can't shake the mood.
I feel like my depression has always come and gone pretty much on it's own and am tempted to wait it out, but I'm concerned I might be reading a pattern where there is none just because I have an uncle with bipolar disorder (the type without the manic phases.....I believe type II). Before university I was never medicated for it, but found during school that I was unable to cope during these periods. So, I'd be on an antidepressant until school was resolved, then go off (I HATE how they make me feel....so detached).
To compound it all, I don't really have a doctor to go to....I'm taking time off from school to save some money up, and so I can't really go back to the doctor I was seeing there. My family's doctor is an idiot and besides, it takes like 3 months to get an appointment anyway.
Sometimes I feel fine all day, then all of a sudden I get upset. OR I'll feel upset for days at a time.....I don't know how to explain. I'm thinking I'll go back on the antidepressants (still have some) if this doesn't turn around soon.
I guess I just needed to rant a little bit. Thanks to anyone who actually managed to read all this.

You are not alone, hon. I have been there. And I did the same things: blamed the anxiety and depression on the constant stress of planning a wedding, and moving out on my own, worrying about money and the bills....and then all of the sudden, the anxiety got to a point where I would be worrying about unrealistic things. Nothing causes it. I think you have an anxiety disorder, and the depression is caused by it as well. You really should call your doctor, or another doctor if you dont feel comfortable with yours and talk to them before you start taking any anti-depressants, whether you were on them before or not. You need to be carefully monitored after you begin taking them. Here is a link to GAD---> http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/e...cle/000917.htm, see if these symptoms kind of match what you are going through.

I don't know what kind of medication you took, but if it made you feel detached, its not the one for you. I take 50mg of zoloft once a day, and it makes me feel great. Not that I dont still have anxiety attacks, because every now and then I do, but they are no where near as bad as what they were before.
I hope that you get the help you need to help you feel like "you" again. I dont think this is something that is going to go away on its own. If you ever need to talk, please PM me, and I will be there for you.

I have a thirty year old pony, Spec, who is calm and collected no matter what. Once when ds was brushing her, and I told him to brush her other side. Ben walked under her belly to get to the other side! She never batted an eyelash.

Then there are thoroughbreds. We used to have one, Grace, who only knew she was supposed to run, and run fast. She terrified her previous owner once when she got loose. She ran around the barn several times, and finally jumped the fence into the pasture. After riding her, dh's arms would be sore from trying to rein her in.

Spec and Grace were just wired differently. One is not better than the other, one is not impaired. Spec was born and trained to give a kid a pony ride, and Grace was born and trained to win.

Something in your wiring, or genetics, or experiences has contributed to how you are feeling. You cannot wish it away, any more than I can wish Spec to win a big horse race, or wish Grace to be a good horse for a kid. You are not impaired or defective. However, you are dealing with a very painful illness that does need medical care. And if you have had several bouts of depression, usually it is recommended that you stay on medications long term. This is because the meds work better at keeping you stable, than at bringing you up out of a black hole.

Much of what you described sounds like typical symptoms of depression and anxiety. It is treatable, with medications. Since it sounds like you will have trouble getting to a doctor quickly, at least think about what else helped in the past. A daily 20 minute walk in the sunshine? Cutting sugar out of your diet? Calling a supportive friend? Posting on TCS?

This is a very serious illness. If it is getting out of control, you will need immediate medical care.

Hugs! I hope you feel better soon!

I don't know what to say but I am praying for you...

in 1997 I had my first daughter at the age of 17.Well after she was born I got really sick and I was seperated from her for 3 weeks.That put me in bad depression(crying,sleeping,didn't want amyone around me,I would flip out at everyone that came in my way).....so I know some of the feelings..I am taking prozak cause they help me and my daughter calls them my "happy pills".I am doing good,but I still like being by myself and relaxing then have a housefull all the time.I now have 2 children and I am handling it pretty good.


I guess maybe try to relax and change ur daily activities if possible





God Bless You!!!!!

Thanks for the support everyone. And thanks for the link, Diane. Today is a crappy day and I have to go to work in 20 minutes, which won't make it any better. I would like to post more and make this longer, but I'm not really in the typing mood right this second. But thanks again for replying.

