Need some advice...about my sister

caprice

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She graduated in May from High School and hasn't sent out Thank you cards to any of the people that sent her gifts or came to visit her. I am appalled by this. I have given her the addresses of MY family (since she is my half sister, my side of the family sent her monetary gifts and a whole bunch of other stuff). I have asked her 3 times already, and this last time she got really ticked at me and told me to chill out, etc. that she will get to it when she had the time. Ok, might I add...she went to a concert last Thursday night instead of helping my father (when he was released from the hospital). Her excuse was that she has been too busy because of school (which she hasn't started), work (which she only work 30 hours a week) and my dad (oh...wait, I was the one that took 6 hours to pick him up and take him home and drove from one city to the next)! I really don't know what else to say to her. She seems to get really defensive over everything. Obviously, she doesn't think of others or she would have called family members already to thank them. Is it really that hard to take 5 minutes out of every day to write someone a thank you note?! When I told her I knew what she was going through, she got mad! I have to work and go to school full-time and tend to animals and a husband at home. What do I say to her? I am just so BLAH right now!

Thanks for letting me vent....
 

rapunzel47

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I hear you loud and clear, Candie!! That would tick me off, too. I don't know what further to suggest, though. Frankly I think you've done what you can do. If she won't listen to your advice, there's no way you can force her, nor would that be particularly productive even if you could. Seems she hasn't learned that people don't like to be taken for granted, but maybe she'll just have to learn that one the hard way. You've probably already pointed that out to her.
 
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caprice

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Originally Posted by rapunzel47

I hear you loud and clear, Candie!! That would tick me off, too. I don't know what further to suggest, though. Frankly I think you've done what you can do. If she won't listen to your advice, there's no way you can force her, nor would that be particularly productive even if you could. Seems she hasn't learned that people don't like to be taken for granted, but maybe she'll just have to learn that one the hard way. You've probably already pointed that out to her.
Thanks. I can see a huge difference in the way I was raised (by my mom) and the way my sister's were raised (by my dad). It makes me sick...I just want to scream!
 
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caprice

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We are suppose to take her and her boyfriend to dinner for their birthdays when we get back from our cruise next month. I've changed my mind. I don't want to spend $200 or so on someone that doesn't appreciate a dang thing I do for them.
 

gailc

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Evidently she doesn't know the rules of etiquette. She's the one that is looking bad-perhaps when she doesn't get anymore gifts for another event she might get the hint.
 

4kids4cats

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Originally Posted by caprice

We are suppose to take her and her boyfriend to dinner for their birthdays when we get back from our cruise next month. I've changed my mind. I don't want to spend $200 or so on someone that doesn't appreciate a dang thing I do for them.
Good for you! There is no way you can force her to write thank you notes. You should be applauded for even taking the time to explain the importance of them
At least someone is trying to teach her manners.

Off topic....what ship are you sailing on? I am addicted to Royal Caribbean cruising....Princess is great too.

Bobbie
 

jennyr

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Sadly, it takes a very special teenager to realise that the world does not revolve around them. Once she gets a few shocks she will probably change her ways. Till then you cannot really do anything, other than set an example and treat her as she treats others.
 

diane8704

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It sounds to me as if your sister is not only selfish, but she is also very self absorbed. Theres nothing you can do about it. I agree, I certainly wouldnt take her to dinner, nonetheless her boyfriend. And I would tell her the exact reason why: You dont appreciate anything anyone does/gives you because you EXPECT it. And that makes you selfish. I am not going to feed into or support that behavior. And dont. Stick to your guns, but dont let it make you angry. You cant change it, and thats who she is.
 

rapunzel47

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Absolutely! Actually the dinner plans provide a "teaching moment": cancelling with appropriate explanantion gives you a good opportunity to make the point. She probably won't like it, but that's her problem, and perhaps she'll learn from it.
 
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caprice

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Thanks for all the wonderful advice guys! I really appreciate it!!
I spoke to my father awhile ago about her behavior...I kinda feel bad about pushing her. He said there is a stack of Thank you Notes that she's been working on. She kinda didn't mention that. So, maybe now I am the one that looks like the fool
Even then, she should have been up front with me. I would have understood her. Oh man, the drama
 
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caprice

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Originally Posted by 4kids4cats

Good for you! There is no way you can force her to write thank you notes. You should be applauded for even taking the time to explain the importance of them
At least someone is trying to teach her manners.

Off topic....what ship are you sailing on? I am addicted to Royal Caribbean cruising....Princess is great too.

Bobbie
Bobbie,

We are going on a 5 day cruise out of Galveston and we are going on Carnival Ecstacy.
 
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