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Important scientific breakthrough!

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
Subject: Administratium

Investigators at a major research institution have recently discovered the heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery has been tentatively named Administratium (Ad).

This new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.

In fact, an Administratium sample's mass will actually increase over time, since with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the "critical morass."

You will know it when you see it.

post #2 of 7

thanks for posting that Joe!
post #3 of 7
Thread Starter 
You are most welcome! I wanted everybody at The Cat Site to know about this amazing discovery as soon as possible (as if they didn't already).

post #4 of 7
That was really good!
post #5 of 7
Joe forgot to mention that "Administratium" in it's natural state is found most dominantly (not in the vast depths of a natural rain forest) but thriving in a metropolis known as "Capital Hill". . . . Further late-breaking news will be reported as discovered.
post #6 of 7
:laughing2 Joe...that was great! :laughing2 :LOL:

post #7 of 7
Thread Starter 
Scientific inquiry into the specific locations of Administratium are to be stifled, according to lobbyists in the District of Columbia. The House of Representatives, responding quickly to its constituents the corporations, have passed a bill making any further discussion of Administratium a violation of national security. The president is expected to sign the bill once lobbyists are able to get it passed by their other employees the senators.

Confidential sources indicate Administratium had been found present in the bone marrow of office managers, administrators and corporate executives. "The private sector is sacred," stated an official who wished her identity kept secret. "All problems stemming from Administratium must be blamed on government, not tracked to sources in corporate board rooms or Ivy League business schools."


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