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Holiday Lament ;)

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
Happy New Year!

Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I would taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store it was less a walk than a lumber.
I remembered the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rare,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "None for me, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---
I said to myself, as only I can
"You can't spend another winter disguised as a man!"
So -- away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie -- not even a lick.
I'll chew only on long celery sticks.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, life's no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

post #2 of 7
That really applies to me!!! Hahaha!!!! I can really relate to that.
post #3 of 7
Cute poem! Most of us eat waaaaaaaaaay too much during the holidays!
:icecream: But it sure is fun!!!!!
post #4 of 7
Cleo!! That is brilliant!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.... I know that feeling toooooo welll..... especially love the line "I'll chew a carrot and quietly cry" Hahahahahahahaha!!!! Tooooo funny!!! (Why don't they invent chocolate flavoured carrots?!!! ha ha)
post #5 of 7
That's really too cute, Cleo! I love it! It really fits me....I know I gained some weight over the holidays...blaaah, why does it have to be food that makes us fat? Why can't it be something we could care less about, like mud? :laughing:
post #6 of 7
Thread Starter 
Careful there Debby....Hissy happens to be very fond of mud
...just ask Racer!
post #7 of 7
:LOL: Okay, then....how about bugs or snakes? :laughing:
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