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Breaking the Cycle of Shame.........

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
Tonight was my first full math class and because of something in my past, I was really dreading going. You see, when I was growing up, my father decided that because I was so stupid in math, that the appearance of his belt would help me learn better. Anytime I didn't get a problem right on my math homework, he would beat me. Bring home bad grades in math (anything lower that a C I would get beaten. Well, it didn't work and I failed math all through school and he wore out several belts and a few buckles on me. So I grew up with a hate like you wouldn't believe and looking at a column of numbers would send me into a panic attack complete with an arsenal of tears and the shakes.
So tonight, I pulled my teacher aside and told her my past and she was really kind, she spent about an hour just talkiing to me, drawing me out really and sat with me while I read the first chapter explaining to me terms and concepts I was unfamiliar with and then she gave me a competency test of 100 questions. I only missed 6! And I only came close to crying twice!! It is a huge step forward for me and I have a smile as wide as the Nile River right now. I wanted to share this with all of you not to brag, because after all the test was only on the first chapter, and there are 86 more chapters to go, and not so you would feel sorry for me because of what my father did so long ago, but because I would hope you would celebrate with me the achievement I feel right now. If I can conquer this mental block then in the long run, nothing will stop me from attaining my goals and getting all I can out of life!
post #2 of 23
reading that made my smile as big as the nile!

thanks for sharing

post #3 of 23
Hissy, that's absolutely terrific! I'm so glad you did so well on your first test, and were able to focus and complete it! What a huge step in putting the past behind you where it belongs.

post #4 of 23
How brave you are for sharing that, and how smart.

What a good teacher to take the time to listen and then to go over all that with you. She saw the potential behind the trauma.

You must be very proud of yourself.

Nothing is impossible.
post #5 of 23
You go girl!!!!!!

Isn't it great to be able to kick your fears (and your past) right in the fanny!
post #6 of 23
That is fantastic Hissy. I also dread math - I had a grade 10 teacher tell me that if I promise never ever to take math again - he would pass me. My father also became abusive in bad grade situations & that year I passed math with 50%. I had a huge fight on my hands convincing my dad that I wasn't going to take math again. I now use it every day. It took me a long time to get over the fact that my teacher gave up on me. I am glad you have a supportive teacher.
post #7 of 23
I love you, MA and may you only continue to get better and better and better in math.
post #8 of 23
Thats so wonderful Hissy that you got a good grade on your math test! :blubturq:

I'm glad that your teacher was so understanding. Be proud and congratualtions!
post #9 of 23
Way to go Hissy!!

You've got a great teacher there who is willing to take the extra time to help you. I also was and still is terrible at math (isn't that what calulators are for??)

I have every confidence that you are going to do great and you will reach the goal you set for yourself. I'm SO proud of you!!

One question though, why do they call a diploma a sheepskin?? :confused3 :confused3
post #10 of 23
You have a great positive outlook!!!!! It takes real courage to overcome your fears. Good luck with your course. You're on the road to success.
post #11 of 23
Hey Hissy, can you give me any information so that I can get better at math. I am terrified of numbers, counting, or working the cash registor. I also have alot of problems with Problem solving. Thanks!
Here is a friend that is singing for you! He is cute!
post #12 of 23
Congratulations, that is terrific news!!

I despise math with a passion..not that I'm really terrible at it or anything, I do pretty well most of the time..but I've spent way too many years learning useless stuff I'll never use

I am so happy that your teacher was able to work you through your fears and be supportive and helpful! I'm studying to be a Spanish teacher and I sincerely hope that I can help my students in the way that this teacher was able to help you

Congratulations again, that is a truly wonderful accomplishment!
post #13 of 23
Here is this picture I found that looks like Rascal! Isn't he cute?
post #14 of 23

If I remember correctly (and I bet I get some of the details wrong)

