THis woman drives me mad...

sunnicat

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Oh, good luck, sweetie. Sounds like a terrible mess. He does sound as if he understands that his mother is the problem and supports you. Is this right? I hope so. There are enough hurdles to overcome in a relationship without the influences of a crazy mother-in-law! I wish you the best!
 

jcat

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Originally Posted by fwan

thanx tricia,
ack i will not move into the same house as her, only the same appartment block,.
I have made ground rules, that they have to respect my appartment like they do here, and that she is not to have any double keys or anything, nor is she allowed to pop over when ever she wants because i live on the first floor, because she never just pops over here for no reason
I'm relieved - I thought maybe you were moving into a duplex or triplex, and that she'd be hovering over you two. The keys are important. My in-laws live around the corner from us, and naturally we have keys to each others' houses. When they're away, we water plants and bring in the mail. Early on, my m-i-l didn't respect our privacy, although we asked her several times to only use her key after ringing and determining that nobody was at home (she doesn't have a dryer, and sometimes uses ours, and there have been times when I've called from work and asked her to close windows, or to make sure that the coffeemaker was turned off.) The following is R-rated: She ignored that request until the day she came barging in while we were "getting it on" in the kitchen; Ever since then, she's not only used the doorbell, but has also called out, "Is anybody home? Can I come in?" fwan, you're making the typical "English Speaker living in Germany" mistake. An "appart(e)ment" is a "bed-sitter" in British English, or a "studio apartment" in American English. What you're moving into (Wohnung) is a flat or apartment.
 
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fwan

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hahaha!
I find Germans are very open about this topic.. they will full on tell you to go home because they want to get on, and they even talk about it infront of their kids.


well oops. I dont know.. i thought it was always "appartment" because in italy its called "appartamento" and in england and australia normal people have houses.
(not sure about america as ive never lived there)
Thank you for explaining though..
 

evnshawn

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Originally Posted by fwan

(not sure about america as ive never lived there)
Thank you for explaining though..
You would think, wouldn't you, that many people being able to speaking English would be enough to facilitate clear communication?


Here's the lowdown in America (or at least, in the middle of it; there may be some colloquialisms of which I'm not aware ... never know about those coastal folks
):

Apartment: a dwelling in a building that you share with several other tenants. Each tenant has their own entrance from a common hallway or breezeway. Apartment complexes often have several such buildings. Apartments are usually smaller than houses, and they are usually--though not always--rented, not owned.

Studio apartment: same as above, except a studio apartment basically has all the living space in one room, except for the bathroom, which is its own separate little room.

Duplex: a free-standing house that has been built specifically to house two different dwellings. Duplexes are usually symmetrical; each dwelling is a mirror image of the other. It's not uncommon in the US for someone to own a duplex, living in one half and renting out the other.

Triplex: similar to a duplex, but with three dwellings instead of two.

Townhouse: can be freestanding or have one or more shared walls, and is owned rather than rented. Townhouses usually have multiple floors. If you live in a townhome, even though you own it, generally the outside maintenance is cared for by community management.

So, there you have it. In my part of the US, anyway.

Back on topic: Sorry about your MIL. Just remember that Ben can't control her behavior, only his response to it. And don't give her a key!
 
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fwan

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today she called me to see if i was okay, i told her i was fine and that ben went to have an interview. a few minutes later i didnt realise but she had called again i called her back and i asked whats up and she said she was just trying out her phone to see if it worked.. She was nice so i thought nothing of it.
Ben got home and we were having a late lunch and he told me, the things i had told her the other day. (i made sure i said nothing that was bad)
She then told him that i was only made into this world to just have kids, in other means she meant that i was a useless piece of sh*t
Ben told me to ignore it, it really upsetted me for a bit. I still have alot to learn in life and we had discussed that incase we do break up, he wouldnt kick me out on the street he would repay me the favour i did for him in the first 1 1/2 year of our relationship.
I look at my self and i realised how much happier i was when i lived in australia, i would have finished school. I would be going to university or working by now. I wouldnt be so behind and doing nothing.

I have no motivation to finish my VCE, ive already failed the first half of my year and this way i cant finish year 11. I have no idea what im going to do. To finish off high school.
 

ckblv

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The woman sounds like she has "issues" and is VERY insecure. Try to ignore her, it will drive her nuts.
 

gilly

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Oh Frannie
Next time you see her, you should just chuck a cup of coffee over her!
 

jcat

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Originally Posted by fwan

today she called me to see if i was okay, i told her i was fine and that ben went to have an interview. a few minutes later i didnt realise but she had called again i called her back and i asked whats up and she said she was just trying out her phone to see if it worked.. She was nice so i thought nothing of it.
Ben got home and we were having a late lunch and he told me, the things i had told her the other day. (i made sure i said nothing that was bad)
She then told him that i was only made into this world to just have kids, in other means she meant that i was a useless piece of sh*t
Ben told me to ignore it, it really upsetted me for a bit. I still have alot to learn in life and we had discussed that incase we do break up, he wouldnt kick me out on the street he would repay me the favour i did for him in the first 1 1/2 year of our relationship.
I look at my self and i realised how much happier i was when i lived in australia, i would have finished school. I would be going to university or working by now. I wouldnt be so behind and doing nothing.