I used to be tempted to "wait out" my bouts of depression as well. Then I got suicidal. It was a place that I never thought I'd find myself. Everyone always saw me as a strong, level-headed person. That's because I kept everything inside and it was impossible to see that I was tearing myself apart. Anti-depressants and counseling helped me. For awhile I also needed anti-anxiety medication, as I was having panic attacks as well. I'm doing well now, down to one medication and feeling good about life. This isn't a temporary problem, in most cases. My depression has been with me for most of my life. Seek help, hon. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you just can't do it alone. Best of luck to you, you're in my thoughts.

What you are describing are classic depression symptoms. I would confer with a professional before just using up old medications. Anti-depressants can take a few weeks to be effective and you really should be monitored. Side-effects can sneak up on you. Depression is a difficult disease and takes awhile to find the right treatment. I know as I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to get my meds evaluated.

Depression can get worse with each episode so that is why you may feel it is harder come out of it.

You have also received some good resources here and remember you are not alone. I believe that any one of us would be there to support you. I know I would.

You are getting so much great advice! And it does sound like your old anti-depressant isn't a good fit for you. My daughter was on Prozac, Zoloft & finally Wellbutrin. Those all helped, but Wellbutrin was best, till we found a wonderful neurologist who recommended something that sounds like "lotraprazine", which is recommended for people who have acquired brain injury & that last one works great for her. My point is this: your depression could have many causes, so you may need a different combination of medication & life strategies than has been prescribed for you in the past. I'm glad that you have your BF! be alert, though - partners of depressed people often get depressed themselves (it happened to me after my first year of marriage - my DH had big-time depression following brain-surgery). Please visit us often & let us know how you're doing! Hugs & prayers, Susan

Originally Posted by diane8704

You are not alone, hon. I have been there. And I did the same things: blamed the anxiety and depression on the constant stress of planning a wedding, and moving out on my own, worrying about money and the bills....and then all of the sudden, the anxiety got to a point where I would be worrying about unrealistic things. Nothing causes it. I think you have an anxiety disorder, and the depression is caused by it as well. You really should call your doctor, or another doctor if you dont feel comfortable with yours and talk to them before you start taking any anti-depressants, whether you were on them before or not. You need to be carefully monitored after you begin taking them. Here is a link to GAD---> http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/e...cle/000917.htm, see if these symptoms kind of match what you are going through.

I don't know what kind of medication you took, but if it made you feel detached, its not the one for you. I take 50mg of zoloft once a day, and it makes me feel great. Not that I dont still have anxiety attacks, because every now and then I do, but they are no where near as bad as what they were before.
I hope that you get the help you need to help you feel like "you" again. I dont think this is something that is going to go away on its own. If you ever need to talk, please PM me, and I will be there for you.

Click to expand...

i think it sounds like GAD too, because i have it and i get worried a lot about nothing

i'm also on 50mg of zoloft once a day and it has improved my anxiety a lot, i still get anxious of course but it's made it easier.

if you need another person to talk to, feel free to pm me too

goodluck

Thanks for all the advice, guys. I was able to get an appointment with the school doctor next week, so we'll see what he has to say. Hopefully it won't be a problem that I'm not registered for classes this semester. I feel better today than I did yesterday, which is a nice change (though I know that could always change later on, but still might as well enjoy it). I'll keep all of you informed about what the dr has to say when I see him.

I am so glad to hear you have a doctor's appt. Finding the best medication for you is the important thing and even more important is finding someone to talk to - maybe your doctor can refer you to someone with more expertise in the area of depression. Depression is an illness and it hurts!! Zoloft and the others mentioned here are good but make sure you find a med that works for you because what is great for one person is not for someone else. Don't depend on the meds tho - your doc should be able to put you in touch with a psychologist or psychiatrist or group that meets.

I myself cope with post traumatic stress and have seen a psychiatrist for it. I worry about people who do not realize they have depression. Take care and good luck!!! Take one day at a time. I know it's the old AA line (In med school I did a stint at an addictions center and the sayings from AA were everywhere - and they actually are pretty good: Easy Does it, Have the courage to change what you can, not change what you can't wisdom to know the difference - screwing that one up, lol

Here it is, serenity prayer - did not know it was called that but anyway:

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change those things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference. (Reinhold Niebuhr

So glad you are going to see a doctor. There is quite a lift when you finally reach for help as everything is not as hopeless.

Remember that - there is alway hope somewhere and that you're not alone.