Way back in ancient time, paper wasn't so common and didn't last as long as it does today. People wrote mostly on bark or leaves, but of course those decay or crumble fairly quickly. So if you had a document that you wanted to last, you wrote it on parchment, which was actually a very thin layer of leather, stretched and dried and scraped over and over. If you ever see some old scrolls (like the Dead Sea scrolls), there are often patches where someone misspelled a word or something needed to be changed, so the error was literally cut out and a new piece was inlaid. Anyway, parchment was most commonly made from sheepskin, and your diploma was very important so it was written on parchment, so . . .
post #15 of 23
I, too was afraid of math for years. I was never beaten, just severely berated by my parents. They thought their girls weren't worth educating past high school, but you should do well there to prove you weren't stupid. I desperately wanted to go to college, but they would not allow me to take college prep courses in school or SATs which were optional at the time. They said the girls were a waste of education, they would just get married and never use it. You are an inspiration to me. I have eagerly read all your updates and I am so happy for you. I am probably going to be relocating soon, but as soon as I do, I am going to look in to going back to school myself. There are several decent schools where I am going, and I will decide what I want to do when I can see what they have to offer. Thank you.
post #16 of 23
After organizing and riding herd on all those cats for so long and doing all the rest you do there is no doubt about your determination and skill. You will do this..and pass with flying colours. You will hit hard patches for sure but you will work thru them. We believe in you,I believe in you. Go girl and don't look back. The only question will be if we will have to call you Dr Hissy??
post #17 of 23
Hissy, what a wonderful story. I applaud you for going back and facing your demon. I, too, have a block in math. When I decided what college to graduate from, I chose the one that had the least math requirements, because I am so bad in it. Not only that, but I took that one required class during intercession, which only lasts 4 weeks so that I would not have time to forget what I had learned. My biggest problem is that I can learn math for the moment, but not retain it. I got an A on the mid term, but then failed the final. At the final I was able to do everything from the second 2 weeks, but had already forgotten what I had aced 2 weeks earlier. Fortunately I had done well enough the first 2 weeks to pull me up enough to pass on my final grade. You are a couragous woman, Hissy, and your teacher is a true educator.
post #18 of 23
I'm really glad for you Hissy, and it sounds like you have a wonderful teacher....I am also very sorry to hear about what your father did to you in the past.
post #19 of 23
Thread Starter 
I stuck a couple of my cats pictures in my math book and when a problem gets to much for me, I get out of the chapter and go looking for the picture. Then I just sit there thinking about the kitty and I start to smile and relax and know that I am okay and I have many who love me waiting at home pass or fail. Then I am able to continue working without suffering the anxiety attacks.
post #20 of 23
That's so fantastic, Hissy! What type of math are you taking? I am dreading the higher maths myself. I've had an Algebra course (non-transferable units) and Statistics, but I completely bombed Physics, and dropped out of Pre-Calculus quite a few times. Math anxiety is something aweful, and the college here even had a class to address it. I just wish they'd offer it again!

Anyhow, it's fantastic news that you are doing so well and that your teacher made you feel comfortable. You are such a bright lady that I know you'll continue to succeed in anything you set out to do!
post #21 of 23
It helps to take physics and calculus simultaneously, because calculus is the math that describes physics. It's almost impossible (at least for me) to do math when I don't know how to apply it. Things like derivatives only make sense when you can see how the equations for energy, power & work (for example) relate to each other.

But of course physics and calc together is a lot of work! The rest of your credits need to be incredibly simple fun things with no homework, like juggling or papercutting 101, just to balance it all out.

Otherwise your brain explodes.
post #22 of 23
I'm very proud of you, for having begun the process of overcoming a dreadful experience of your youth. I was fortunate in having parents who cared and were supportive, but subsequently I've heard several stories similar to yours — beatings by parents when expectations weren't met.

I hated mathematics in the past, I hate mathematics now and I shall continue to hate mathematics. Left-brained stuff has never appealed to me. But that you should have been beaten, for disliking something which is hated by at least 75% of all people who've ever lived, is a tragedy. I'm thrilled you're making such progress now!

Nena, that little kitten singing on the piano keyboard is adorable!


post #23 of 23
Hissy that's fantastic!! It won't be easy, but keep on trudging and remember you're doing this for YOU and aim for a personal best not what your father would have expected you to.

It was exactly the same for me as Adymarie; my grade 10 teacher passed me on condition I never took math again. Can you believe it? I never graduated from high school in '86 because I didn't have math; I hated it, and felt so stupid when faced with a bunch of numbers and letters that I just didn't understand. My Dad never beat me, but he was really critical of my performance in shcool; I'd bring home a B that I was really proud of and he'd say "why didn't you get an A?" Bringing home C's and C-'s in math didn't go down very well. Anyway, I went back to night school, took math, and got my high school diploma in '98 . It wasn't easy and took a while to do but I did it. Now I'm at uni, no no math attempted yet, but reading your success story inspires me to maybe tackle it again! You go girl! :kitty5: :girly2:
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