Shy cat?

We have had Ranger for a little over 2 years. He doesn't seem to respond to us the same way that Emmy and Samson do. Normally, when we put a hand out to either Emmy or Samson, they will come right over, maybe sniff our hand and then rub against it. With Ranger, he acts very afraid and nervous. He almost strikes me as being abused. However, we know he wasn't. We got him when he was about 5-6 weeks old from a family who had a "Free kittens to good home". We didn't notice any signs of abuse to him or any of the other cats in the home. Neither did our vet notice anything wrong with him.
He also doesn't respond well to playtime. I swear Emmy and Samson have supersonic hearing. You just pick up a string, and one of them is bound to show up to play. Ranger never does. If he happens to be in the room during playtime, he looks like he really wants to play, too, but when you take the toy over to him, he'll flinch, and if the toy lands on him.....he's gone!!
I have expressed numerous times to the vet about all this, and he seems to think that it's just Ranger's personality, and he reminds me that people can be "loners" by choice, too. So, I was thinking, can cats actually be shy??? Even after 2 years with 2 other cats, and an 8 year old boy, that are all very active??? Ranger will play with Samson, once in a while, but he even acts afraid then, like he's not sure if Samson is just playing or not. He seems fine in every other way....eats, sleeps, and poops, just like the other 2. Does anyone else have a "timid" kitty? Or have any suggestions?? I feel I have tried everything possible, and God knows that the only way I may "abuse" them is I spoil them rotten!!!

I have expressed numerous times to the vet about all this, and he seems to think that it's just Ranger's personality, and he reminds me that people can be "loners" by choice, too. So, I was thinking, can cats actually be shy??? Even after 2 years with 2 other cats, and an 8 year old boy, that are all very active??? Ranger will play with Samson, once in a while, but he even acts afraid then, like he's not sure if Samson is just playing or not. He seems fine in every other way....eats, sleeps, and poops, just like the other 2. Does anyone else have a "timid" kitty? Or have any suggestions?? I feel I have tried everything possible, and God knows that the only way I may "abuse" them is I spoil them rotten!!!

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Sure, they can. Surprisingly, Penguin is not the most shy in my household - Pie is. And there's no real reason for it, either. She's very attached to me, and will come over (when she wants to) for some love, and she will play, but she doesn't like to interact with the others at all. I call her my bookworm.

Compared to Penguin, who is curious, and communicative with her body language, and comes into the room (now) when both myself and my houseguest are in the room, both fans going and the tv on...while Pengy won't let anyone get too near, she's much more interactive with the other cats, and has improved leaps and bounds from the cat that lived under my bed.

Pie is herself...and it's fine. She's just a shy sweet girl...I'll bet your Ranger is the same way. As long as all medical issues have been ruled out (and knowing you, they have), then I'd not worry about it too much.

Best-
Michele

I've had my 2 boys since they were 12 weeks old. They were born feral, but my vet solcialized them early. Frantic comes over, snuggles with me, sits in my lap and lays on the top of the sofa while I watch TV. He loves to head-butt my head while we watch TV. Pipsqueek will come over, stay just out of reach and look at me and cry. When I put my hand out, he comes to just my finger-tips for a scratch. If I try to get closer, he backs off. If I am able to snag him, he sits for less than a minute. He was the child I needed to medicate as a kitten tho. So he must remember me having to wrap him in towels and squirt some nasty tasting pill and liquid down his throat.

If Ranger is happy and healthy, don't worry about it. I'm the shy one in my family (believe it or not!)

Originally Posted by Sweets

. Pipsqueek will come over, stay just out of reach and look at me and cry. When I put my hand out, he comes to just my finger-tips for a scratch. If I try to get closer, he backs off. If I am able to snag him, he sits for less than a minute. He was the child I needed to medicate as a kitten tho. So he must remember me having to wrap him in towels and squirt some nasty tasting pill and liquid down his throat.

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That's how Ranger is, too with attention. Except we've never had to do anything to him, that may have caused his shyness. It just breaks my heart that he acts like that, 'cause it makes me feel like he doesn't trust me. Even shy people will normally not act so shy around people they know and trust. The big thing that worries me with his aloofness, is if there are ever any future medical problems with him, how will I know until it's too late?? 'Cause with Emmy and Samson, if they started keeping to themselves, and didn't want to interact, I'd know there was something wrong. With Ranger acting like this even without any medical reasons, that thought terrifies me, that he could be sick in the future, and I wouldn't recognize it, unless I'm lucky enough that he just came down with it right before his annual visit. It seems like the more I try to love him and show him how much I love him, the more he pulls away. But, yet, if I try to ignore him,like he seems to want, then I feel horrible.

Ranger was pretty young when he left mom so he may not have gained enough socialization skills so he is shy and timid. When I had my first cat, no one believed I had a cat because they never saw her. (I just kept a litter box to fool everyone )

She wasn't really affectionate with me until she grew older. She didn't want to play with me and would stop playing with her mice if she thought I was looking. I learned with her that we just hang out together. I would talk to her, give her attention if she wanted it, and just let her be. That was a big adjustment because I wanted a cuddle bug. But after awhile, I came to appreciate just having her around. She taught me a lot about allowing others to just be.

I think that as long as Ranger is healthy and getting along with everyone, accept him with his shy nature.

Thank you all!! katachtig---I hadn't thought about the socialization skills, nor had my vet suggested that.....but that does make sense. It's just that I've never had a cat like Ranger, they all seemed to know me for the sucker I am! Maybe Ranger has learned that playing "hard to get" works....in some ways. I do actively seek him more, than the other two....if for no other reason, just to make sure he is definitely okay. With Emmy and Samson, they're usually up my butt.

Originally Posted by emmysamson

With Emmy and Samson, they're usually up my butt.

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After learning with Petunia to just let her be, I'm now adjusting to Lucy and Carly who this morning had a hissy fight over who was going to be held. Carly can almost literally smother me with affection.

I think Ranger is going to be fine. Allow him to join at his own pace and he will get his confidence up.

Give him some one-on-one time ... close the door and keep the other cats out. I bet he'll be less shy without the other cats around.