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The Joy Of Aging

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were
stolen while he was passed out. While that was an "urban legend," this one
is NOT. It's happening every day. I'm sending this "warning" only to a
few of my closest friends. You too may have been a victim ... read on.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night of August 3rd a few years
ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with
someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal.
Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been wholly, if
imperfectly, mine for years? Whose thighs were these? What happened to

I spent the entire summer looking for them. I searched, in vain, at pools
and beaches, anywhere I might find female limbs exposed. I became
I had nightmares filled with cellulite and flesh that turns to bumps in the night. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.

Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My rear end
was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my
new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower than the
original) to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. Now my rear
complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts
would stay in fashion.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning while
fixing my hair, I watched, horrified but fascinated, as the flesh of my
upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was
really getting scary. My body was being replaced, cleverly and fiendishly,
one section at a time. In the end, in deepening despair, I gave up my

What could they do to me next? Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age
was supposed to creep up, unnoticed and intangible, something like
NO, I was being attacked, repeatedly and without warning. That's why I've
decided to share my story. I can't take on the medical profession by
myself. Women of America, wake up and smell the coffee!

That isn't really "plastic" those surgeons are using. You know where
they're getting those replacement parts, don't you? The next time you
suspect someone has had a face "lifted," look again! Was it lifted from
you? Check out those tummy tucks and buttocks raisings. Look familiar?
Are those your eyelids on that movie star? I think I finally may have
found my thighs...and
I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!

This is NOT a hoax! This is happening to women in every town every night.
.......Warn your friends!!!!!!!
post #2 of 7

that was great Diane!
post #3 of 7
post #4 of 7
I can live with the odd jiggle now and then, but I'm sure my bust line used to stick out a lot farther than my belly. Not to mention, it used to have more, um, fullness. I'm not sure whose these are, but I sure understand why she gave them up and I hope she's enjoying mine . . .
post #5 of 7

That is a true NIGHTMARE....G R O S S!!! :laughing2 :laughing2

Geeesh! I'll install a Brinks Alarm System! :laughing2

post #6 of 7
Thread Starter 
..unfortunately for me, that would be like locking the gate after the horse has already escaped!
post #7 of 7
Oh Cleo....that was great!!!! I truley beleive those theives have been visiting me the past few years, I sure wish someone could catch those rascals, and lock them up for good!!!

I want my butt back.....

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