who has the last say?

You need an other option. I live with my mother and I have the last say.

I voted me.

My husband always discuss the big stuff and come to an agreement. Usually he will just let me make the decisions because he doesn't want to. The worst arguments we have had is who would make the final decision because neither of us wanted to.

I am a bit concerned about my husband's brother though. He will be getting married next year and came out with the "She's taking my name or we're not getting married" as though she didn't have a say in it at all. I don't know where that came from because his brothers and father aren't that way (I wouldn't have married my husband if he was like that). I need to keep an eye on that situation.

Hubby always has the last word.. it's 'Yes dear'

Originally Posted by Shem

Hubby always has the last word.. it's 'Yes dear'

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Love it!

Originally Posted by WellingtonCats

Love it!

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Originally Posted by Shem

Hubby always has the last word.. it's 'Yes dear'

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Good one!
Mike & I usually talk the big stuff out before we decide..like whether or not we should sign another lease, or.. ??
But we can influence each other, because now he's got it in his mind to see if we can get a house, which sounds very scary, so we would really need each other's support for that.
I like to talk to him about decorating ideas, if he likes them or not. Little stuff like that.

Originally Posted by Shem

Hubby always has the last word.. it's 'Yes dear'

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My dad asked me last week who had the last word in the relationship...and I told him usually me...and he said are you sure?! And then, he said...I think it's him....and then he said, "Yes Dear!"

Originally Posted by ugaimes


Sorry, I'm a hard-core feminist and I want my voice heard in a relationship!

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You are my new best friend!

I, also being a raging hairly-legged feminist, chose 'both of us' because we're both very thoughtful, sensitive, yet opinionated people who are willing to talk through each issue to come to a compromise. We know how important this is to both of us and it completely works in our relationsip!!

Both of us; we agree on mostly everything.

When I was married it never mattered what I thought. That's why I love my Maxey so much - everything we do is a mutual decision and the things that are important and involve us, our relationship, our home, our pets and our futures are discussed and agreed upon. It's LOVELY!!!

Originally Posted by WellingtonCats

You need an other option. I live with my mother and I have the last say.

I voted me.

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That's because you're a teenager LOL!!

To say that one person or the other has "the last word" is a recipe for disaster waiting to happen.

Betty and I discuss important issues as well as minor ones, and it isn't difficult to reach a concensus, and if one of us is out of town and a decision has to be made (this would be rare, beause we keep our life under better control than that) then the one on the spot would make the decision and the other one would fully support it.

On money matters, I TOTALLY defer to my wife, because she was in a pretty responsible position in one of the larger financial houses, and knows how those things work, and in areas of my expertise, she defers to me, but we still confer regularly.

Leonard.

We generally work things out together. There are some areas,where he is "boss". He used to be a diesel mechanic, so he manages the vehicles. I am a nurse, so tend to have more influence with health decisions. We did discuss this before we married, and agreed that if we ever couldn't compromise, he would have the final say. But over 12 years into it, that has never come up!

My ex was one of those control freaks. He got mad over the dishes I bought once, and I had to ask him what am I in charge of? I think that although in a marriage we have to work things out, there should be areas where each can make decisions without needing to check in with the other person.

Besides the control issue being a red flag-I would also consider respect. If both parties respect each other, they will treat each other fairly. If one person thinks they are the "ruler", and the other person is their "subject", look out!

Definitely both of us. We discuss and come to a decision together. Not that we haven't swayed one another toward a different way of thinking, but I can't imagine letting someone make all the decisions in a relationship that I'm a part of!

To say that one person or the other has "the last word" is a recipe for disaster waiting to happen.

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i disagree, my husband and i have the most open, honest, loving, friendly and amazing relationship i know, everyone comments on how well we work together, how good we are with each other and how we are never selfish but try to support each other and how obvious it is that we are totally in love

my husband it not some totalarian control freak, if something is important to me then i get a say too, most the time we agree anyway as i said before so this hardly ever comes up, we both love the same movies, same outdoor activities, both have the same veiw on what should be done with finances etc

for example, say we have some money and a financial plan has to be sorted out to pay bills, some are more important, and we can't decide on what should get paid first then my husband doesn't just say 'ok, well i'm taking control now and this will be my decision!' i just let him do it because we can't decided and i trust him to make the right decision, besides, he's a accountant and deputy cheif execitive officer, who deals with finacial planning every day.

he's a very busy execetive and i'm an artist so we compliment each other very well in a lot of ways....it's not for everyone no but don't knock it until you have tried it.

so many realtionships are breaking down these days, relationships where no-one takes control yet my so called bad relationship where my husband is mostly in control is going strong and always has been, we have been through a lot but our relationship is still just as good as when we first met.

i'm chosing a lovely spa suite to stay in for my birthday in a few weeks plus a restaurant and champaigne and i'm going on a birthday shopping spree, yes my husband is in control but that never causes problems for us, my husband loves me unconditionaly and would do anything for me





felicia

There's not much we don't agree on pretty much right off the bat. But we still consult, do reality checks, just to make sure nobody is making wrong assumptions. It's very reassuring how infrequently we need to have any significant discussion to arrive at a decision.

Originally Posted by CoolCat

hummmmmm

when is a serious decision WE analize every point

, in other words we try to "talk" all....
I think depends what is the case, sometimes she took the desicion and sometime I....

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If it is something I'm passionate about, I'll get my way, and If it is something Dan really wants, he will get his way. If we are equally strong minded after long discussion, we go to a coin. simple but effective.