I have no motivation to finish my VCE, ive already failed the first half of my year and this way i cant finish year 11. I have no idea what im going to do. To finish off high school.
Fran, do you at least qualify for "Mittlere Reife" (roughly the equivalent of British O-levels)? If so, why don't you look into what I teach, "Wirtschaftskorrespondenz", i.e., commericial correspondence? You have to quailfy in two foreign languages, generally English combined with French, Spanish, Italian or Russian, and the focus is on translation and business correspondence. I've had a number of British, Canadian, American or Australian students. English is the global language, so you already have an advantage. Frankfurt is a big city, with quite a few language schools. Just make sure the course is "staatlich anerkannt", i.e., accredited.
Ben's mother sounds a bit "off", but you are by no means at her mercy. You've got Ben, who sounds like a reasonable person, your parents, your British relatives, and me. If things get too bad, I'm about three hours away by train. Don't let her games upset you. Just the fact that she resorts to such behavior shows her weakness, so laugh about it! How does Ben's father "handle" her?
 
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fwan

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aw tricia, i dont live in frankfurt anymore i moved back in january to Witten (which is next to bochum and dortmund)
The international school costed far too much, but i will look into what you teach, maybe they have one here in dortmund.
My second language is italian so i should be fine?
 

bigorangemenace

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I've got one word for you Fwan

P-s-y-c-h-o

with a capital SCARY FREAK!!!

O_O I dont know about anyone else. But if I am in a group of people and my mom asks, hey Cassy, could you get me a water? Uusally anyone else who wants something pipes in O_O

Ok I guess maybe to have the BEST manners maybe it would be polite just to ask "anyone else want something?" but still that lady's reaction was waaaay over the top.

What she should have done was say "Oh hey, can we have some too? In fact, I'll come in and help you!"

of course... from what we know about this woman just from this post, you probably should run away screaming if she ever says that. And make sure she doesnt have a knife.


*edit* Oh, she wasnt even outside with you and your friend and her daughter???? What what does she expect! I mean... if my mom were outgardening and said "hey, could ya bring me a bottle of water?" and I came outside and the neighborhood was standing around her saying "Hey, where's our water eh?" I would be like. .... "um..... sure..." and run away screaming.
 
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fwan

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Originally Posted by BigOrangeMenace

I've got one word for you Fwan

P-s-y-c-h-o

with a capital SCARY FREAK!!!

O_O I dont know about anyone else. But if I am in a group of people and my mom asks, hey Cassy, could you get me a water? Uusally anyone else who wants something pipes in O_O

Ok I guess maybe to have the BEST manners maybe it would be polite just to ask "anyone else want something?" but still that lady's reaction was waaaay over the top.

What she should have done was say "Oh hey, can we have some too? In fact, I'll come in and help you!"

of course... from what we know about this woman just from this post, you probably should run away screaming if she ever says that. And make sure she doesnt have a knife.


*edit* Oh, she wasnt even outside with you and your friend and her daughter???? What what does she expect! I mean... if my mom were outgardening and said "hey, could ya bring me a bottle of water?" and I came outside and the neighborhood was standing around her saying "Hey, where's our water eh?" I would be like. .... "um..... sure..." and run away screaming.
hahahaha!

I walk away.. screaming in my head hahahaha
 

jcat

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Originally Posted by fwan

aw tricia, i dont live in frankfurt anymore i moved back in january to Witten (which is next to bochum and dortmund)
The international school costed far too much, but i will look into what you teach, maybe they have one here in dortmund.
My second language is italian so i should be fine?
Dortmund will definitely have a good train connection to Stuttgart, so I'm always around as a last resort (though not this month - I'll be in the U.S. from August 4th to September 5th). All I can really suggest is that you tell youself that you're dealing with a very immature woman who likes to play "games", and that it isn't worthwhile getting upset about her weird actions. She sounds very jealous.
It's very important that you finish your schooling. If you plan on staying in Germany, it probably doesn't matter whether you have the "Abitur", or "Mittlere Reife" plus some sort of vocational training. Speaking both English and Italian should give you a big advantage in today's global market.
 
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